What's my number?

I recently came across a list of questions that were aimed, so the list maker decreed, at opening your mind. Admittedly there are things in my mind that should stay locked up! So lets just say I'm willing to open the door a crack to let some fresh air in!

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are? Great question. Now the pressure is on! What's my answer?

I'm occasionally shocked at my chronological age. I'm not quite sure how I got here. Everyone has heard that platitude about the number not mattering, its all about how you feel inside. Inside I feel 16! People will always give you a different age for how they feel inside. Some will say 18 or 20 for example. There's always a reason for whatever number you pick. Its not totally random.

The main reason I feel 16 is because that was the age I really went out into the world. I felt like there were so many options to explore. I still feel that way which is why I have that connection to being 16. I'm not done yet. By 16 I was starting to discover my passions. The things in life I am drawn to and they haven't changed very much. I started really discovering who I was and now I am rediscovering that very same thing.

So is the answer to the question 16 for me? No. I'm at an age where I'm in a committed relationship and we are (re)discovering what that means after all these years. You could say I am childless, meaning that my children are no longer kids. I have adults not kids! I am embarking on some new ventures. Sometimes I have to fight against preconceptions of my chronological age. If I had to make a guess I would say all this puts me somewhere in my twenties.

As I write this I have to honestly tell you that it feels a bit like mental masturbation! Hey, don't blame me, I don't make these expressions up! , Truth is it doesn't matter what your answer is, what matters is that you shouldn't let a number rule your life. Damn, who turned on the lights in here?! Consider this mind open for business, although it is a work in progress.