Sex In The Menopausal City

Recently I exposed myself. Get your mind out of the gutter people...although this post is about sex. Okay then, minds back in the gutter but what I meant was not what you think. Said exposure was by letting my friends in on my blog. One of my friends said we need a TV show that is kind of like Sex in the City meets For Women My Age. Then yet another friend decided laughingly that it should be called Sex and the City...The Menopausal Years! So now you know how I got from point A to point B!

I know nothing about what sex is like for other women my age, at least not in any scientific I can prove it kind of way. I know about myself and I know what I think it should be like for women my age. There were a lot of factors that got us to this sexual point in time.

When we were younger and just starting out we had hot bodies but few of us really knew how to use them to the fullest extent. Ah ,youth is wasted on the young! Then we matured and with our hot bodies still intact we reached our sexual prime which hopefully also meant we learned how to use what God gave us. Then for a vast majority including myself came the child bearing/ child rearing years. If anything can put a damper on your sex life it's kids which ironically is how you get kids in the first place! I for one spent the vast majority of those years when my kids were itty bitty in a chronically tired haze. No naps unless the kids napped which even then meant sleeping with one eye open just in case! For me the second sexual revolution came when my kids were old enough to get up on a Saturday morning, get some cereal and turn on the TV by themselves! As revolutions go it was a small one. I was indeed less tired which was an improvement. Just ask my husband! However spontaneity was gone. Like a total eclipse it was a rare event that happened when the stars aligned and both my kids had a sleepover on the same night! As long as the kids were still living at home it got worse the older they got not better. Older kids go to sleep later and later. I know you see where I'm going with this. Older kids also know things. So being quiet is essential.

I know there are women who did not marry or did not have kids. Their story will be vastly different. I'm not ignoring them but I leave it to one of them to blog about it since it would be foreign territory for me.

So now the kids are out of the house. Lets assume you still love the guy you married and want to have sex. This is where I think God screwed up. Menopause changes your body in ways we don't always like. Well at least you don't have to worry about an unwanted pregnancy, I'll give God that! Even men don't have a total advantage when it comes to sex and the aging process. One word. Viagra. So what does all of this have to do with God? I think he got some things backwards. I think that if you have raised your kids well and in general lived a good life your reward should be the hot sex life you had when you were starting out!

Since God missed the boat on that one its up to us to make it happen. Short of sounding like Dr Ruth Westheimer, I say go get laid with abandon! You earned it! Try something new or improve on the old. Leave your inhibition behind. We all know by now. that life is too short. Let the next sexual revolution begin!

ANYONE HOME?

Nope. Just me and my old man here. The nest is empty. The chicks have flown the coup. What to do, what to do? Everything that's what! Have sex in the middle of the day anywhere in the house. Play *your* music loud and don't forget to dance!

I love my kids. We have a blast when they come around. I didn't push them out of the nest but when they left of their own accord to start their lives I got mine back! From the day they are born till the day they go off to college and parts unknown your identity is locked in as being someones mother. For 24/7 that is who you are. No its not all of who you are but it is the biggest part.

Yes I know you are still Mom even though they aren't physically there. You worry about them and think about them which is going to happen until we die. Who knows, maybe after that too! What you won't be doing is all the mundane stuff that sucks the life out of you! No more chauffeuring. No more sweating out the answer to 'What's for dinner?" No more cleaning up after and best of all no more nagging about cleaning or any other chore left undone. Woohoo! So what happens with all this extra energy?

Shortly after mine moved out I found myself blasting some Motown and dancing. Midway I realized something. No one was asking me "WHAT are you listening to and WHAT are you doing?" You know I hadn't really danced just for the fun of it in twenty something years! When I realized this I kept dancing and I felt joyous! What was happening here? What was happening was simply me rediscovering who I am. Lucky for me I like this person who has been somewhat dormant. Even writing this blog is about being who I am and who I want to be. I love to dance and I love to write.

There is an old joke about a priest, a minister and a rabbi who are discussing when life begins. The priest of course says it begins at the moment of conception. The minister says it begins when the child is born. The rabbi thinks for a moment and says "Life begins when the kids go to college and the dog dies!" I really did LOL when I heard that joke. I still have the dog whom I love but I understood what the rabbi meant.

With the kids gone its finally your turn. Go for it. Dance! Write! Go back to school! Play an instrument! There's a whole world out there waiting for you. Yes you, you remember that person don't you? Now go be her. Me? I have to go blast some Hendrix and play a little air guitar.
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