It's Not Rocket Science

Are men from Mars and if so are they taught to bullshit there? Oh women bullshit too but there is one thing that men bullshit about way more than women. No, it's not cheating! Everyone will lie about cheating if their backs are to the wall. I can't speak to the statists of which sex cheats more and frankly I don't care to speak to statistics period. They are just so manipulative! What I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt is that men are the almost exclusive users of the following line in one form or other.

"You know me, I'm not a romantic."

"I don't do romance."

"I don't know how to be romantic."

I could go on but it would just get me pissed off. It's a lazy ass lie. Sometimes guys use it to cover up in case their efforts are deemed not good enough but the rest of you? Seriously? Why not just admit the truth? You are either taking someone for granted or you're just not that into her.

Here's why I'm not buying the "I'm not a romantic" line. It's not always about the grand gesture, however, if the moment calls for it, you would have had to be living under a rock not to see how it is done. Are there not enough movies or TV shows out there? You tube is filled with great examples. If you don't need visible instruction then look at facebook or twitter. Its out there. But then, you (guys) knew that.

Then there is romance where a Hollywood moment isn't needed. Ironcally those little moments can be more powerful than the fully orchestrated kind. Can you buy her a present out of the blue? Just a little something like her favorite candy bar. Can you hold her hand while you're just watching TV? Can you tell her she is beautiful? "You look "nice" doesn't cut it. In fact the word "nice" shouldn't even be part of your vocabulary if she is the one. Can you call her for no reason? Can you brag about her? Whether it's her painting or her total geekness with computers? Of course the key is that she somehow overhears it! In short, can you just man up?

Someone once told me"I'm not much of a romantic and you know that." Then he wrote me a love letter. He went out of his comfort zone and he told me how he felt. He was *that into me.*

Romance is not the remedy for screwing up. Not screwing up again is what you need to do! Romance is a thing you do 365 days not just on Valentines Day or birthdays and anniversaries. Romance isn't hard. In fact when you really love someone it's like breathing. You do it without thinking and you do it all the time.

The Romance Quotient

Why do women need romance more than men? I am still not sure whether it's need or rather want but whatever it is it's more than men. Don't get me wrong. Men like romance and not just because it might lead to sex! What's not to like? Someone showing you that yeah, they really think you're all that is all good.

For me romance has nothing to do with candlelight or flowers. To each his own right? So what do I think is romantic? When you're both in the kitchen and he grabs you to slow dance with and it's not even" your song" playing. Buying you a silly nothing gift just because he thought of you. It could be a pair of socks! Well I really need to buy some socks so that's what came to mind. A note on Facebook in lieu of a loveletter. Love letters are a lost art. Holding hands when you're just watching TV. A kiss. I mean a slow last for days make you weak in the knees with his hands holding your face kind of a kiss.

Oh I could go on but you get it right? It's the unexpected and for no reason things that I find romantic. Anniversaries and birthdays are good for romance but if they are the only days then forget about it. Not romantic. It's why I don't get all excited about Valentines Day. Do people really like romance on cue?

Probably the most romantic thing is that moment when he looks at you and you know he's really seeing *you*. It's so nice to be seen. We always run the risk in a long term relationship of becoming really good roommates or friends with benefits as opposed to lovers. Don't let that happen even if it starts to feel as comfy as the ripped sweatpants we know you have. You deserve to have what I call Hollywood moments as much as any character in a movie. Life imitating art?

I don't know why women need/want romance more than men but I think they, or rather we, do. Now romance is a definite two way street. So go out there, and kiss him long and slow. You might be surprised at what you get in return.