I remember the first time someone called me ma'am. I wish I had had the presence of mind to look around as if to see who he was talking to but alas I knew it was me! Yeah, I just stood there and took it like the meek little old lady I must have somehow become.
As I walked away from that encounter I felt a storm of emotions starting to brew inside me. None of it based on logic but that's emotion for you. On the one hand I was hurt. I am nothing like a ma'am. I don't dress like one and I don't act like one. Stupid idiot, could he not see that? Then came fear. Oh my God I have become my mother! Actually that happened one day when I was yelling at my kids and I heard my mother's voice coming out of my mouth! Add to the mix a feeling of frustration. This wasn't fair. I wasn't ready. Pity the fool that I bumped into next. He probably didn't know what hit him. All those emotions have quite a force and they don't leave physical marks!
Sometimes being a ma'am has its privileges. You can tell the noisy teens hanging outside your window to shut the fuck up and never have to worry if they think you are cool or not. They don't, but yes you are cool. So not every guy turns to look when you walk by. Yes I know you look great. However the ones that do look at you will be looking a little deeper because they recognize that there is something underneath the surface. If by chance you are having a bad hair day blame it on your ma'amhood! Even in becoming a ma'am there is a silver lining!
I think the moral of the story is that sticks and stones may break my bones but words are just words.
Carol, I so enjoyed reading your posts, but this one really hit home. I find it increasingly hard to believe that I am now older than the age my Mother was when we were 14 year old teenagers! The first time I was called ma'am I too looked around to see who the young pimpled faced upstart was referring to!I really don't think or feel this old, and I will continue to fight it kicking and screaming. However, I do find that each day I wake up is a blessing, especially since I have been living with a chronic disease since I was 15.Pilates, yoga, the gym, they all help the body and mind, but oh boy, you're right, how can we stop those droopy jowls and tiny lines? Of course, heredity has alot to do with it. My Mom is 86 and still looks about 65. Both of us try to maintain a sense of humor and accept that we all have to face the aging process, and let's face it, the alternative is NOT an option! Keep blogging, you've inspired me to start my own writing again!As mature women it is good to share our common fears and thoughts
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your feedback. We really are all in this together! Good luck with your writing. Just do it!
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