In No Particular Order

This is a list for women who haven't reached what I like to call the Hawaiian years yet, as in Hawaii 5-0. Aloha Dano! Its a little something to keep in mind so you're ready when you get here. If you already have your hula skirt on then check the list anyway.

1.Tricep push ups. I don't care how thin you are if you don't do these you will have saggy arms.

2.Quit smoking. You might get to live to 50 if you stop smoking but thats not why its on the list. Quit so that when you get here you won't be all wrinkled.

3.Wear a bikini. See number 4 for the reason.

4.Take a picture in your bikini. I carry mine in my wallet! Then I can pull it out and say "SEE!" I rocked that bikini and I can prove it.

5.Learn how to have an orgasm. You'll be a happier person when you get here! There are a surprising number of women in all age groups who haven't found what's right for them. This may have to be a do it yourself project but make like the Nike ad.

6.Make love in a place you shouldn't. Obviously its fun but you also get a story to tell later on.

7.Dance. At a club or in the privacy of your own home. There's something joyful in doing it and we all need more joy in our lives. It keeps you connected to the body you've been shlepping around all these year!

8.Travel. Everyone should have a good road trip story to tell. One great thing about aging is having history. Your history is in your stories.

9.Keep a journal or write a blog.

10. Demonstrate. Care about something so much you're willing to hit the streets for your cause. Being passionate about something makes you feel alive.

11.Decide never to lie about your age.

12. Never throw out your favorite jeans. They will come back in style. How I wish I still had my first pair of bell bottoms. There is no way in hell they would ever fit but what a piece of history.

13. Find your style. I love fashion but my style will always be slightly hippie chic with a little grunge mixed in.

14.Hang on to old friends. They know all the old stories because they're in them and so they love hearing you tell them. As the years go by the stories get better and the laughter gets louder!

Okay well that's it! Don't say you haven't been warned!