Dead Line

Damn are we awkward when we come face to face with death. Even face to facebook status we can't seem to figure out what to say. The big winner for most used is "Sorry for your loss." Honorable mention goes to "thinking of you at this difficult time." As I scrolled down and read comment after comment like this I almost got a little whiplash as I did a double take. I had to make sure it was us and not our parents commenting.

Well I knew it wasn't my parent's commenting because they have passed on, passed away, are no longer with us or maybe they're just plain lost as people keep talking about this loss I have had. The worst part is that the person going through all this has to not only deal with the death of someone close to them but they have to put up with all the well intentioned people and the comfort they are trying to sell to the grieving. We can do better than this.

We're at an age were death has effected us, we know people that have died. None of us are getting off scot free here. Some will have more than their fair share but we all have a share in it. So how is it that while we all know what it's like we still can't find an honest way of expressing ourselves?

My father died fourteen years ago. My mother died four years later. At the time I was (and still am ) a grown woman with a family of my own. So how was it that I felt, well, like an orphan. It was like all of a sudden there was no one above me, protecting me. It wasn't a logical feeling. My parents were elderly and retired. I'm not sure exactly what kind of protection they could have offered. Yet there I was feeling very small. Feeling very small with a scraped knee and no one to kiss it and make it all better!

So that's what I used to comfort my friend whose mother had just passed away. I told him with a hug that no matter how old we get these are the moments that make us feel like we are still just little kids. Don't hide behind a conventionally accepted, society approved statement if you truly want to reach out to someone. Share. If words fail you then don't use them. A hug can be worth a thousand words (and no one will accuse you of plagiarizing! ). Now here's to hoping you'll never need to use this advice...much.