See Red!

I don't do anger well. The I'm not gonna take it any more kind. I'm working on it. While I am firmly rooted in the late sixties/early seventies WoodStock generation I think something of the fifties seeped into my irrigation system. Well at least the image of women in the fifties. What? Life isn't like a sitcom? Hell at this point in time does it really matter why I don't do anger well? The bottom line is still the same.

It's not as if I'm a shrinking violet when it comes to letting it out. Those would be my daughters exact words. "As." "If." I do upset and I do frustrated and while they may appear very much like anger they are not. If they were the same I wouldn't be writing this and Webster's would be shorter by one word.

Now anger comes in different sizes and different shades of red. I'm not talking about the kind that is like the path of a giant tornado. Not the kind that pops your bloodvessels so your eyes turn red like the devil's. I'm talking about the garden variety red gardenia kind. It's when someone, your friend, your boss, your colleague or your guy does something that makes you mad. Not every little thing they do but that one thing that was wrong and thoughtless.

See red. Be angry. Not upset or hurt. You may feel those things too but let yourself get angry. I prefer my anger to come with a steel look in my eyes and a quiet voice. The yelling thing is never as effective. You yell and then you cool off and then they rinse and repeat. I rarely can achieve this quiet kind of anger but I'm working on it.

I think I have been afraid of anger. Maybe they won't like me anymore. Even I know that's just stupid. Ha! And you guys are taking advice from me! These moments are not about being "the bigger person" which usually means backing down. These moments are about saying "hey I'm worth it so pay attention."

Don't apologize for being angry. Let them apologize and when that happens, just like that, let it go!