On Writing

I thought I had writers block but it turns out what I have is the flu! In my delirium I have stolen from a great writer Steven King. You see he wrote a great book on writing which he called...you guessed it ,On Writing! So, what of putting words on a page?

When I thought I had writers block I did a foolish thing. I put a request on my facebook page. I thought if only I had a topic I'd be golden. Wrong! The first response I got for a topic was Herring! Was that a challenge from a fellow writer or a fellow writer not taking my agony seriously? Or does she simply love a little herring in sour cream sauce? Does it really matter in light of my illness and the worry you must all be going through? Nah!

Another response was from an old friend who thought I should write about the sobering effect of living with my comedian husband. Or was it staying sober while having to live with my husband? I can't remember but I sure could go for a glass of wine right now!

Then it was the turn of a friend from my elementary school and Junior High School years. That's the beauty of facebook, old friends hanging out in cyberspace. He thought I should talk about the art of conversation. Is it a lost art? I write better than I speak so I naturally jumped from there to the art of writing, as in the lost art of writing a letter, more specifically a love letter. Great topic but I'm not feeling the love since my body has become party central for some of the nastiest germs I have ever had the displeasure of meeting.

Last but never least a friend reminded me about my backpacking through Europe free spirit days. Could I tell some tales? Fun times they were if not exactly Eat Pray Love! This blog is all about the now so I'd have to find the right hook to bring it back to now where I no longer want to backpack. I want 5 star hotels where I can look out from my balcony at all those backpackers down below and think smugly " I may not be as young as you but I have a hot shower!"

So here's the thing about writing, if you are left staring at a blank page don't panic, it might just be the flu!

Dead Line

Damn are we awkward when we come face to face with death. Even face to facebook status we can't seem to figure out what to say. The big winner for most used is "Sorry for your loss." Honorable mention goes to "thinking of you at this difficult time." As I scrolled down and read comment after comment like this I almost got a little whiplash as I did a double take. I had to make sure it was us and not our parents commenting.

Well I knew it wasn't my parent's commenting because they have passed on, passed away, are no longer with us or maybe they're just plain lost as people keep talking about this loss I have had. The worst part is that the person going through all this has to not only deal with the death of someone close to them but they have to put up with all the well intentioned people and the comfort they are trying to sell to the grieving. We can do better than this.

We're at an age were death has effected us, we know people that have died. None of us are getting off scot free here. Some will have more than their fair share but we all have a share in it. So how is it that while we all know what it's like we still can't find an honest way of expressing ourselves?

My father died fourteen years ago. My mother died four years later. At the time I was (and still am ) a grown woman with a family of my own. So how was it that I felt, well, like an orphan. It was like all of a sudden there was no one above me, protecting me. It wasn't a logical feeling. My parents were elderly and retired. I'm not sure exactly what kind of protection they could have offered. Yet there I was feeling very small. Feeling very small with a scraped knee and no one to kiss it and make it all better!

So that's what I used to comfort my friend whose mother had just passed away. I told him with a hug that no matter how old we get these are the moments that make us feel like we are still just little kids. Don't hide behind a conventionally accepted, society approved statement if you truly want to reach out to someone. Share. If words fail you then don't use them. A hug can be worth a thousand words (and no one will accuse you of plagiarizing! ). Now here's to hoping you'll never need to use this advice...much.

Golden Globes Eclipse

I love award shows. It has nothing to do with the awards themselves. Yes, there are artists that I would love to see win and get the recognition they deserve but I like who I like and the award won't change that. Watching an award show is really all about "the dish". We can sit on our sofas watching stars parade around while we get to "dish" on everything they do and say. It's a blood sport. The only question is if this sport is only for the young?

The circle of life in Hollywood differs from real life because in Hollywood the stages of life are the very young, the young and the not so young. Then you pretty much fade out, end of script. Too bad really. I love fashion although you wouldn't get that by looking in my closet lately. I love seeing fabulous women dressed to the nines or even tens! There is no doubt that the young do this fabulously and they should rightfully relish it. Oh and they should take pictures so that they can pull them out to show people just how spectacular they really were. I personally have a picture of myself in a bikini that is just so fabulous it belongs in a museum. The Smithsonian perhaps?

So who speaks for some of the gorgeous older women of Hollywood? Or rather, who speaks about them? I never thought I'd see the day when no one cared what Michelle Pfeiffer wore. But that day has arrived. How about Jane Fonda? An old broad who still looks good. What got me thinking and then writing was Annette Benning. She won and no one really talked about her fashion sense! Sheesh, what's a gal gotta do to get some attention? What of her over the top punked up tresses, the in your face black framed glasses or the great body under that shimmery black gown? Not even a footnote? Really? Hey I mean *REALLY*?

I get that each year brings a new crop to Hollywood and to make room for them someones going to get pushed out of the way. This is me pushing back!

The Romance Quotient

Why do women need romance more than men? I am still not sure whether it's need or rather want but whatever it is it's more than men. Don't get me wrong. Men like romance and not just because it might lead to sex! What's not to like? Someone showing you that yeah, they really think you're all that is all good.

For me romance has nothing to do with candlelight or flowers. To each his own right? So what do I think is romantic? When you're both in the kitchen and he grabs you to slow dance with and it's not even" your song" playing. Buying you a silly nothing gift just because he thought of you. It could be a pair of socks! Well I really need to buy some socks so that's what came to mind. A note on Facebook in lieu of a loveletter. Love letters are a lost art. Holding hands when you're just watching TV. A kiss. I mean a slow last for days make you weak in the knees with his hands holding your face kind of a kiss.

Oh I could go on but you get it right? It's the unexpected and for no reason things that I find romantic. Anniversaries and birthdays are good for romance but if they are the only days then forget about it. Not romantic. It's why I don't get all excited about Valentines Day. Do people really like romance on cue?

Probably the most romantic thing is that moment when he looks at you and you know he's really seeing *you*. It's so nice to be seen. We always run the risk in a long term relationship of becoming really good roommates or friends with benefits as opposed to lovers. Don't let that happen even if it starts to feel as comfy as the ripped sweatpants we know you have. You deserve to have what I call Hollywood moments as much as any character in a movie. Life imitating art?

I don't know why women need/want romance more than men but I think they, or rather we, do. Now romance is a definite two way street. So go out there, and kiss him long and slow. You might be surprised at what you get in return.

The Lipstick Gang

As you all know I'm a big fan of the Twitter. Oh, I know it's not *the* twitter. I say that only to annoy smug, very hip barely twenty year olds! Somebody's got to do it and I obviously can't trust you guys! Do you see how easily I digress?

Someone described Facebook as your home because you let in people that you know and Twitter as the street which is open to everybody! Sometimes you need to get out of your house. Interesting shit is happening in the street! For instance, I now have the answer to a question that cosmetic companies have been asking well, since there were cosmetics! The question is simply, "can the right shade of lipstick solve life's little problems?" I found the answer on twitter.

I don't know the when and I'm not sure of who did it first, but one of my twitter followers tweeted the shade of lipstick she was wearing. Then another one did the same. Inspired by these two women who I know to have a high creative/fabulous quotient, I too joined in and tweeted about my lips as only I could. I was at the time wearing Blistex Lip Relief Cream! Their response was immediate. They would have to take me shopping! I redeemed myself by then wearing Nude Lustre and Pink Gloss but I also went with naked lips, the poor things! Somewhere in the midst of our tweets I added the hashtag #lipstickgang and put a name to our endeavor.

Then came my question to the members of the gang "Can the right shade of lipstick solve life's little problems? " Cosmetic companies have been trying to sell us on that idea so they would answer "Yes Yes Yes!". We know better. It really won't make you thinner or that hot guy like you. It won't get you a better paying job either. But wait, don't give up hope!

Talking about our lipstick choices gave us a certain amount of camaraderie and that can get you through almost anything. It also encouraged creativity. You don't just wear Oxford Street without dressing like a Brit. Nude Lustre is of course when you're in a bare bones kind of mood. Pink can be adventurous or sweet depending on the wearer. Red is, well I don't need to spell it out for you, do I? We don't just talk about the color but we define it or rather we are defining who we are that day. We define our day before it defines us and let's face it, most of us are always letting outside sources define our day. At least this is an outside source of your choosing. Mostly though, it's about some wonderful women who are cheering you on. "You go girl!" Be sexy or fun loving or serious and be fabulous at it! Lipstick in a shade of Girl Power! That's really the essence of our gang.

Look in the mirror and decide something about your day. Then color it in but please stay within the lines! So pucker up ladies and choose your color!

The Wonder Years List

For me the Wonder Years start around the 6th grade and go on to High School. Basically the preteen years to full fledged teenhood. These are the years where everything is out of control. You have to live by school rules and your parents rules and you aren't sure why anymore. Yet you can see a future where anything is possible just out of your reach. I started thinking of things from that era in my life and of course it caused me to jump from one thing to another in a series of "oh remember" moments that made me smile at my younger self.

FASHION-
Saddle shoes- when everything old became new again. They made a comeback back in the day!
Fishnet stockings and windowpane stockings-Thank God I had skinny legs back then!
Gogo boots-What to wear while watching Shindig,Hullabaloo and of course American Bandstand! You can't do The Pony without them
Construction Worker boots-Not sure how we got from there to here but we did!
CPO jackets-might have been a NYC thing
Bell Bottoms- Once upon a time they were new! I got my first pair in Greenish Village at a store owned by Davy Jones of the Monkeee's fame. After that I got them at Joe's Army Navy where we took them home and tapered them!
Hip Huggers- low cut jeans without the ass crack showing!
Dr Scholl's Exercise Sandals- doesn't everyone want curvy calves.
Earth Shoes- Cute and chunky. They were Birkenstocks before there was Birkenstocks!

BEAUTY
Yardley- I loved those little circles of eyeshadow. Remember when you could wear blue eyeshadow and get away with it!
Clairol's Herbal Essence Shampoo- no not the one sitting on the shelves today with the S at the end (Herbal EssenceS) That's a remake. I'm talking about the little dark green bottle( rather the shampoo was dark green) that smelled like a forest and flowers. You could actually smell it on your hair after you washed it. Move over Breck girl! Perfect for your long straight hair parted down the middle!
Love's Baby Soft- smells like teen (girl) spirit! After that we moved up in the world to Charlie! Guys were wearing English Leather and probably too much of it!

MISCELLANEOUS
Which did you like better 16 or Tiger Beat for the best pictures of David Cassidy?
Sealing Wax-Once upon a time we had to write letters and so you needed pretty stationary and a seal to keep out the nosey buddies!
Gidget- She grew up to become Nora Walker but she will always be Gidget tp me! "Not short and not a midget..a Gidget!" I wanted to be her! I still do!

I was so young when the Kennedy assassination occurred. I remember being upset that TV shows were cancelled. It was all news all the time. Now we get news instantly. There's hardly any time to separate fact from fiction and everyone has an opinion before the dust even settles.I think people are probably more informed, I'm just not sure they are better informed.

We were lucky in that we could be in awe of things. Any space flight was a cause to stop what you were doing to watch the countdown and take off. People clapped as if they had just watched a great drama. Well actually they had!

No this isn't a definitive list. I never do anything definitively! It's just the ramblings of my mind when it's in a nostalgic mood. It all started when I had an urge for a candy lipstick! Penny candy at it's finest! Now that I think of it this could all be the result of low blood sugar!

If You Had A Gazillion Dollars

What would you do? Forget the usual charitable works and helping your family. I mean I think you should do both but lets think outside of the box. What are the crazy things you might do?

I had a friend who always said if she won the lotto instead of calling in sick she would call in rich! I of course had a more devilish plan. I would tell no one at first and wait for the inevitable moment my supervisor acted like an ass and then I would smile and tell her to fuck off! It isn't a wonder why the forces in the universe never gave me a winning ticket!

In my defense I would also do good in a fun way. Have you ever been at the mall and seen a teenage girl longing for an outfit that she can't afford? I would pay for it anonymously. In fact I could randomly pay for the next 20 customers. How's that for having a nice day! I could go to the electric company and pay the bills for families I will never meet who are in need. When you have a gaziliion dollars you can pretty much just look around you to find people in need. I get the personal fun of doing it and they get the reward. If I was in New York I'd pay for everyone's subway ticket during the morning rush hour. Hey I've got a gazillion dollars! The best part is that people wouldn't know where or when I would strike! They couldn't because they would never know it was me!

There are some less altruistic things I would do. You can bet that I will be having a dinner with the members of every Chicago Bulls championship team. Michael on my right and Scottie sitting to my left! I also want to be a judge on American Idol. I hope the new judges work out but in my season I would bring back all the old ones!

I can't leave my husband out of this so he would get to dine with any one of his favorite authors such as Chuck Pahlaniuk or some variation on the spelling of his unusual name. The latest Macbook goes without saying, yes?

So that's how I'm starting off this new blogging year, with a gazillion dollars and a wild imagination!