YES MA'AM

I remember the first time someone called me ma'am. I wish I had had the presence of mind to look around as if to see who he was talking to but alas I knew it was me! Yeah, I just stood there and took it like the meek little old lady I must have somehow become.

As I walked away from that encounter I felt a storm of emotions starting to brew inside me. None of it based on logic but that's emotion for you. On the one hand I was hurt. I am nothing like a ma'am. I don't dress like one and I don't act like one. Stupid idiot, could he not see that? Then came fear. Oh my God I have become my mother! Actually that happened one day when I was yelling at my kids and I heard my mother's voice coming out of my mouth! Add to the mix a feeling of frustration. This wasn't fair. I wasn't ready. Pity the fool that I bumped into next. He probably didn't know what hit him. All those emotions have quite a force and they don't leave physical marks!

Sometimes being a ma'am has its privileges. You can tell the noisy teens hanging outside your window to shut the fuck up and never have to worry if they think you are cool or not. They don't, but yes you are cool. So not every guy turns to look when you walk by. Yes I know you look great. However the ones that do look at you will be looking a little deeper because they recognize that there is something underneath the surface. If by chance you are having a bad hair day blame it on your ma'amhood! Even in becoming a ma'am there is a silver lining!

I think the moral of the story is that sticks and stones may break my bones but words are just words.

GREY, WHITE OR COLOR?

Women color their hair for fun and to experiment. That is at least in the beginning. At some age, it varies, you are coloring your hair to cover the grey. In my case it's white. After years of doing it, covering the oh so obvious sign of age I have started to think about when is enough enough?

I recall working with a woman in her forties who didn't color her white hair. Well kind of didn't since she had champagne colored highlights. The effect was stunning not old. Unfortunately for me and my olive complexion white really just makes my skin color fade into pale nothingness.

No bragging here but my face looks younger than it's 53 years. Barely there smile lines. That's it! Before you start asking me what kind of moisturizer I use I think it boils down to two main factors. The first is genetics. Something you can't buy in a bottle. The other is the fact that I stopped smoking in my twenties. You think it does bad things to your lungs? It's even worse on your skin. Yeah, that's a bit of an exaggeration. This all leads to the big question, If I look young, dress young and act young why not keep coloring my hair?

The only anti color point I can make is that I am pretty low maintenance. Even using the ten minute L'Oreal hair color at times seems like a burden! My roots show more often than not. Truthfully if I let it go and went white I'd be putting some brown lowlights around my face to keep me from fading away! That upkeep isn't low maintenance. What's a girl to do?

As of writing this post I will be going out and buying hair color. I'm decidedly not ready to be a little old lady. I may never be ready but one day it will happen whether my hair is brown or white. I just hope I'm cute!