Seriously?

I could drink milk or OJ straight from the carton with the best of them if I drank either. I have taken off my clothes and left them in a heap by my bed like any man child, except I'm not a man. Dust does not scare me and neither do the dust bunnies hiding under my bed. They are actually very quiet. I miss the days when we had a platform bed and couldn't have bunnies.

Basically you get the picture. I was thankfully born when women were allowed to be more than the sum of their housework because otherwise I would have had to marry rich so I could pay someone to do it. Keeping this in mind you would then be pretty amused at my new mantra I keep repeating as I wander around the house doing whatever it is I'm doing.

Not a day goes by where you don't hear me mutter to myself "seriously?" It happens when I approach a sink full of dishes that has an empty dishwasher right next to it. It also happens when the dishwasher is full but not run. Sometimes the dishes are being run but the counter is clearly not wiped. There is of course my favorite "seriously" which is said above a stage whisper when the sponge is left in the sink all wet and not rinsed off. That goes for the small rag, well the small expensive microfiber cloth I use to clean the countertops. I love to find it in the sink not rinsed out and hung to dry. "SERIOUSLY?!" My all time fav however is that piece of paper that has fallen on the floor that no one picks up! I watch as they repeatedly walk by it. If I see it they have to see it. Then when I'm truly amazed that the paper is still there on the floor I mutter "seriously?" to no one in particular and then I pick it up.

So seriously folks, where did I go wrong? That's really the issue here. Granted, I'm not a neat freak. They sense that the way dogs sense fear. My brother in law and his kids would never do the aforementioned and I think I know why. My sister in law is a neat freak but that alone is not enough. I know many a neat freak who silently suffer as they clean other peoples messes. The missing element is fear. I did not properly instill fear in my clan. Now it's too late. Now it's just me yelling and them thinking "Yeah okay, get it out of your system and then you'll calm down and we can go back to normal!"

Oh the humanity! It's complicated as they say in Facebookese! Or rather I'm complicated. I hate cleaning. Yet ironically some things seem to bother me disproportionately. They say the first step is recognizing you have a problem. Oh wait... that's for bigger issues than this one! It may be too late for me but if you're just starting out remember to instill fear or be ready to pick up after people the rest of your life, Seriously!