Out of the Blue

I watched Modern Family last night, the Halloween episode. Let the "behind the times" jokes fly. I know it's almost December. So after I was done laughing my ass off, which I always do when watching that show, and oh how I wish that was not just a figure of speech don't you? Wait! Where was I going with that run away sentence? Ah yes, Phil, possibly my favorite character on the show finds out about his neighbors divorce. It's not a case of a cheating spouse. It is however the thing that Phil most fears. The dreaded "out of the blue, I didn't see it coming" reason for divorce.

It's pretty obvious that people don't get divorced out of the blue. It is possible that one of the spouses didn't see it coming. The thing is they only see it in retrospect. What Happened to them? They became *that couple* and one of them woke up and said I don't wanna be *that couple* any more. I want more.

Here's what I mean by *that couple* and it's in no particular order. Just the peculiar order my brain spits things out! No PDA. Not even in the privacy of their own home. Kisses? Not deep wet kisses that last for days but always little pecks. No one is constantly making out but people that still got it for each other don't just peck! So the sex well, it isn't really happening. I can't say how much is the right amount. I can only say that *that couple* is having less of it then they should and its not all that good although no one actually says it out loud.

I put the cart in front of the horse! It doesn't start with the physical. It usually starts with all the other stuff. It isn't that you are at each others throat. That would indicate some kind of passion. It's that you are like good roommates. You read your books in bed before going to sleep but then when the lights go out you both turn to face in different directions. Where you once talked about all your hopes and dreams you now make small talk. You look like a couple on the outside but there's a lot of empty inside.

All of this leads to something that is the worst part of I didn't see it coming. As a woman I view emotional cheating as the worst kind of cheating. I have friends with whom I can say anything. Hopefully we all do. It needs to be my partner however that I share it all with. Make that all with a capital A L L. The sharing of it all needs to go both ways. When the sharing stops it has to go somewhere. We are by nature creatures that need to share. It would just hurt so much if he wasn't sharing with me. If someone else was the one he went to for that. Even if it's another guy friend. It's still not me! Of course if it's a woman, then we have "the other woman" and there is really room for only one woman in my relationship. Now if you are a guy reading this just reverse everything I just said!

I have *that couple* fear sometimes. I think it's why I can describe it so well. I've been married a long time and it's at this point that a lot of couples can start to sleepwalk until they bump into the thing they didn't see coming. Thankfully my fear is as of yet unfounded. Just when I think maybe we are becoming *them* he does something that surprises me. So go and surprise your partner. If not, you risk being Phil's divorced neighbor on Modern Family or worse, his unhappily married neighbor!