54 Things

You know what *they* say about being older and wiser. So I thought, what the hell, lets see if that's true. So I went and stole this idea from a snippy 33 year old whose blog I came across. I just had a birthday so here are 54 things I have learned in 54 years!

LIFE LESSONS
1.Being picked last for sports had absolutely no effect on my adult life. Good one huh? I thought I'd knock that one right out of the box!

2.Read a book or do whatever it is you love and don't worry about the dust in your house. Slacker wisdom but no less wise!

3.Even if you don't love your job have fun for the eight hours you are there. In other words "Don't let the bastards get you down!"

4.Check your pockets before doing the wash. Pockets of the clothes you are about to wash! Not the clothes you are wearing. Did I really need to say that?!

5.Only donkeys never change their minds.

6.Your hair will grow back. Okay that one is only true for bad haircuts not for men going bald. Sorry guys.

7. Do tricep push ups. You will thank me for that one ladies.

8.Take a sick day if you need one. I have over a years worth and no one really appreciates it. They're just glad they didn't have to deal with the inconvenience it would have caused THEM.

10.Take pictures of everything! If only we had had cellphones back in the day!

11. When you start to take yourself too seriously...STOP!

12.Motown is the perfect soundtrack for anything in life.

13. Drive like it's a privilege not a right.

14. Never say "It can't get any worse!" because it can and it will. God loves a challenge. Which leads us to #15.

15.God has a sense of humor.

16. Talk to your parents like they're real people. Try to discover what they're like when they aren't being your parent because once they're gone well they're gone.

16. No one should die alone. If it's too hard for you, tough shit.It's not about you so man up and that goes for women too!

17. Don't be facebook stupid! Whatever you put on facebook will be seen and not always by who you want.

18. Vote. It's the only thing keeping your form of government democratic.

19. I'm a good mother. Who knew?

20. Stories get better with age.

21.Be nice to the people underneath you. Learn their name. Say hi and say thank you. It will pay off and it's what you should be doing regardless.

FASHION
21.Dress like Audrey Hepburn and take Coco Chanel's advice about accessories.

22. Wear nice underwear. Besides the what if you get into a car accident thing, even if you're the only one who sees them, it gives you a feeling of power.

23.Don't wait until you really need an outfit to go shopping. That's exactly when you can't find a thing!

24. Buying a new pair of boots makes winter bearable.

25. If you love it then save it because it will come back in style. I wish I had saved my first pair of bell bottoms! And yes I know there is no way in hell they would fit me now!

26. Stop smoking. Wrinkles are never fashionable.

27.Buy clothes in your size not the size you want to be. Also when getting dressed check out how it looks from the back too. The general public will appreciate it.

28.When you go out looking like a slob because no one will see you is when you run into everyone! So do what I do, wear big sunglasses and cross the street!

FRIENDS

29.The people who cross your path do so for a reason. Pay attention.

30. Friends that don't make you feel good about who you are aren't friends. Cut em loose! You deserve better.

31. Nothing beats old friends and face it, you're going to need them to help remember all the old stories!

32.If a friend can't keep someone else's secrets then they won't keep yours either. When a friend tells me "Soandso told me not to say anything but" I just smile and put a little mental checkpoint next to their name.

33. Listen more. Do so by keeping your mouth shut and only use your ears.

34. Be a good friend. This way when the shit hits the fan of course you should remember to duck and but you will also have friends who will come and help you clean it up!

35. Playing outside is better than being on the computer.

BUT

36.You can meet really cool people via social media with whom you can then go out and play with!

37.Looks change. Not everyone ages well not even "the beautiful" people. But the most amazing thing is when you meet an ordinary or even not good looking person and you come to love them. They look beautiful to you. Oh and one more thing about looks. I saw a picture of this sweet nerd from like Grade school. Grown up he had the whole six pack abs and all I could say was "What was I thinking!" Looks, they can go either way.

38. My new friends are mostly younger than me. I think because all the women I meet that are my age seem old. Yet my old friends in both senses of the word do not seem old at all.

LOVE
39.If you want unconditional love buy a puppy.

40.Hold hands

41. Kiss goodnight. I mean really kiss. No quick pecks.

42.You can't always fix things so try not to break them to begin with.

43. The secret to a long marriage is not getting divorced.

RANDOM (read last minute)
44 Random acts of kindness are a rush. A girl at the bus didn't have enough money so I paid for her. She wanted to somehow pay me back. I told her to just do the same for someone else one day. Felt great.

45. Dancing makes you feel good. Have you ever watched an itty bittty kid at a checkout line just start to dance to the muzak? My point exactly!

46.Ocassionally do something you would not normally do. Feels exhilarating! Freaks people (who think they know you) out!

47.I can watch Casablanca over and over and still tear up at the end. I can read Lamb by Christopher Moore again and still laugh and be amazed at how good it is,

48.Starting to sweat as I learn just how hard writing a list is! The beauty of blogging is that it appears to have been done in one take!

49. Having an empty nest is a good thing. It means you did your job well and you can now rediscover who you are! This should have gone in the LIFE section but you don't tink I'm going to go and renumber everything?

50.There are 2 good things about menopause. No more periods and no worry sex!

51. When you fall down your knee always gets better after your Mom or Dad kisses it!

52. Leftover pizza is the breakfast of champions.

53. I may have gained some insight over the years but I have found that I still have the remarkable potential to screw things up!

AND FINALLY...DRUM ROLL PLEASE...#54

54. If you have an idea write it down because you won't remember it! I think I had some great wisdom to depart for this last one on my list but I didn't write it down and now for the life of me I can't remember it!

Thanks for sticking it out until the end! Hope some of it made you smile. Never doing this again. My brain hurts!







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