The Romance Quotient

Why do women need romance more than men? I am still not sure whether it's need or rather want but whatever it is it's more than men. Don't get me wrong. Men like romance and not just because it might lead to sex! What's not to like? Someone showing you that yeah, they really think you're all that is all good.

For me romance has nothing to do with candlelight or flowers. To each his own right? So what do I think is romantic? When you're both in the kitchen and he grabs you to slow dance with and it's not even" your song" playing. Buying you a silly nothing gift just because he thought of you. It could be a pair of socks! Well I really need to buy some socks so that's what came to mind. A note on Facebook in lieu of a loveletter. Love letters are a lost art. Holding hands when you're just watching TV. A kiss. I mean a slow last for days make you weak in the knees with his hands holding your face kind of a kiss.

Oh I could go on but you get it right? It's the unexpected and for no reason things that I find romantic. Anniversaries and birthdays are good for romance but if they are the only days then forget about it. Not romantic. It's why I don't get all excited about Valentines Day. Do people really like romance on cue?

Probably the most romantic thing is that moment when he looks at you and you know he's really seeing *you*. It's so nice to be seen. We always run the risk in a long term relationship of becoming really good roommates or friends with benefits as opposed to lovers. Don't let that happen even if it starts to feel as comfy as the ripped sweatpants we know you have. You deserve to have what I call Hollywood moments as much as any character in a movie. Life imitating art?

I don't know why women need/want romance more than men but I think they, or rather we, do. Now romance is a definite two way street. So go out there, and kiss him long and slow. You might be surprised at what you get in return.

YES MA'AM

I remember the first time someone called me ma'am. I wish I had had the presence of mind to look around as if to see who he was talking to but alas I knew it was me! Yeah, I just stood there and took it like the meek little old lady I must have somehow become.

As I walked away from that encounter I felt a storm of emotions starting to brew inside me. None of it based on logic but that's emotion for you. On the one hand I was hurt. I am nothing like a ma'am. I don't dress like one and I don't act like one. Stupid idiot, could he not see that? Then came fear. Oh my God I have become my mother! Actually that happened one day when I was yelling at my kids and I heard my mother's voice coming out of my mouth! Add to the mix a feeling of frustration. This wasn't fair. I wasn't ready. Pity the fool that I bumped into next. He probably didn't know what hit him. All those emotions have quite a force and they don't leave physical marks!

Sometimes being a ma'am has its privileges. You can tell the noisy teens hanging outside your window to shut the fuck up and never have to worry if they think you are cool or not. They don't, but yes you are cool. So not every guy turns to look when you walk by. Yes I know you look great. However the ones that do look at you will be looking a little deeper because they recognize that there is something underneath the surface. If by chance you are having a bad hair day blame it on your ma'amhood! Even in becoming a ma'am there is a silver lining!

I think the moral of the story is that sticks and stones may break my bones but words are just words.

GREY, WHITE OR COLOR?

Women color their hair for fun and to experiment. That is at least in the beginning. At some age, it varies, you are coloring your hair to cover the grey. In my case it's white. After years of doing it, covering the oh so obvious sign of age I have started to think about when is enough enough?

I recall working with a woman in her forties who didn't color her white hair. Well kind of didn't since she had champagne colored highlights. The effect was stunning not old. Unfortunately for me and my olive complexion white really just makes my skin color fade into pale nothingness.

No bragging here but my face looks younger than it's 53 years. Barely there smile lines. That's it! Before you start asking me what kind of moisturizer I use I think it boils down to two main factors. The first is genetics. Something you can't buy in a bottle. The other is the fact that I stopped smoking in my twenties. You think it does bad things to your lungs? It's even worse on your skin. Yeah, that's a bit of an exaggeration. This all leads to the big question, If I look young, dress young and act young why not keep coloring my hair?

The only anti color point I can make is that I am pretty low maintenance. Even using the ten minute L'Oreal hair color at times seems like a burden! My roots show more often than not. Truthfully if I let it go and went white I'd be putting some brown lowlights around my face to keep me from fading away! That upkeep isn't low maintenance. What's a girl to do?

As of writing this post I will be going out and buying hair color. I'm decidedly not ready to be a little old lady. I may never be ready but one day it will happen whether my hair is brown or white. I just hope I'm cute!

SHOW US YOUR FACE

Remember when Facebook was for college kids? Now, well, not so much. In fact women our age are the fastest growing group on Facebook. That's the last *Factoid* I will be offering because as far as Facebook goes screw the statistics and have some fun.

I joined Facebook a few years ago. It started out as a networking thing. That in itself was fun. I joined different groups and got my name out there. I must confess that I am guilty of participation in Super Poke and Buy a Friend A Drink. Those days are thankfully over and with pride I can say that I don't farm or need any soldiers. For the yet uninitiated I am referring to Farmville and Mafia Wars. Two examples that prove you can get people to do almost anything. Right now I am more of a Facebook curmudgeon. Don't send me smiles, hugs or blessings. I'm going to ignore them. There, I said it. Now I have closure and can move on to the topic at hand.

I can't pinpoint exactly when it started but like dominoes, one after another I started reconnecting with my Elementary and Junior High School friends. Its been a blast. I am friends again with my first real best friend thanks to Facebook.Honestly, I never realized that I missed them until I started finding them again. With each new find we would giggle and shriek in a virtual little girl kind of way.

One of the things I like best is being the me I became over the years around these guys.. Part of me is still the 11, 12, 13 and 14 year old they knew. Now she just doesn't care as much about fitting in! My status updates on Facebook are my pride and joy. If they aren't funny I go without. So many of the old gang have told me how funny I am, like in a "who knew" kinda way. It happens when you shed your adolescent protective shell. Its a good thing about aging.

In a a purely anthropological way I have discovered that the nerds definitely inherited the earth. I like to see all the things the nerdy kids have accomplished although it is mixed with a wee bit of jealousy. Many of my old friends became teachers. The less nerdy ones. Not sure why. One of my old friends is openly gay, married to his partner and they have kids. Considering there was no Gay Pride when we grew up I think that's pretty cool. Another one of the guys, sweet, slightly geeky and on the small side shocked me when I saw a post high school picture of him. Six pack abs! I know because I counted! All I could tell myself was "What was I thinking!"

The dirty side of this Facebook thing is that while sitting in the safety of your own home you get to be judge and jury. Who looks good for their age and how is it they have no sagging or wrinkles. Even better, who didn't age well. Whose looks improved with age and who looks nothing like their younger selves. I can just hear myself thinking "hmm she gained a little weight." On occasion being bitchy is fun but its not the main reason to join Facebook.

The best reason to join Facebook is time travel. When talking with our old friends we might find ourselves back in the 60's in our fishnet stockings and go go boots dancing on the furniture in my room as if we were on Shindig or Hullabaloo! Wait, how did we all get into my room? Dance in my room we did, Go join Facebook if you aren't there already. There's nothing like feeling 16 again and without all the angst.

Social media rocks!

YOUR INSTRUCTION MANUAL

Right off the bat I need to tell anyone with the word teen as part of their age: STOP READING! Go, be arrogantly young! Revel in your youth. Come back here when you're done. Hopefully I'll still be here!

If you are anywhere between twenty and forty something stay right here! Why you? You are still pretty young, yeah I get that. Read this blog so that if you're lucky enough to get here you'll come prepared. Knowledge is power.

So lets say you've hit the big five-o and Dano's not around to book 'em, this blog's for you! Sister we gotta talk! Okay so I'll be the one doing the talking. Anything and everything and occasionally in a Seinfeldian way I'll be talking about nothing in particular.

So now you know. Instruction completed.