This year I decided to make it easier for you. I'm going to tell you what you should be doing in the coming year. Call it a resolution if you must. I call it good advice at rock bottom prices. Everything's for free and there is no small print. Since I'm giving it away I thought I should keep it simple. Two categories. One for the body and one for the mind. Hey, what do you want? It's free!
Use your body. That's it. How you use it is up to you. I like to dance and we all know what dancing can lead to! Do yoga, run, skip, aerobics, weights or whatever the latest fad might be in the new year. It's not about losing weight or firming up. It's about feeling good. Watch little kids at play and you'll get the idea. The look of sheer joy on their faces as they simply run around without any real point to it. The older we get the less we use our bodies and the less we use them the older we feel. Use your body!
Do something that scares you just a little bit. Challenge authority. Following people is for twitter not for your life. I probably should have been shot for that one but you get what you pay for people! Do something unexpected. That little adrenalin rush makes it all worth while. That and the look on peoples faces! It's bunjee jumping for your soul!
There are 365 brand new days just waiting for you to use them!
Monday, December 27, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Have A Nice Day
I am in search of an alternative. We all say it and on some level we mean it. Why wouldn't we want someone to have a nice day or evening or week or weekend? Yet when someone who really does care about me says it, it's like fingernails on the proverbial blackboard that is my brain.
I know I know. They just want me to have a nice day which is really nice of them. Would I want my husband to drop " I love you" every time I walk out the door to go to work? No. It would become as meaningless as anything else we say routinely. Besides I prefer love be shown as well as spoken.
I don't think there is any one great alternative. I think if it's someone you care about then you should maybe give it a personal spin. If work is sucking then you can tell me "Don't let the bastards get u down" as I walk out the door. It means you know what's going on in my life. How about "I can't wait till we get back home tonight." It's nice to know someone is looking forward to seeing me. Some days I might like "Don't forget to have fun!" Those are the days I go to work as if I am walking the long green mile!
I guess all my mini rant is saying is pay attention people! Don't talk to people you care about like you're one of the pod people. This goes for me too! So thanks for listening and have a nice day!
I know I know. They just want me to have a nice day which is really nice of them. Would I want my husband to drop " I love you" every time I walk out the door to go to work? No. It would become as meaningless as anything else we say routinely. Besides I prefer love be shown as well as spoken.
I don't think there is any one great alternative. I think if it's someone you care about then you should maybe give it a personal spin. If work is sucking then you can tell me "Don't let the bastards get u down" as I walk out the door. It means you know what's going on in my life. How about "I can't wait till we get back home tonight." It's nice to know someone is looking forward to seeing me. Some days I might like "Don't forget to have fun!" Those are the days I go to work as if I am walking the long green mile!
I guess all my mini rant is saying is pay attention people! Don't talk to people you care about like you're one of the pod people. This goes for me too! So thanks for listening and have a nice day!
Monday, December 13, 2010
And Then There Was Me
Everyone and their mother is on Facebook. Facebook is not the end all of social media. Some of you are now rolling your eyes thinking to yourself "Tell me something I don't know!" Others are like " What? There's more? We can't keep up!" And then there are the rest of you who are thinking "get to the topic already!" Of course, the group known as "the rest of you" would be right.
My involvement in social media has put me face to face with other social mediaites. I now know IRL (in real life) so many of the people I initially knew only virtually. It's fun. Recently at a tweetup, I was talking to someone whom I hadn't met before but "knew"from twitter. We were chatting off to the side and she asked me "How does it feel being with all these people who are so much younger than you?" She was in the vicinity of my age. Could have been more, could have been less. I didn't ask her out right because I wasn't sure if age was a "thing" for her. But it was a good question.
Most of the people at the tweetup were in their thirties. Some, gasp, were in their twenties! And then there's me1 Well me and this other person. It's kind of interesting. Everyone knows my age. Well no one has ever asked me but they know I have grown up kids. Now there's an oxymoron for you, grownup kids! They know I relish the fact that I have my freedom back! I tend to make note of it when the talk turns to the travails of raising young kids. It was fun while it lasted but hallelujah and praise the Lord, I am done with that! I'm pretty sure they're all bright enough to do the math!
So I guess it doesn't really feel like anything. I never thought about it before she asked. I'm okay with being the elder statesman. After all, rank has it's privileges! Hey, sometimes I like to sit at the kids table! Don't let age stop you from having fun. Leave it to other people to worry about it!
My involvement in social media has put me face to face with other social mediaites. I now know IRL (in real life) so many of the people I initially knew only virtually. It's fun. Recently at a tweetup, I was talking to someone whom I hadn't met before but "knew"from twitter. We were chatting off to the side and she asked me "How does it feel being with all these people who are so much younger than you?" She was in the vicinity of my age. Could have been more, could have been less. I didn't ask her out right because I wasn't sure if age was a "thing" for her. But it was a good question.
Most of the people at the tweetup were in their thirties. Some, gasp, were in their twenties! And then there's me1 Well me and this other person. It's kind of interesting. Everyone knows my age. Well no one has ever asked me but they know I have grown up kids. Now there's an oxymoron for you, grownup kids! They know I relish the fact that I have my freedom back! I tend to make note of it when the talk turns to the travails of raising young kids. It was fun while it lasted but hallelujah and praise the Lord, I am done with that! I'm pretty sure they're all bright enough to do the math!
So I guess it doesn't really feel like anything. I never thought about it before she asked. I'm okay with being the elder statesman. After all, rank has it's privileges! Hey, sometimes I like to sit at the kids table! Don't let age stop you from having fun. Leave it to other people to worry about it!
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Retrosapien?
Your closet is giving away your age. It really has nothing to do with the lack of micro minis or thigh high boots. It's not even a strictly female thing.
I literally had nothing to wear. It has come after years of subconsciously thinking that I am a monk. I don't really need anything. It's from the "everyone comes before me" phase of motherhood. That phase is over. I would still put the kids first if they needed me but I pass the torch of martyrdom to the new young moms.So now here I am with places to go and nothing to wear.
So I went shopping. As I started to look at want I want and what I need I noticed a few things. I gravitate instinctively to certain items of clothing. I do the same with my jewelry. I have every variation on the hoop earring. Anything else gets shoved to the back and ignored. It screams sixties/early seventies. Then there is the shirt I had to have. Initially when I saw it they didn't have it in my size. Ah but I was able to snatch one up at a later date. The shirt? It had a peace symbol on it made up of the prettiest teeny tiny flowers! Then there are the jeans. Straight leg and of course bell bottoms. I will be a little old lady and still be wearing them. I also have a pair of baggy overalls. I did have a pair of painters pants that disintegrated over time. You think I won't hit up a Wal-Mart for a new pair?
In my most recent shopping trip which was yesterday and so I can still remember it, I bought a sweater. Really pretty. It had a southwestern design on it. Last summer my favorite shirt was a variation on the peasant shirts of my youth. I want Frye boots this winter. I would buy a pair of construction worker boots if I could. Flannel you say? I honed in on a great plaid flannel fitted shirt. It's like radar.
I never wore those really pointy toed boots. In fact there have been years that have been like a fashion drought for me! I just never knew why. I dress like my generation. It may not be in your face hippie chic but it's definitely a big part of my wardrobe and I'm good with that. I thank God for retro and that I didn't grow up in the eighties!
I literally had nothing to wear. It has come after years of subconsciously thinking that I am a monk. I don't really need anything. It's from the "everyone comes before me" phase of motherhood. That phase is over. I would still put the kids first if they needed me but I pass the torch of martyrdom to the new young moms.So now here I am with places to go and nothing to wear.
So I went shopping. As I started to look at want I want and what I need I noticed a few things. I gravitate instinctively to certain items of clothing. I do the same with my jewelry. I have every variation on the hoop earring. Anything else gets shoved to the back and ignored. It screams sixties/early seventies. Then there is the shirt I had to have. Initially when I saw it they didn't have it in my size. Ah but I was able to snatch one up at a later date. The shirt? It had a peace symbol on it made up of the prettiest teeny tiny flowers! Then there are the jeans. Straight leg and of course bell bottoms. I will be a little old lady and still be wearing them. I also have a pair of baggy overalls. I did have a pair of painters pants that disintegrated over time. You think I won't hit up a Wal-Mart for a new pair?
In my most recent shopping trip which was yesterday and so I can still remember it, I bought a sweater. Really pretty. It had a southwestern design on it. Last summer my favorite shirt was a variation on the peasant shirts of my youth. I want Frye boots this winter. I would buy a pair of construction worker boots if I could. Flannel you say? I honed in on a great plaid flannel fitted shirt. It's like radar.
I never wore those really pointy toed boots. In fact there have been years that have been like a fashion drought for me! I just never knew why. I dress like my generation. It may not be in your face hippie chic but it's definitely a big part of my wardrobe and I'm good with that. I thank God for retro and that I didn't grow up in the eighties!
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Out of the Blue
I watched Modern Family last night, the Halloween episode. Let the "behind the times" jokes fly. I know it's almost December. So after I was done laughing my ass off, which I always do when watching that show, and oh how I wish that was not just a figure of speech don't you? Wait! Where was I going with that run away sentence? Ah yes, Phil, possibly my favorite character on the show finds out about his neighbors divorce. It's not a case of a cheating spouse. It is however the thing that Phil most fears. The dreaded "out of the blue, I didn't see it coming" reason for divorce.
It's pretty obvious that people don't get divorced out of the blue. It is possible that one of the spouses didn't see it coming. The thing is they only see it in retrospect. What Happened to them? They became *that couple* and one of them woke up and said I don't wanna be *that couple* any more. I want more.
Here's what I mean by *that couple* and it's in no particular order. Just the peculiar order my brain spits things out! No PDA. Not even in the privacy of their own home. Kisses? Not deep wet kisses that last for days but always little pecks. No one is constantly making out but people that still got it for each other don't just peck! So the sex well, it isn't really happening. I can't say how much is the right amount. I can only say that *that couple* is having less of it then they should and its not all that good although no one actually says it out loud.
I put the cart in front of the horse! It doesn't start with the physical. It usually starts with all the other stuff. It isn't that you are at each others throat. That would indicate some kind of passion. It's that you are like good roommates. You read your books in bed before going to sleep but then when the lights go out you both turn to face in different directions. Where you once talked about all your hopes and dreams you now make small talk. You look like a couple on the outside but there's a lot of empty inside.
All of this leads to something that is the worst part of I didn't see it coming. As a woman I view emotional cheating as the worst kind of cheating. I have friends with whom I can say anything. Hopefully we all do. It needs to be my partner however that I share it all with. Make that all with a capital A L L. The sharing of it all needs to go both ways. When the sharing stops it has to go somewhere. We are by nature creatures that need to share. It would just hurt so much if he wasn't sharing with me. If someone else was the one he went to for that. Even if it's another guy friend. It's still not me! Of course if it's a woman, then we have "the other woman" and there is really room for only one woman in my relationship. Now if you are a guy reading this just reverse everything I just said!
I have *that couple* fear sometimes. I think it's why I can describe it so well. I've been married a long time and it's at this point that a lot of couples can start to sleepwalk until they bump into the thing they didn't see coming. Thankfully my fear is as of yet unfounded. Just when I think maybe we are becoming *them* he does something that surprises me. So go and surprise your partner. If not, you risk being Phil's divorced neighbor on Modern Family or worse, his unhappily married neighbor!
It's pretty obvious that people don't get divorced out of the blue. It is possible that one of the spouses didn't see it coming. The thing is they only see it in retrospect. What Happened to them? They became *that couple* and one of them woke up and said I don't wanna be *that couple* any more. I want more.
Here's what I mean by *that couple* and it's in no particular order. Just the peculiar order my brain spits things out! No PDA. Not even in the privacy of their own home. Kisses? Not deep wet kisses that last for days but always little pecks. No one is constantly making out but people that still got it for each other don't just peck! So the sex well, it isn't really happening. I can't say how much is the right amount. I can only say that *that couple* is having less of it then they should and its not all that good although no one actually says it out loud.
I put the cart in front of the horse! It doesn't start with the physical. It usually starts with all the other stuff. It isn't that you are at each others throat. That would indicate some kind of passion. It's that you are like good roommates. You read your books in bed before going to sleep but then when the lights go out you both turn to face in different directions. Where you once talked about all your hopes and dreams you now make small talk. You look like a couple on the outside but there's a lot of empty inside.
All of this leads to something that is the worst part of I didn't see it coming. As a woman I view emotional cheating as the worst kind of cheating. I have friends with whom I can say anything. Hopefully we all do. It needs to be my partner however that I share it all with. Make that all with a capital A L L. The sharing of it all needs to go both ways. When the sharing stops it has to go somewhere. We are by nature creatures that need to share. It would just hurt so much if he wasn't sharing with me. If someone else was the one he went to for that. Even if it's another guy friend. It's still not me! Of course if it's a woman, then we have "the other woman" and there is really room for only one woman in my relationship. Now if you are a guy reading this just reverse everything I just said!
I have *that couple* fear sometimes. I think it's why I can describe it so well. I've been married a long time and it's at this point that a lot of couples can start to sleepwalk until they bump into the thing they didn't see coming. Thankfully my fear is as of yet unfounded. Just when I think maybe we are becoming *them* he does something that surprises me. So go and surprise your partner. If not, you risk being Phil's divorced neighbor on Modern Family or worse, his unhappily married neighbor!
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Just fade away?
What is an old rocker to do? My generation invented the rockstar. The edgy, you can't bring him home. to meet your parents kind of guy. Now what? Those guys are now the parents and holy crap even the grandparents. Their music stands the test of time, but do they?
I would like to call one Mick Jagger to the stand. Do we want to see this well aged rocker in leggings and a belly shirt strutting around the stage performing what the best of Rock has to offer? Oh those lips! Yeah but oh those saggy cheeks! Mick can't pull it off anymore without looking like a sad caricature of his younger self. He can still strut but he needs to change the clothes! Ironically Keith Richards can get away with his pirate look. Maybe it's because he always looked worn and torn even back then! I think it's a case of the man wearing the clothes as opposed to the clothes wearing the man. Clear as mud?
Next up? I call Eric Clapton to the stand. I watched a recent you tube video of him and I had to really look to be sure it was him. The voice was definitely him but who was this guy in a button down short sleeve shirt and ill fitting jeans? Never mind the 1st grader haircut. Eric Clapton was cool without having to swagger much. He looked like he gave up. He became a guy his age that lived in the 1950's maybe. Put on a leather jacket...please!
I am starting to feel bad for these guys. It's hard enough for us normal folks to find balance in how we dress as we age. On second thought these guys can afford stylists. Okay, forget the pity party. Old rockers are going to turn grey but that should add to their coolness. I wanna see these guys play and I don't want to feel embarrassed for them. Tone it down or dial it up so I can stay tune in.
Hat tip to http://www.charleywarady.com/2010/11/04/old-rockers-are-old/ for the inspiration!
I would like to call one Mick Jagger to the stand. Do we want to see this well aged rocker in leggings and a belly shirt strutting around the stage performing what the best of Rock has to offer? Oh those lips! Yeah but oh those saggy cheeks! Mick can't pull it off anymore without looking like a sad caricature of his younger self. He can still strut but he needs to change the clothes! Ironically Keith Richards can get away with his pirate look. Maybe it's because he always looked worn and torn even back then! I think it's a case of the man wearing the clothes as opposed to the clothes wearing the man. Clear as mud?
Next up? I call Eric Clapton to the stand. I watched a recent you tube video of him and I had to really look to be sure it was him. The voice was definitely him but who was this guy in a button down short sleeve shirt and ill fitting jeans? Never mind the 1st grader haircut. Eric Clapton was cool without having to swagger much. He looked like he gave up. He became a guy his age that lived in the 1950's maybe. Put on a leather jacket...please!
I am starting to feel bad for these guys. It's hard enough for us normal folks to find balance in how we dress as we age. On second thought these guys can afford stylists. Okay, forget the pity party. Old rockers are going to turn grey but that should add to their coolness. I wanna see these guys play and I don't want to feel embarrassed for them. Tone it down or dial it up so I can stay tune in.
Hat tip to http://www.charleywarady.com/2010/11/04/old-rockers-are-old/ for the inspiration!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
FaceOff!
I'm sick and tired and I'm not going to take it any more! I am not amused but I am feeling abused. It's all the OMG my Mom's on facebook and she friended me crap. I guess Dad's are included but they seem to be less the brunt of the joke. Suddenly the twenty somethings and their followers think Mom is invading their territory and lowering their coolness factor,
I've never seen any of my friends bother their kids or their kids friends on facebook. Of course, they are my friends thereby making them too smart to do that. Frankly, I rarely even read my kids status updates. I'm not on facebook for that. If I want an update I use the phone. You see we have our own lives hard as it is to believe. We are not on facebook to spy on our kids.
For arguments sake, lets say there are those out there who do friend their kids friends and who join in to their kids conversations or worse. You see the problem is that "the kids" feel they need to worry because now Mom will know whatever it is they don't want Mom to know. To that I say "Oh grow up!" You're over the legal age and you're living on your own for heavens sake. It's time to own whoever it is that you are and if Mom scares you then the problem is with you not your Mom.
Then we have what I call the embarrassment factor. It's our right as parents. So if you get embarrassed by something good ol' Mom did or said on facebook I say more power to ya Momma! My kids are immune. I'm not sure what I would have to do to embarrass them. I am however up for the challenge. My kids actually revel in the family crazy. I brought them up right!
So to make this short rant even shorter, cut it out. Stop making out like your parents are hopeless when it comes to social media or anything else for that matter. Trust me when I tell you that anything you've done, we've done and we did it better!
I've never seen any of my friends bother their kids or their kids friends on facebook. Of course, they are my friends thereby making them too smart to do that. Frankly, I rarely even read my kids status updates. I'm not on facebook for that. If I want an update I use the phone. You see we have our own lives hard as it is to believe. We are not on facebook to spy on our kids.
For arguments sake, lets say there are those out there who do friend their kids friends and who join in to their kids conversations or worse. You see the problem is that "the kids" feel they need to worry because now Mom will know whatever it is they don't want Mom to know. To that I say "Oh grow up!" You're over the legal age and you're living on your own for heavens sake. It's time to own whoever it is that you are and if Mom scares you then the problem is with you not your Mom.
Then we have what I call the embarrassment factor. It's our right as parents. So if you get embarrassed by something good ol' Mom did or said on facebook I say more power to ya Momma! My kids are immune. I'm not sure what I would have to do to embarrass them. I am however up for the challenge. My kids actually revel in the family crazy. I brought them up right!
So to make this short rant even shorter, cut it out. Stop making out like your parents are hopeless when it comes to social media or anything else for that matter. Trust me when I tell you that anything you've done, we've done and we did it better!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
House Cleaning
Have no fear. This is not, I repeat not, about how to wrangle the dust bunnies under your bed. I don't have an answer for that. I leave a little lettuce for mine every now and again. I'm talking about my daughter's room. The one who finished college and is now embarking on her life. I'm excited for her but I'm left with the clutter that is her room. She is a pack rat. It comes from her dad who would never let me throw anything out if I asked him. Then one day I realized that half the stuff he doesn't even know is there so I simply stopped asking.
I started the project of cleaning her room. She;s not here to do it. It will always be her room to use but you know and I know that she isn't coming back here to live. Only her Dad doesn't know and even if he reads this his denial skills are those of a ninja! It isn't making me sad. In fact a tchochke free room makes me happy. You see on the occasion I will need to clean the room it will be clutter free. All the clutter will be boxed away if I could only make a dent!
So here's the uncluttered truth. I did good. My daughter has left the nest. Now with my other daughter it should be interesting. When she was itty bitty she once asked me where I was going to live when she got married. I asked her what she meant and she said "Well, I'm going to live here so where will you guys live?!" Anybody know a good realtor?
I started the project of cleaning her room. She;s not here to do it. It will always be her room to use but you know and I know that she isn't coming back here to live. Only her Dad doesn't know and even if he reads this his denial skills are those of a ninja! It isn't making me sad. In fact a tchochke free room makes me happy. You see on the occasion I will need to clean the room it will be clutter free. All the clutter will be boxed away if I could only make a dent!
So here's the uncluttered truth. I did good. My daughter has left the nest. Now with my other daughter it should be interesting. When she was itty bitty she once asked me where I was going to live when she got married. I asked her what she meant and she said "Well, I'm going to live here so where will you guys live?!" Anybody know a good realtor?
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Rebranding
Doesn't that sound like it would hurt? Hey, I grew up watching Bonanza what did you expect. To me branding or rebranding has to do with a hot iron and a cows hide not a product or "brand" whose image you want to change. But as usual I digress.What I want to talk about is this blog.
I started writing it for myself and other women my age because this is such a fun and crazy time in our lives. Surprisingly, guys are reading it. Most of them are my friends so I guess you could say they do it for that reason but they keep coming back which means they find things they can identify with other than the hot flashes. Lucky bastards!
I'm thinking of rebranding. Same product, different name! Would this blog by any other name be as good? I think so. I'm looking for something baby boomer-ish. I'm talkin bout my generation! We did have the best music. We defined Rock. Fashion? They keep coming back for more. I only wish I had saved some of it. Turbulent times? I think we might have invented them!
Okay enough of how cool we were/are. Definitely are. On a good day definitely. So now I need a name. People I'm talkin to you! I need your help. Don't make me do this on my own!
I started writing it for myself and other women my age because this is such a fun and crazy time in our lives. Surprisingly, guys are reading it. Most of them are my friends so I guess you could say they do it for that reason but they keep coming back which means they find things they can identify with other than the hot flashes. Lucky bastards!
I'm thinking of rebranding. Same product, different name! Would this blog by any other name be as good? I think so. I'm looking for something baby boomer-ish. I'm talkin bout my generation! We did have the best music. We defined Rock. Fashion? They keep coming back for more. I only wish I had saved some of it. Turbulent times? I think we might have invented them!
Okay enough of how cool we were/are. Definitely are. On a good day definitely. So now I need a name. People I'm talkin to you! I need your help. Don't make me do this on my own!
Monday, November 1, 2010
Sense and Memory
I'm always amazed at how my mind works! With the least amount of provocation my mind goes places no human should be allowed to go. Have no fear. We aren't going anywhere near that today. Actually what spurred this post was a little light rain this week. The weather was still warm. There is a certain smell that goes along with rain and warm air. That sense becomes like a transporter because suddenly I was someplace else.
I was back in my old neighborhood. I was probably around 12 or 13 years old. It's summer time and we're al hanging outside at the corner mailbox learning to be cool when there is a sudden downpour. No one wants to go back home so we all huddle together under the awning of the Catholic school on the block. While piled in under the awning we discuss the meaning of life and all the important stuff. Like what life will be like in the year 2000! Rain stops and we return to our original posturing!
Amazing that our senses, particularly the sense of smell is so acutely connected to memory. Damp freshly mowed grass in the early morning and I am back at camp. I loved camp. I wish I could bottle the smell. We would spend the first half of the year before camp talking about what it would be like and the second half of the year going over what happened that summer. It was a unique place to say the least and it had a profound effect on who I would become so I may just try to bottle some Eau de Camp.
I don't do it often enough but I have made homemade pizza. The smell of flour which somehow gets all over my kitchen and the smell of the tomato sauce as the pizza is cooking mix together and bingo I'm in the old neighborhood pizza joint. It's a long journey since a slice was only 25 cents back then! There is also the non food related smell of peroxide which puts me in a hair salon. The hair salon of our mothers. The one where the women would be sitting with their hair in pink curlers under these dryer hoods! The smell of hairspray thick in the air as well. Cans of it full of fluorocarbons!
Music works much the same way. I'll hear a certain song and I'm an awkward teen again. Damn we had good music growing up. So there it is. You wanna revisit the past? Just find the right sensory stimuli to take you there. We all experience it. I love when it catches me off guard. You'll know because I'll be staring out at nothing with a silly grin on my face!
I was back in my old neighborhood. I was probably around 12 or 13 years old. It's summer time and we're al hanging outside at the corner mailbox learning to be cool when there is a sudden downpour. No one wants to go back home so we all huddle together under the awning of the Catholic school on the block. While piled in under the awning we discuss the meaning of life and all the important stuff. Like what life will be like in the year 2000! Rain stops and we return to our original posturing!
Amazing that our senses, particularly the sense of smell is so acutely connected to memory. Damp freshly mowed grass in the early morning and I am back at camp. I loved camp. I wish I could bottle the smell. We would spend the first half of the year before camp talking about what it would be like and the second half of the year going over what happened that summer. It was a unique place to say the least and it had a profound effect on who I would become so I may just try to bottle some Eau de Camp.
I don't do it often enough but I have made homemade pizza. The smell of flour which somehow gets all over my kitchen and the smell of the tomato sauce as the pizza is cooking mix together and bingo I'm in the old neighborhood pizza joint. It's a long journey since a slice was only 25 cents back then! There is also the non food related smell of peroxide which puts me in a hair salon. The hair salon of our mothers. The one where the women would be sitting with their hair in pink curlers under these dryer hoods! The smell of hairspray thick in the air as well. Cans of it full of fluorocarbons!
Music works much the same way. I'll hear a certain song and I'm an awkward teen again. Damn we had good music growing up. So there it is. You wanna revisit the past? Just find the right sensory stimuli to take you there. We all experience it. I love when it catches me off guard. You'll know because I'll be staring out at nothing with a silly grin on my face!
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Showing Your Privates
Much like cleavage, it's a matter of individual taste as to how much you want to expose yourself. Now that you have swallowed the bait I'm going to pull a switch! I'm not talking about *those* privates!
At a recent lunch/brunch/maybe even breakfast with a couple of gal pals we got to talking about social media, specifically how people act on Facebook and twitter. Some people don't like to share details of their lives. Some share too much.
I have some unwritten rules. Actually I didn't realize I had them until we started to talk about it. I will share all the good stuff. I will even share all the stupid stuff that I do. Everyone can use a laugh even at my own expense. Seems in that department I have a rather large expense account! There is one condition, I only do it if I can do it in a funny at least semi witty way. It's not like everything or even anything I do is so interesting. Some of the fun is seeing that everyone else is as boring as we are!
The bad stuff I generally just don't share on Facebook or Twitter. Who needs to bring other people down? I think the only thing I shared in this category was when one of my dogs died. See! Makes you feel sad right? If I have a fight with my husband for example, no matter how tempting it is I don't share that. Although getting all the virtual hugs and "you go girl" kinda stuff is neat I can bug real life friends for that. The real reason I don't do it is because it's not all about me. He has a right to his privacy. Basically I can tell you that if you're looking for tales of woe keep moving. Nothing to see here.
Other people share everything. I mean Too Much Informationville! I guess it doesn't really bother my sensibilities. I'm not even sure if I have sensibilities. I rarely have plain old sense so we can safely assume the book Sense and Sensibility was not modeled after the likes of me. I read the TMI updates but I often don't know how to respond. If they really "let it all hang out" I usually stare for a little while and then move on. Hopefully I remember to close my mouth. Well how would you respond to someone who is fighting with their partner because he wants her to spank him! Do you REALLY want to get in the middle of THAT?! There's all sorts of other crazy stuff people put out there. I bet some of it is a way to get attention. Just don't overplay that hand. I can deal with all kinds of crazy, just not in large doses. Then you will be unfriended or unfollowed. You will be part of the walking Un!
There is another group of information overachievers. People who are going through a rough time in their lives. It could be anything from a sick family member, infertility or losing a job. Some people will use social media as a sounding board. Over and over and over again. They want you to respond but they don't really want to listen to anything you have to say. At some point you wonder if they are ever happy. Do they remember how to laugh at all? My reaction when the shit hits the fan is to laugh. I don't like the alternative. I try not to judge people who deal with things differently than I do. I feel for them because they obviously are in pain and need some kind of validation and or understanding. Sadly it seems they have an easier time talking to the virtual community than the real life people in their lives. Here too less would be more or I will start banging my head on my desk. I won't unanything them because I couldn't stand the guilt!
So how much cleavage do you like to show? Do you have any or is that a push up bra so you can get them some attention? It's all a matter of what feels right. Ultimately you need to be yourself. Being me will just get you into trouble!
At a recent lunch/brunch/maybe even breakfast with a couple of gal pals we got to talking about social media, specifically how people act on Facebook and twitter. Some people don't like to share details of their lives. Some share too much.
I have some unwritten rules. Actually I didn't realize I had them until we started to talk about it. I will share all the good stuff. I will even share all the stupid stuff that I do. Everyone can use a laugh even at my own expense. Seems in that department I have a rather large expense account! There is one condition, I only do it if I can do it in a funny at least semi witty way. It's not like everything or even anything I do is so interesting. Some of the fun is seeing that everyone else is as boring as we are!
The bad stuff I generally just don't share on Facebook or Twitter. Who needs to bring other people down? I think the only thing I shared in this category was when one of my dogs died. See! Makes you feel sad right? If I have a fight with my husband for example, no matter how tempting it is I don't share that. Although getting all the virtual hugs and "you go girl" kinda stuff is neat I can bug real life friends for that. The real reason I don't do it is because it's not all about me. He has a right to his privacy. Basically I can tell you that if you're looking for tales of woe keep moving. Nothing to see here.
Other people share everything. I mean Too Much Informationville! I guess it doesn't really bother my sensibilities. I'm not even sure if I have sensibilities. I rarely have plain old sense so we can safely assume the book Sense and Sensibility was not modeled after the likes of me. I read the TMI updates but I often don't know how to respond. If they really "let it all hang out" I usually stare for a little while and then move on. Hopefully I remember to close my mouth. Well how would you respond to someone who is fighting with their partner because he wants her to spank him! Do you REALLY want to get in the middle of THAT?! There's all sorts of other crazy stuff people put out there. I bet some of it is a way to get attention. Just don't overplay that hand. I can deal with all kinds of crazy, just not in large doses. Then you will be unfriended or unfollowed. You will be part of the walking Un!
There is another group of information overachievers. People who are going through a rough time in their lives. It could be anything from a sick family member, infertility or losing a job. Some people will use social media as a sounding board. Over and over and over again. They want you to respond but they don't really want to listen to anything you have to say. At some point you wonder if they are ever happy. Do they remember how to laugh at all? My reaction when the shit hits the fan is to laugh. I don't like the alternative. I try not to judge people who deal with things differently than I do. I feel for them because they obviously are in pain and need some kind of validation and or understanding. Sadly it seems they have an easier time talking to the virtual community than the real life people in their lives. Here too less would be more or I will start banging my head on my desk. I won't unanything them because I couldn't stand the guilt!
So how much cleavage do you like to show? Do you have any or is that a push up bra so you can get them some attention? It's all a matter of what feels right. Ultimately you need to be yourself. Being me will just get you into trouble!
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Mother of the Bride
Contrary to my title selection neither of my kids are getting married. Maybe it's a defect on my part but I don't feel it's a goal I need them to achieve. I just want them to be really rich so they can finally support me in the life style I would like to become accustom too!
This past week I went to a wedding and it got me thinking. What do I like and dislike about weddings. I mean aside from the whole chick movie romantic love thing which always gets me teary eyed. I have been to many different kinds of weddings, From black tie to a surprise wedding. The surprise wedding was my favorite and not just because I hate wearing heels! What the couple did was invite people to a party. I don't remember what the pretense was but once everyone got there the surprise was on us, the party goers! The bride wore a short white dress and she was beautiful. Oh and she didn't have to suffer through a bridal shower! Oh, did I say suffer?
Weddings are great for people watching. I'm not sure which I like better, the fashion disasters or the women right out of Vogue, Elle and Glamour. My advice to some from this past wedding is that if you are going to wear a very short mini and you have the legs for it than own it and wear a pair of fabulous high heels with the dress. As far as those who should not be wearing a mini but do, I'm not going to be catty. It's all kind of sad. This is the new older and gentler me. But for women my age? Well I'll say this. Some of you really need to learn how to dress! Maybe a mini is inappropriate but we don't have to dress like old dowagers either. There were some women I wanted to walk up to and say "Stop dressing up like your old aunt! Play time is over so grow up and dress like a fabulous adult woman!" Then there are those that dress well but don't own it. Walk like you know you look good. You've earned it!
I think weddings have gotten to be too big. That's my major complaint. It's supposed to be a celebration uniting two people who love each other. So why do the parents need to invite coworkers who don't even know the couple getting married? More presents? More prestige? Blech! I say invite just the couples friends and close family. This way the new couple is surrounded by love not people who are there for the open bar. Then people will actually listen to and enjoy all the toasts.
The where of the wedding really should be up to the couple and obviously what they can afford. I prefer non traditional places. I'm not a fan of the wedding hall and in fact I'd be happy with just some champagne and hors d'oeuvres on the beach. But thats just me and it's thirty years too late. I went like a lemming into the whole wedding hall thing and I didn't enjoy it at all. I want a do over!
In conclusion I love weddings for the romance. I love the fashion faux pas too but I dislike the crowds and the boring wedding halls they are usually in. If my kids get married I only wish for them that in their choices they never consider what other people will say and that they say fuck "the joneses", the Joneses better keep up with them!
This past week I went to a wedding and it got me thinking. What do I like and dislike about weddings. I mean aside from the whole chick movie romantic love thing which always gets me teary eyed. I have been to many different kinds of weddings, From black tie to a surprise wedding. The surprise wedding was my favorite and not just because I hate wearing heels! What the couple did was invite people to a party. I don't remember what the pretense was but once everyone got there the surprise was on us, the party goers! The bride wore a short white dress and she was beautiful. Oh and she didn't have to suffer through a bridal shower! Oh, did I say suffer?
Weddings are great for people watching. I'm not sure which I like better, the fashion disasters or the women right out of Vogue, Elle and Glamour. My advice to some from this past wedding is that if you are going to wear a very short mini and you have the legs for it than own it and wear a pair of fabulous high heels with the dress. As far as those who should not be wearing a mini but do, I'm not going to be catty. It's all kind of sad. This is the new older and gentler me. But for women my age? Well I'll say this. Some of you really need to learn how to dress! Maybe a mini is inappropriate but we don't have to dress like old dowagers either. There were some women I wanted to walk up to and say "Stop dressing up like your old aunt! Play time is over so grow up and dress like a fabulous adult woman!" Then there are those that dress well but don't own it. Walk like you know you look good. You've earned it!
I think weddings have gotten to be too big. That's my major complaint. It's supposed to be a celebration uniting two people who love each other. So why do the parents need to invite coworkers who don't even know the couple getting married? More presents? More prestige? Blech! I say invite just the couples friends and close family. This way the new couple is surrounded by love not people who are there for the open bar. Then people will actually listen to and enjoy all the toasts.
The where of the wedding really should be up to the couple and obviously what they can afford. I prefer non traditional places. I'm not a fan of the wedding hall and in fact I'd be happy with just some champagne and hors d'oeuvres on the beach. But thats just me and it's thirty years too late. I went like a lemming into the whole wedding hall thing and I didn't enjoy it at all. I want a do over!
In conclusion I love weddings for the romance. I love the fashion faux pas too but I dislike the crowds and the boring wedding halls they are usually in. If my kids get married I only wish for them that in their choices they never consider what other people will say and that they say fuck "the joneses", the Joneses better keep up with them!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
54 Things
You know what *they* say about being older and wiser. So I thought, what the hell, lets see if that's true. So I went and stole this idea from a snippy 33 year old whose blog I came across. I just had a birthday so here are 54 things I have learned in 54 years!
LIFE LESSONS
1.Being picked last for sports had absolutely no effect on my adult life. Good one huh? I thought I'd knock that one right out of the box!
2.Read a book or do whatever it is you love and don't worry about the dust in your house. Slacker wisdom but no less wise!
3.Even if you don't love your job have fun for the eight hours you are there. In other words "Don't let the bastards get you down!"
4.Check your pockets before doing the wash. Pockets of the clothes you are about to wash! Not the clothes you are wearing. Did I really need to say that?!
5.Only donkeys never change their minds.
6.Your hair will grow back. Okay that one is only true for bad haircuts not for men going bald. Sorry guys.
7. Do tricep push ups. You will thank me for that one ladies.
8.Take a sick day if you need one. I have over a years worth and no one really appreciates it. They're just glad they didn't have to deal with the inconvenience it would have caused THEM.
10.Take pictures of everything! If only we had had cellphones back in the day!
11. When you start to take yourself too seriously...STOP!
12.Motown is the perfect soundtrack for anything in life.
13. Drive like it's a privilege not a right.
14. Never say "It can't get any worse!" because it can and it will. God loves a challenge. Which leads us to #15.
15.God has a sense of humor.
16. Talk to your parents like they're real people. Try to discover what they're like when they aren't being your parent because once they're gone well they're gone.
16. No one should die alone. If it's too hard for you, tough shit.It's not about you so man up and that goes for women too!
17. Don't be facebook stupid! Whatever you put on facebook will be seen and not always by who you want.
18. Vote. It's the only thing keeping your form of government democratic.
19. I'm a good mother. Who knew?
20. Stories get better with age.
21.Be nice to the people underneath you. Learn their name. Say hi and say thank you. It will pay off and it's what you should be doing regardless.
FASHION
21.Dress like Audrey Hepburn and take Coco Chanel's advice about accessories.
22. Wear nice underwear. Besides the what if you get into a car accident thing, even if you're the only one who sees them, it gives you a feeling of power.
23.Don't wait until you really need an outfit to go shopping. That's exactly when you can't find a thing!
24. Buying a new pair of boots makes winter bearable.
25. If you love it then save it because it will come back in style. I wish I had saved my first pair of bell bottoms! And yes I know there is no way in hell they would fit me now!
26. Stop smoking. Wrinkles are never fashionable.
27.Buy clothes in your size not the size you want to be. Also when getting dressed check out how it looks from the back too. The general public will appreciate it.
28.When you go out looking like a slob because no one will see you is when you run into everyone! So do what I do, wear big sunglasses and cross the street!
FRIENDS
29.The people who cross your path do so for a reason. Pay attention.
30. Friends that don't make you feel good about who you are aren't friends. Cut em loose! You deserve better.
31. Nothing beats old friends and face it, you're going to need them to help remember all the old stories!
32.If a friend can't keep someone else's secrets then they won't keep yours either. When a friend tells me "Soandso told me not to say anything but" I just smile and put a little mental checkpoint next to their name.
33. Listen more. Do so by keeping your mouth shut and only use your ears.
34. Be a good friend. This way when the shit hits the fan of course you should remember to duck and but you will also have friends who will come and help you clean it up!
35. Playing outside is better than being on the computer.
BUT
36.You can meet really cool people via social media with whom you can then go out and play with!
37.Looks change. Not everyone ages well not even "the beautiful" people. But the most amazing thing is when you meet an ordinary or even not good looking person and you come to love them. They look beautiful to you. Oh and one more thing about looks. I saw a picture of this sweet nerd from like Grade school. Grown up he had the whole six pack abs and all I could say was "What was I thinking!" Looks, they can go either way.
38. My new friends are mostly younger than me. I think because all the women I meet that are my age seem old. Yet my old friends in both senses of the word do not seem old at all.
LOVE
39.If you want unconditional love buy a puppy.
40.Hold hands
41. Kiss goodnight. I mean really kiss. No quick pecks.
42.You can't always fix things so try not to break them to begin with.
43. The secret to a long marriage is not getting divorced.
RANDOM (read last minute)
44 Random acts of kindness are a rush. A girl at the bus didn't have enough money so I paid for her. She wanted to somehow pay me back. I told her to just do the same for someone else one day. Felt great.
45. Dancing makes you feel good. Have you ever watched an itty bittty kid at a checkout line just start to dance to the muzak? My point exactly!
46.Ocassionally do something you would not normally do. Feels exhilarating! Freaks people (who think they know you) out!
47.I can watch Casablanca over and over and still tear up at the end. I can read Lamb by Christopher Moore again and still laugh and be amazed at how good it is,
48.Starting to sweat as I learn just how hard writing a list is! The beauty of blogging is that it appears to have been done in one take!
49. Having an empty nest is a good thing. It means you did your job well and you can now rediscover who you are! This should have gone in the LIFE section but you don't tink I'm going to go and renumber everything?
50.There are 2 good things about menopause. No more periods and no worry sex!
51. When you fall down your knee always gets better after your Mom or Dad kisses it!
52. Leftover pizza is the breakfast of champions.
53. I may have gained some insight over the years but I have found that I still have the remarkable potential to screw things up!
AND FINALLY...DRUM ROLL PLEASE...#54
54. If you have an idea write it down because you won't remember it! I think I had some great wisdom to depart for this last one on my list but I didn't write it down and now for the life of me I can't remember it!
Thanks for sticking it out until the end! Hope some of it made you smile. Never doing this again. My brain hurts!
,
LIFE LESSONS
1.Being picked last for sports had absolutely no effect on my adult life. Good one huh? I thought I'd knock that one right out of the box!
2.Read a book or do whatever it is you love and don't worry about the dust in your house. Slacker wisdom but no less wise!
3.Even if you don't love your job have fun for the eight hours you are there. In other words "Don't let the bastards get you down!"
4.Check your pockets before doing the wash. Pockets of the clothes you are about to wash! Not the clothes you are wearing. Did I really need to say that?!
5.Only donkeys never change their minds.
6.Your hair will grow back. Okay that one is only true for bad haircuts not for men going bald. Sorry guys.
7. Do tricep push ups. You will thank me for that one ladies.
8.Take a sick day if you need one. I have over a years worth and no one really appreciates it. They're just glad they didn't have to deal with the inconvenience it would have caused THEM.
10.Take pictures of everything! If only we had had cellphones back in the day!
11. When you start to take yourself too seriously...STOP!
12.Motown is the perfect soundtrack for anything in life.
13. Drive like it's a privilege not a right.
14. Never say "It can't get any worse!" because it can and it will. God loves a challenge. Which leads us to #15.
15.God has a sense of humor.
16. Talk to your parents like they're real people. Try to discover what they're like when they aren't being your parent because once they're gone well they're gone.
16. No one should die alone. If it's too hard for you, tough shit.It's not about you so man up and that goes for women too!
17. Don't be facebook stupid! Whatever you put on facebook will be seen and not always by who you want.
18. Vote. It's the only thing keeping your form of government democratic.
19. I'm a good mother. Who knew?
20. Stories get better with age.
21.Be nice to the people underneath you. Learn their name. Say hi and say thank you. It will pay off and it's what you should be doing regardless.
FASHION
21.Dress like Audrey Hepburn and take Coco Chanel's advice about accessories.
22. Wear nice underwear. Besides the what if you get into a car accident thing, even if you're the only one who sees them, it gives you a feeling of power.
23.Don't wait until you really need an outfit to go shopping. That's exactly when you can't find a thing!
24. Buying a new pair of boots makes winter bearable.
25. If you love it then save it because it will come back in style. I wish I had saved my first pair of bell bottoms! And yes I know there is no way in hell they would fit me now!
26. Stop smoking. Wrinkles are never fashionable.
27.Buy clothes in your size not the size you want to be. Also when getting dressed check out how it looks from the back too. The general public will appreciate it.
28.When you go out looking like a slob because no one will see you is when you run into everyone! So do what I do, wear big sunglasses and cross the street!
FRIENDS
29.The people who cross your path do so for a reason. Pay attention.
30. Friends that don't make you feel good about who you are aren't friends. Cut em loose! You deserve better.
31. Nothing beats old friends and face it, you're going to need them to help remember all the old stories!
32.If a friend can't keep someone else's secrets then they won't keep yours either. When a friend tells me "Soandso told me not to say anything but" I just smile and put a little mental checkpoint next to their name.
33. Listen more. Do so by keeping your mouth shut and only use your ears.
34. Be a good friend. This way when the shit hits the fan of course you should remember to duck and but you will also have friends who will come and help you clean it up!
35. Playing outside is better than being on the computer.
BUT
36.You can meet really cool people via social media with whom you can then go out and play with!
37.Looks change. Not everyone ages well not even "the beautiful" people. But the most amazing thing is when you meet an ordinary or even not good looking person and you come to love them. They look beautiful to you. Oh and one more thing about looks. I saw a picture of this sweet nerd from like Grade school. Grown up he had the whole six pack abs and all I could say was "What was I thinking!" Looks, they can go either way.
38. My new friends are mostly younger than me. I think because all the women I meet that are my age seem old. Yet my old friends in both senses of the word do not seem old at all.
LOVE
39.If you want unconditional love buy a puppy.
40.Hold hands
41. Kiss goodnight. I mean really kiss. No quick pecks.
42.You can't always fix things so try not to break them to begin with.
43. The secret to a long marriage is not getting divorced.
RANDOM (read last minute)
44 Random acts of kindness are a rush. A girl at the bus didn't have enough money so I paid for her. She wanted to somehow pay me back. I told her to just do the same for someone else one day. Felt great.
45. Dancing makes you feel good. Have you ever watched an itty bittty kid at a checkout line just start to dance to the muzak? My point exactly!
46.Ocassionally do something you would not normally do. Feels exhilarating! Freaks people (who think they know you) out!
47.I can watch Casablanca over and over and still tear up at the end. I can read Lamb by Christopher Moore again and still laugh and be amazed at how good it is,
48.Starting to sweat as I learn just how hard writing a list is! The beauty of blogging is that it appears to have been done in one take!
49. Having an empty nest is a good thing. It means you did your job well and you can now rediscover who you are! This should have gone in the LIFE section but you don't tink I'm going to go and renumber everything?
50.There are 2 good things about menopause. No more periods and no worry sex!
51. When you fall down your knee always gets better after your Mom or Dad kisses it!
52. Leftover pizza is the breakfast of champions.
53. I may have gained some insight over the years but I have found that I still have the remarkable potential to screw things up!
AND FINALLY...DRUM ROLL PLEASE...#54
54. If you have an idea write it down because you won't remember it! I think I had some great wisdom to depart for this last one on my list but I didn't write it down and now for the life of me I can't remember it!
Thanks for sticking it out until the end! Hope some of it made you smile. Never doing this again. My brain hurts!
,
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Divine Intervention
Well I'd like to think so but it could just as easily have been my older daughter who at times has thought she's right up there with the Top Gun! Actually who the hell cares. Not you dear reader who as of yet is clueless. It seems the man of my dreams, aka my husband has read my blog lHe hasn't up until now because it is for women my age and he is a guy my age.
So the intervention part of this divine occurrence happened because he read my Owner's Manual posts. Being that my birthday is coming up he avoided an oops because he read what I wrote. Although he gets mad credit because even his wrong choice was something he thought about. It's nice when that face across from you actually sees you! Truth be told, I would have taken that gift, the one I am not getting and I would have loved it anyway.
So now the only question that remains is if it was my daughter who reads my blog that told her Dad or has the Person Upstairs started reading it too? And even if it was her, could that not be the work of the Divine too? You know with those mysterious ways and all. Hey, I'm getting a present and isn't that by itself just divine!
So the intervention part of this divine occurrence happened because he read my Owner's Manual posts. Being that my birthday is coming up he avoided an oops because he read what I wrote. Although he gets mad credit because even his wrong choice was something he thought about. It's nice when that face across from you actually sees you! Truth be told, I would have taken that gift, the one I am not getting and I would have loved it anyway.
So now the only question that remains is if it was my daughter who reads my blog that told her Dad or has the Person Upstairs started reading it too? And even if it was her, could that not be the work of the Divine too? You know with those mysterious ways and all. Hey, I'm getting a present and isn't that by itself just divine!
Friday, October 1, 2010
The Ripple Effect
When you've lived, well, as long as I have you can start to see how seemingly small events changed your life. I started to look at how these little ripples had their effect on my life.
In 4th grade we moved roughly about 15 blocks. Those 15 blocks put me in a new neighborhood. Two years later B moved to the neighborhood and we became best buds in junior high school. If neither of us had moved we wouldn't have become friends and then gone to camp together and joined the youth movement attached to the camp. If we hadn't gone to said camp we wouldn't have been sent by the movement to a year abroad studying after high school. Then I would never have met my husband C who was also on the program. We met when he asked me for a light at the airport in Paris because at the time I was smoking. So while I agree with the surgeon general I am glad I was a defiant youth who was smart enough to quit as an adult.
So had we both not gone on this program we never would have met and C would never have come with me to camp that summer which means he never would have met M and become his best friend. This is important because even though C and I parted ways shortly after that summer, six years later I came back to NYC for a visit and C was there too because M was getting married. Are you keeping up? After six years apart I was face to face with C. Without all that came before it never would have happened that the flame was rekindled that I lit in Paris all those years ago.
Crazy, but everything that happens in your life matters!
In 4th grade we moved roughly about 15 blocks. Those 15 blocks put me in a new neighborhood. Two years later B moved to the neighborhood and we became best buds in junior high school. If neither of us had moved we wouldn't have become friends and then gone to camp together and joined the youth movement attached to the camp. If we hadn't gone to said camp we wouldn't have been sent by the movement to a year abroad studying after high school. Then I would never have met my husband C who was also on the program. We met when he asked me for a light at the airport in Paris because at the time I was smoking. So while I agree with the surgeon general I am glad I was a defiant youth who was smart enough to quit as an adult.
So had we both not gone on this program we never would have met and C would never have come with me to camp that summer which means he never would have met M and become his best friend. This is important because even though C and I parted ways shortly after that summer, six years later I came back to NYC for a visit and C was there too because M was getting married. Are you keeping up? After six years apart I was face to face with C. Without all that came before it never would have happened that the flame was rekindled that I lit in Paris all those years ago.
Crazy, but everything that happens in your life matters!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Sleepless in ______ (fill in the blank)
If there was one thing I was always good at it was sleeping. Caffeine couldn't stop me. The sun was never enough to get me up from a good sleep if I wasn't ready. Naps were like a little extra dessert! Don't get me started on my dreams! Vivid, technicolor iMax dreams. But now it appears that Mr Sandman is spending his time in someone else's bed!
It now takes me forever to fall asleep. I cannot shut down. My mind is in constant motion and only about things that I cannot fix at 1am even if I wanted to! Now the pundits and analysts will say that there must be something troubling me. Well yeah, life seems to happen that way. There were things troubling me two years ago too but I slept. In fact sleep was like my escape. When life got too crazy I just took a nap. Now I have to face the crazy head on and I'm pretty sure "It's the hormones stupid!" They left and they aren't coming back!
I took sleeping for granted and now that I am hormonally challenged it has ditched me for some younger chick. Sleep must be a man!
It now takes me forever to fall asleep. I cannot shut down. My mind is in constant motion and only about things that I cannot fix at 1am even if I wanted to! Now the pundits and analysts will say that there must be something troubling me. Well yeah, life seems to happen that way. There were things troubling me two years ago too but I slept. In fact sleep was like my escape. When life got too crazy I just took a nap. Now I have to face the crazy head on and I'm pretty sure "It's the hormones stupid!" They left and they aren't coming back!
I took sleeping for granted and now that I am hormonally challenged it has ditched me for some younger chick. Sleep must be a man!
Monday, September 27, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Owners Manual Part II
The Hard Drive: What I like
1. Favorite flavor of ice cream is coffee except if having gelato in Italy. Then any flavor will do! Real food- Italian or Chinese are my favs.
2. I don't ever want flowers as a gift. I love flowers in nature but as a gift it's just too easy. Takes no thought. Same goes for household appliances- I don't really need to explain do I?
3. I love getting presents for no apparent reason.
4.PDA is always good as long as it doesn't make people scream "Get a room!"
5. I love technology but I miss love letters. No one sends them anymore and that is a shame
6.I like every once in a while for you to tell your friends how lucky/happy/in love you are with me. Never overdo it because then it becomes meaningless.
7. I love chick flicks and action movies. I hate horror movies. They may be fun but the nightmares afterward.....I have too vivid an imagination
8. Jewelry- I prefer silver over gold. Delicate over large. Any kind of hoop earrings - I am a child of the 60's!
Okay, this is starting to sound a little self indulgent but it needed to be done! It probably won't change those moments when I look at him and think "Who have you been sleeping next to all these years?!" Luckily it doesn't happen very often but when it does .....
1. Favorite flavor of ice cream is coffee except if having gelato in Italy. Then any flavor will do! Real food- Italian or Chinese are my favs.
2. I don't ever want flowers as a gift. I love flowers in nature but as a gift it's just too easy. Takes no thought. Same goes for household appliances- I don't really need to explain do I?
3. I love getting presents for no apparent reason.
4.PDA is always good as long as it doesn't make people scream "Get a room!"
5. I love technology but I miss love letters. No one sends them anymore and that is a shame
6.I like every once in a while for you to tell your friends how lucky/happy/in love you are with me. Never overdo it because then it becomes meaningless.
7. I love chick flicks and action movies. I hate horror movies. They may be fun but the nightmares afterward.....I have too vivid an imagination
8. Jewelry- I prefer silver over gold. Delicate over large. Any kind of hoop earrings - I am a child of the 60's!
Okay, this is starting to sound a little self indulgent but it needed to be done! It probably won't change those moments when I look at him and think "Who have you been sleeping next to all these years?!" Luckily it doesn't happen very often but when it does .....
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Owners Manual
Sunrise, sunset, quickly flow the years. One season following another...so you'd think there wouldn't be any "how could you not know that by now" moments and yet, there they are! So here it is Part I of the multifaceted things that are me and how it all works!
The Motherboard:
1.Sometimes I just need you to listen. You can tell because I am ranting and not letting you get a word in edgewise
2.If I am sad- I always need a hug
3.If I cry at a movie-hold my hand and a tissue might be nice. No one, not even Angelina Jolie, Megan Fox or fill in the blank_____ looks good snotfaced.
4.When I cry see #3 re tissues
5.Never side with whoever pissed me off until I have calmed down.
6 I am allowed to lose it now and again. So are you. Hopefully we can take turns!
7. Talk to me. I wanna know when something bothers you. I can handle the truth!
8.Cuddling is always right.
9.Making me laugh is always always a good thing to do when I am sad or upset.
Warning: Don't blame anything on hormones. Only Me, the one who lives in this body gets to be the judge of that! The surgeon general has declared it may be hazardous to your health!
Thinking about how I work emotionally is making my head hurt. If you can't figure a situation out just do what our dog does and no I don't mean lick my face! I'm talking unconditional love!
Part II: The Hard Drive coming to this page soon!
The Motherboard:
1.Sometimes I just need you to listen. You can tell because I am ranting and not letting you get a word in edgewise
2.If I am sad- I always need a hug
3.If I cry at a movie-hold my hand and a tissue might be nice. No one, not even Angelina Jolie, Megan Fox or fill in the blank_____ looks good snotfaced.
4.When I cry see #3 re tissues
5.Never side with whoever pissed me off until I have calmed down.
6 I am allowed to lose it now and again. So are you. Hopefully we can take turns!
7. Talk to me. I wanna know when something bothers you. I can handle the truth!
8.Cuddling is always right.
9.Making me laugh is always always a good thing to do when I am sad or upset.
Warning: Don't blame anything on hormones. Only Me, the one who lives in this body gets to be the judge of that! The surgeon general has declared it may be hazardous to your health!
Thinking about how I work emotionally is making my head hurt. If you can't figure a situation out just do what our dog does and no I don't mean lick my face! I'm talking unconditional love!
Part II: The Hard Drive coming to this page soon!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Just Passing Through
All of us are just passing through. We pass through this world and we pass through other peoples lives. For some we are there only for a short time and with others we stay and become entwined like ivy growing on the side of a building. Each time we pass through someones life we change it. We add a memory and history to the lives we pass along the way.
This week a childhood friend passed away. I heard about it on facebook. I haven't seen him since Junior High School. We reconnected on facebook along with most of the kids I hung out with growing up. We were a neighborhood gang of kids before being in a neighborhood gang became a negative thing. We rode our bikes and played freeze tag in the park. Like true New Yorkers we played stickball and King/Queen against the convent wall of the girls Catholic school. There was of course the proverbial mailbox on the corner where we hung out. As we got older we spent more time by the mailbox than we did playing games.
I have lived a whole shitload of my life without seeing my friend. I got a career, a family and I moved away from the hood. Same for him. Yet when I'm back there and I walk those same streets I can here the echo of our voices. All I have to do is close my eyes and I am once again the skinny, slightly awkward girl with the long brown hair and glasses. Back then I only wished I was cooler and oh yeah, had bigger boobs! Now she makes me smile. I never got to see him before he passed away. I'm guessing that like most of us we are very much like who we were back then, only a hopefully better version. Life shapes us but the basic lump of clay that was forming into somebody way back then is still at our core, for better or for worse!
I'm grateful for facebook. It helped bring back some wonderful memories and it answered all the " I wonder whatever happened to" questions. Now whenever I feel like it I can reach out and touch a piece of my past. My friend who passed away was part of all that. Because he passed through my life I have memories and history that I can thank him for. I wish we could have had a chance to laugh about the dumbass stuff we did as kids but that's life. We're all only passing through but the memories and the history and the people we touch along the way are like a permanent signpost that says yes, we were here.
This week a childhood friend passed away. I heard about it on facebook. I haven't seen him since Junior High School. We reconnected on facebook along with most of the kids I hung out with growing up. We were a neighborhood gang of kids before being in a neighborhood gang became a negative thing. We rode our bikes and played freeze tag in the park. Like true New Yorkers we played stickball and King/Queen against the convent wall of the girls Catholic school. There was of course the proverbial mailbox on the corner where we hung out. As we got older we spent more time by the mailbox than we did playing games.
I have lived a whole shitload of my life without seeing my friend. I got a career, a family and I moved away from the hood. Same for him. Yet when I'm back there and I walk those same streets I can here the echo of our voices. All I have to do is close my eyes and I am once again the skinny, slightly awkward girl with the long brown hair and glasses. Back then I only wished I was cooler and oh yeah, had bigger boobs! Now she makes me smile. I never got to see him before he passed away. I'm guessing that like most of us we are very much like who we were back then, only a hopefully better version. Life shapes us but the basic lump of clay that was forming into somebody way back then is still at our core, for better or for worse!
I'm grateful for facebook. It helped bring back some wonderful memories and it answered all the " I wonder whatever happened to" questions. Now whenever I feel like it I can reach out and touch a piece of my past. My friend who passed away was part of all that. Because he passed through my life I have memories and history that I can thank him for. I wish we could have had a chance to laugh about the dumbass stuff we did as kids but that's life. We're all only passing through but the memories and the history and the people we touch along the way are like a permanent signpost that says yes, we were here.
Monday, September 13, 2010
I'm Cool!
When someone tells you that you're cool that's a compliment. Right? Well it is, and I am, cool. This time I was cool in a backhanded compliment kind of way.
A friend of mine turned to me and said " I can't believe how cool you are." So far so good. Said friend continues with " I can't believe you're in your what, fifties? " Me raising one eyebrow (well if I could!). Then comes the punch. I mean punchline. "I can't believe I have a friend who's like 50 but you're so cool."
Excuse me? I think the road to hell just got a little more pavement! My friend by the way is 38. I know that what my friend meant was, you are cool and nothing like my parents. Of course I'm nothing like my friends parents. For one thing, and this is the important one, I'm not old enough to be a 38 year olds parent. The other thing is that most people don't think their parents are cool. They love them but that doesn't mean they're cool. Parents are also traditionally not viewed as actual people. You could do a whole series of books on the secret lives of parents! It would send shockwaves to kiddom everywhere!
I like being cool. I like that people not of my generation think I'm cool. I hate that it's a total surprise that it's even possible.
A friend of mine turned to me and said " I can't believe how cool you are." So far so good. Said friend continues with " I can't believe you're in your what, fifties? " Me raising one eyebrow (well if I could!). Then comes the punch. I mean punchline. "I can't believe I have a friend who's like 50 but you're so cool."
Excuse me? I think the road to hell just got a little more pavement! My friend by the way is 38. I know that what my friend meant was, you are cool and nothing like my parents. Of course I'm nothing like my friends parents. For one thing, and this is the important one, I'm not old enough to be a 38 year olds parent. The other thing is that most people don't think their parents are cool. They love them but that doesn't mean they're cool. Parents are also traditionally not viewed as actual people. You could do a whole series of books on the secret lives of parents! It would send shockwaves to kiddom everywhere!
I like being cool. I like that people not of my generation think I'm cool. I hate that it's a total surprise that it's even possible.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
WTF Mother Nature!
So I woke up one fine morning recently only to discover my hormones had left the building. I looked everywhere, even under the bed. All that I found were my pet dust bunnies! No hormones. What really pisses me off is that they didn't even have the common courtesy to say good bye. We had been together for all those long years and not even a note or a text message. What kind of a break up is that?
As I was searching for my hormones under the bed I found something equally as startling. I woke up this one fine morning and I had belly fat! I swear I didn't have it the night before but there it was, a roll or a tire where my flat stomach had been. I didn't even have dessert the night before. How does that happen?
As with anything else in my life it only gets better! I bend down to pick something up from the floor but I can't reach it. My toes are out of reach. Mr flexibility evidently hitched a ride with the hormones when they snuck out overnight. Why is my body doing this to me?
Overnight I lost my hormones, I lost my flexibility and I gained a respectable roll of belly fat. Overnight! Pinkie swear! I woke up one fine morning to find my body had betrayed me. Are we sure it's Mother Nature? Would a woman really do this to another woman? I'm beginning to think nature is really a misogynist he man woman hater!
In any case , I'm not taking this from anyone. I'm not going to take this lying down. Well I actually would do that if it would do me any good. So I have a plan. To my hormones I can only say I hope the door didn't hit you on the way out. Your gone and I'm changing the locks on the door. It was fun while it lasted but you aren't coming back so I'm moving on. To my flexibility I say "take that!" and by that I mean Yoga. Did I mention that I now hate nubile young women who can do anything with their bodies? Okay girl, breathe. To my jelly belly fat cells I say start dancing. Nothing like a little dancing to burn those cells in what I hope is a funeral pyre. I really only have one last question. How is it that these things happen overnight but take so much longer to undo?
As I was searching for my hormones under the bed I found something equally as startling. I woke up this one fine morning and I had belly fat! I swear I didn't have it the night before but there it was, a roll or a tire where my flat stomach had been. I didn't even have dessert the night before. How does that happen?
As with anything else in my life it only gets better! I bend down to pick something up from the floor but I can't reach it. My toes are out of reach. Mr flexibility evidently hitched a ride with the hormones when they snuck out overnight. Why is my body doing this to me?
Overnight I lost my hormones, I lost my flexibility and I gained a respectable roll of belly fat. Overnight! Pinkie swear! I woke up one fine morning to find my body had betrayed me. Are we sure it's Mother Nature? Would a woman really do this to another woman? I'm beginning to think nature is really a misogynist he man woman hater!
In any case , I'm not taking this from anyone. I'm not going to take this lying down. Well I actually would do that if it would do me any good. So I have a plan. To my hormones I can only say I hope the door didn't hit you on the way out. Your gone and I'm changing the locks on the door. It was fun while it lasted but you aren't coming back so I'm moving on. To my flexibility I say "take that!" and by that I mean Yoga. Did I mention that I now hate nubile young women who can do anything with their bodies? Okay girl, breathe. To my jelly belly fat cells I say start dancing. Nothing like a little dancing to burn those cells in what I hope is a funeral pyre. I really only have one last question. How is it that these things happen overnight but take so much longer to undo?
Saturday, August 28, 2010
I Want The Hollywood Sign
Sometimes things can get confusing and it's not the early onset of dementia or Alzheimers. I think it's hard for my generation of women. Remember, we invented Gloria Steinem! Are we feminists or are we little girls waiting for prince charming to come and whisk us away? Sometimes I'm not sure.
Growing up I took to heart many of the feminist ideals. I was not going to be "taken care of" by any guy. I would be fully self sufficient. In fact, I pretty much am self sufficient. Another lesson I learned from my feminist sisters was that a guy would not make you happy. The reason is that happiness comes from inside. Another human being can't "make" you happy.
So here's the thing, I find myself suddenly with a need for romance. I'm talking sweep you off your feet on a white horse romance. I'm talking larger than life public display of how much I adore you romance. I'm talking about I would do it all over again and then some because you are the one romance! Are you getting my drift?
Oddly enough and fortunately for me my marriage is one where affection is shown. We hug and kiss, so that's not what is missing.But there it is anyway, I want more! I want the grand gesture. I want the Hollywood moment! Even I know that I can't make that happen. Besides, I want it to happen on its own so it will knock my socks off! In the mean time I ponder the origin of this feeling. Is it age or rather the big fat round number of years I have been married? Do I need to reassure myself that I am still *the one* as opposed to being the *comfy well worn pair of jeans* we all are used to wearing? I guess the answer to that is pretty obvious. I need to know and I need it in a big way.
I don't really know what the trigger was and it's probably buried somewhere deep. Do i really want to stick my hand down there, into that mess, to see what I pull out? Will it change anything? I think the bigger dilemma is not the why but the what if. I hope I get my Hollywood moment one day but what happens if I don't?
Growing up I took to heart many of the feminist ideals. I was not going to be "taken care of" by any guy. I would be fully self sufficient. In fact, I pretty much am self sufficient. Another lesson I learned from my feminist sisters was that a guy would not make you happy. The reason is that happiness comes from inside. Another human being can't "make" you happy.
So here's the thing, I find myself suddenly with a need for romance. I'm talking sweep you off your feet on a white horse romance. I'm talking larger than life public display of how much I adore you romance. I'm talking about I would do it all over again and then some because you are the one romance! Are you getting my drift?
Oddly enough and fortunately for me my marriage is one where affection is shown. We hug and kiss, so that's not what is missing.But there it is anyway, I want more! I want the grand gesture. I want the Hollywood moment! Even I know that I can't make that happen. Besides, I want it to happen on its own so it will knock my socks off! In the mean time I ponder the origin of this feeling. Is it age or rather the big fat round number of years I have been married? Do I need to reassure myself that I am still *the one* as opposed to being the *comfy well worn pair of jeans* we all are used to wearing? I guess the answer to that is pretty obvious. I need to know and I need it in a big way.
I don't really know what the trigger was and it's probably buried somewhere deep. Do i really want to stick my hand down there, into that mess, to see what I pull out? Will it change anything? I think the bigger dilemma is not the why but the what if. I hope I get my Hollywood moment one day but what happens if I don't?
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Novices
Oh quit your bitching bitches! Too much? I think so but sometimes you just have to say it anyway. I'm referring to some newly 30 year olds lamenting how old they suddenly find themselves. I really wanted to tell them to just get a grip.. on reality that is.
I admit that for me turning 30 was no big deal. I was bothered by turning 20 because I wasn't a teenager anymore. I was kind of an adult and who the hell needs that! But I get it. You may not be old old but anyone under the age of 20 will think you are and you can no longer be trusted. I forgot, you won't get the reference if you're only 30 because it was my generation that coined the phrase "don't trust anyone over 30!" Now we're all well over that landmark age. Okay it wasn't our brightest moment. Might have been the drugs!
All I'm saying to the latest class of 30 year olds is wear sunscreen and don't get freaked out by your birthday or you'll be a basket case by the time you get to fifty! Have fun, have kids, get married, have fun, have a career and then have some more fun. Oh and stop with that fake I'm so old crap when you really don't believe it. There is a vast difference between being old and being "older than". Yeah you're older than 20 and you're older than you used to be but you aren't old. Lets see a few white hairs and some wrinkles around your eyes and then we'll talk. You won't be old yet either but hopefully life will have made you interesting!
I admit that for me turning 30 was no big deal. I was bothered by turning 20 because I wasn't a teenager anymore. I was kind of an adult and who the hell needs that! But I get it. You may not be old old but anyone under the age of 20 will think you are and you can no longer be trusted. I forgot, you won't get the reference if you're only 30 because it was my generation that coined the phrase "don't trust anyone over 30!" Now we're all well over that landmark age. Okay it wasn't our brightest moment. Might have been the drugs!
All I'm saying to the latest class of 30 year olds is wear sunscreen and don't get freaked out by your birthday or you'll be a basket case by the time you get to fifty! Have fun, have kids, get married, have fun, have a career and then have some more fun. Oh and stop with that fake I'm so old crap when you really don't believe it. There is a vast difference between being old and being "older than". Yeah you're older than 20 and you're older than you used to be but you aren't old. Lets see a few white hairs and some wrinkles around your eyes and then we'll talk. You won't be old yet either but hopefully life will have made you interesting!
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Basic Instinct
Some things are instinctive like how the body reacts to a fearful situation. It's either fight or flight. Well for me it's almost always flight! I start flapping my chicken yellow wings and I am out of there! Another well known instinct is the maternal one. I never thought I had an abundance of this particular instinct. I wanted to have kids which is why I had them and yet I was not the mother who talked about her kids as being "the best thing I have ever done". Looking at them now they are pretty damn great! I think I was a good mother. I got my kids to adulthood safely! As to the rest you'll have to ask my kids.
So imagine my surprise while I was walking through a book fair a few years ago and saw the old standard kids book Pat The Bunny and I had a crazy thought. I thought stop using the word and so much in your run on sentence! Wait no, what I really thought was"I want to buy this book". Why? For my grandchildren! It literally stopped me in my tracks. I wasn't even the big 5-0 yet. My kids were not near the age where I would have wanted them to be having babies. Yet there it was, I wanted to be a grandmother! Now as the years have gone by it is something I am really looking forward to being. Some of my friends have reached grandparent status already.
I will rock as a grandmother because I plan on paying little attention to the rules. Actually I'm not sure what the rules are. Hopefully there will be an owners manual. There certainly wasn't one for owning a kid and I could have used it!
Someone I met once said to me that if he had known that having grandchildren was so much fun he would have skipped the having kids part and gone straight to being a grandparent! Makes perfect sense to me.
PS: Sam there is no pressure. Really. I can wait...and wait...and wait! I'm kidding! I'm a kidder! You know that right? Right?
So imagine my surprise while I was walking through a book fair a few years ago and saw the old standard kids book Pat The Bunny and I had a crazy thought. I thought stop using the word and so much in your run on sentence! Wait no, what I really thought was"I want to buy this book". Why? For my grandchildren! It literally stopped me in my tracks. I wasn't even the big 5-0 yet. My kids were not near the age where I would have wanted them to be having babies. Yet there it was, I wanted to be a grandmother! Now as the years have gone by it is something I am really looking forward to being. Some of my friends have reached grandparent status already.
I will rock as a grandmother because I plan on paying little attention to the rules. Actually I'm not sure what the rules are. Hopefully there will be an owners manual. There certainly wasn't one for owning a kid and I could have used it!
Someone I met once said to me that if he had known that having grandchildren was so much fun he would have skipped the having kids part and gone straight to being a grandparent! Makes perfect sense to me.
PS: Sam there is no pressure. Really. I can wait...and wait...and wait! I'm kidding! I'm a kidder! You know that right? Right?
Monday, August 9, 2010
Boy Meets Girl
It's not everyday you have an anniversary. Okay I know, if it was every day then it wouldn't be an anniversary! Work with me here people! When you have been with the same guy for so many years and he hasn't tossed you out, or you him, it means there is also a lot of history going on. In our case the boy met this girl at the airport in Paris. The year was 1973. He asked me for a match. Those were the good old days when you could smoke anywhere. Luckily I too was a smoker and had a match to give him! The rest as I said is history!
Thinking back on that time period it was pretty much like an episode of That 70's Show! Then came the 80's and with that came marriage. The eighties was not my favorite decade as decades go. Hard to take the flannel wearing slightly hippie chick and make her wear preppie clothes, but preppie clothes I did wear. I didn't know you could just say no! During that decade came the kids. Then things got a little blurry. I was suddenly not me but someone's Mom and dressed like a preppie no less! So there I was, like most Moms, always thinking about someone else. I think that's the reason those years seem so blurry to me. I lost a bit of me.
All hail the 90's. Grunge was here and flannel was back! With this new decade I started to see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel and it wasn't a train! The kiddies were no longer really kiddies. It went way too fast. I think it speeds up the moment they start first grade. That's when they really go out into the world on their own. We just don't notice how fast it goes because we're all so busy making sure they survive to adulthood. I just know that it felt as if I turned around and they were all grown up.
Finally the year 2000 dawns and a miracle happens. I'm back! Well maybe not in 2000 but during this decade that frankly I don't know what to call. The kids have left the building. Once again it's just the two of us. You never know how that will all work out. Plenty of couples find they have nothing to say to each other. Actually they probably have a lot to say but they're just not saying it! That's the thing about marriage. There are so many ups and downs when it spans so many years. It isn't easy and love doesn't always conquer all. I think it takes stubbornness. Others might say stupidity as in " they were too stupid to split up"!
Whenever I talk about longevity in marriage I am reminded of a real life story. One of my husband's friends had gotten married for the second time. He asked us what the secret to a long marriage was. While I was busy trying to come up with a brilliant answer my husband simply said "Don't get divorced."
Thinking back on that time period it was pretty much like an episode of That 70's Show! Then came the 80's and with that came marriage. The eighties was not my favorite decade as decades go. Hard to take the flannel wearing slightly hippie chick and make her wear preppie clothes, but preppie clothes I did wear. I didn't know you could just say no! During that decade came the kids. Then things got a little blurry. I was suddenly not me but someone's Mom and dressed like a preppie no less! So there I was, like most Moms, always thinking about someone else. I think that's the reason those years seem so blurry to me. I lost a bit of me.
All hail the 90's. Grunge was here and flannel was back! With this new decade I started to see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel and it wasn't a train! The kiddies were no longer really kiddies. It went way too fast. I think it speeds up the moment they start first grade. That's when they really go out into the world on their own. We just don't notice how fast it goes because we're all so busy making sure they survive to adulthood. I just know that it felt as if I turned around and they were all grown up.
Finally the year 2000 dawns and a miracle happens. I'm back! Well maybe not in 2000 but during this decade that frankly I don't know what to call. The kids have left the building. Once again it's just the two of us. You never know how that will all work out. Plenty of couples find they have nothing to say to each other. Actually they probably have a lot to say but they're just not saying it! That's the thing about marriage. There are so many ups and downs when it spans so many years. It isn't easy and love doesn't always conquer all. I think it takes stubbornness. Others might say stupidity as in " they were too stupid to split up"!
Whenever I talk about longevity in marriage I am reminded of a real life story. One of my husband's friends had gotten married for the second time. He asked us what the secret to a long marriage was. While I was busy trying to come up with a brilliant answer my husband simply said "Don't get divorced."
Monday, August 2, 2010
For The Single Ladies
It occurred to me that I view things from a married perspective. So what about the readers who aren't married? Thinking about this got me thinking about what it would be like to date after all these years. Well one thing led to another and I started thinking of questions I would ask a man in the course of our first few dates. That is if he actually calls when he says he will. That shit never seems to change!
When you're young I think you just need to let things unfold and see where they take you. What about now? I imagine that anyone at my stage of the game pretty much knows who they are and that knowledge means we know what we like and don't like. Of course a pair of McDreamy bedroom eyes could make me forget everything!
I gave myself five minutes (no time to waste) to come up with some questions I would ask a potential date to see if I could stand to spend more time with him once the date masks came off! They're all pretty self explanatory and in no particular order because I'm too lazy to organize them which is a hint to any potential suitors.
1.Is refudiate a real word?
2. Do you know how to do laundry?
3. How far away do you live from your mother?
4. Can you kill a bug?
5. Are you on twitter?
6. Do you like to eat dinner while watching TV?
7. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
8. Do you have a dog or a cat?
9. What was the last movie you saw?
10. Are you sad that Simon Cowell left Idol?
11. What kind of bathing suit do you wear?
12. Could I have a sip of water from your bottle?
13. What would you do with the money if you won the lottery?
Writing the questions was fun. They may say more about me than the guy who would be answering them! None of these questions will tell me if he's a good kisser. The rules of attraction seem to be that there are no rules. The thing about love is that it's unexplainable and that's what makes it so wonderful. So ladies, what are some of your questions?
When you're young I think you just need to let things unfold and see where they take you. What about now? I imagine that anyone at my stage of the game pretty much knows who they are and that knowledge means we know what we like and don't like. Of course a pair of McDreamy bedroom eyes could make me forget everything!
I gave myself five minutes (no time to waste) to come up with some questions I would ask a potential date to see if I could stand to spend more time with him once the date masks came off! They're all pretty self explanatory and in no particular order because I'm too lazy to organize them which is a hint to any potential suitors.
1.Is refudiate a real word?
2. Do you know how to do laundry?
3. How far away do you live from your mother?
4. Can you kill a bug?
5. Are you on twitter?
6. Do you like to eat dinner while watching TV?
7. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
8. Do you have a dog or a cat?
9. What was the last movie you saw?
10. Are you sad that Simon Cowell left Idol?
11. What kind of bathing suit do you wear?
12. Could I have a sip of water from your bottle?
13. What would you do with the money if you won the lottery?
Writing the questions was fun. They may say more about me than the guy who would be answering them! None of these questions will tell me if he's a good kisser. The rules of attraction seem to be that there are no rules. The thing about love is that it's unexplainable and that's what makes it so wonderful. So ladies, what are some of your questions?
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Rant of an Unwilling Fashionista
Ladies, gals, women, listen up! I have never been a fan of dress your age. I think magazine articles that tell you "how to dress at any age" reek of ageism. The miniskirt seems to be always appropriate if you're in your twenties. Same with skinny jeans. Really? Yet never quite appropriate for an older woman. I guess the magazines are geared for younger women so they have to make them feel good. The ugly truth is that there are legions of twenty year olds that should not be wearing skinny jeans let alone mini skirts. At the same time there are women my age that can rock a pair of skinny jeans. Magazine editors seemingly have yet to discover that being twenty doesn't mean the same as being thin.
I'm still feeling the need to clarify my stance. I am not saying that if you have a great body and you are lets say fifty, you should wear whatever you want. A little flouncy skirt on a fifty year old woman with an athletes body still looks silly. You gotta use common sense and you gotta know who you are. Women that chase every trend usually fall into this trap. They end up looking older not younger. I can wear ripped jeans or a leather biker jacket because its' who I am. My friend Jen who is more elegant than I am can't. Then again I can't carry off anything that would be described as dainty or flowing.
All of this brings me to the cause for my rant. We are our worst enemies sometimes. Today I was on a bus and a woman well into her sixties is sitting a few seats away. Cute bob haircut for her rather pretty white hair. I should have stopped looking when I reached her neck but I am a person who loves people watching. She was wearing a T shirt with cut outs where the shoulders would be. Her black bra straps were showing as well as skin that was lets just say not smooth as a peach. The outfit was completed with 3/4 pants that I couldn't really see and orthopedic looking sandals. Of course the crowning glory was the hat she put on as she was getting off. And you know she thought she looked cute!
Yes even we are allowed our fashion faux pas. God knows I have probably offended someone's eyes by something I shouldn't be wearing. But for God's sake there has to be something between dressing like your 12 and dressing like a little old lady. At the very least don't mix the two styles. Just say no to orthopedic sandals with a peek a boo shirt! And toss any magazine that tries to tell you how to dress solely based on age. We managed to get this far so lets do it with a little flare!
I'm still feeling the need to clarify my stance. I am not saying that if you have a great body and you are lets say fifty, you should wear whatever you want. A little flouncy skirt on a fifty year old woman with an athletes body still looks silly. You gotta use common sense and you gotta know who you are. Women that chase every trend usually fall into this trap. They end up looking older not younger. I can wear ripped jeans or a leather biker jacket because its' who I am. My friend Jen who is more elegant than I am can't. Then again I can't carry off anything that would be described as dainty or flowing.
All of this brings me to the cause for my rant. We are our worst enemies sometimes. Today I was on a bus and a woman well into her sixties is sitting a few seats away. Cute bob haircut for her rather pretty white hair. I should have stopped looking when I reached her neck but I am a person who loves people watching. She was wearing a T shirt with cut outs where the shoulders would be. Her black bra straps were showing as well as skin that was lets just say not smooth as a peach. The outfit was completed with 3/4 pants that I couldn't really see and orthopedic looking sandals. Of course the crowning glory was the hat she put on as she was getting off. And you know she thought she looked cute!
Yes even we are allowed our fashion faux pas. God knows I have probably offended someone's eyes by something I shouldn't be wearing. But for God's sake there has to be something between dressing like your 12 and dressing like a little old lady. At the very least don't mix the two styles. Just say no to orthopedic sandals with a peek a boo shirt! And toss any magazine that tries to tell you how to dress solely based on age. We managed to get this far so lets do it with a little flare!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
TV: Circa Me Growing Up...Okay and Probably You Too!
Are you done smiling yet? I got a few more for you.
The Mod Squad
Honey West
Farmers Daughter
Love American Style
Mannix
My Favorite Martian
Dark Shadows
Hazel
And for girls who loved their gogo boots I give you Where The Action Is and Hullabaloo!
This may have been the easiest blog post I've written. I wonder which of these shows stands the test of time!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
What's my number?
I recently came across a list of questions that were aimed, so the list maker decreed, at opening your mind. Admittedly there are things in my mind that should stay locked up! So lets just say I'm willing to open the door a crack to let some fresh air in!
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are? Great question. Now the pressure is on! What's my answer?
I'm occasionally shocked at my chronological age. I'm not quite sure how I got here. Everyone has heard that platitude about the number not mattering, its all about how you feel inside. Inside I feel 16! People will always give you a different age for how they feel inside. Some will say 18 or 20 for example. There's always a reason for whatever number you pick. Its not totally random.
The main reason I feel 16 is because that was the age I really went out into the world. I felt like there were so many options to explore. I still feel that way which is why I have that connection to being 16. I'm not done yet. By 16 I was starting to discover my passions. The things in life I am drawn to and they haven't changed very much. I started really discovering who I was and now I am rediscovering that very same thing.
So is the answer to the question 16 for me? No. I'm at an age where I'm in a committed relationship and we are (re)discovering what that means after all these years. You could say I am childless, meaning that my children are no longer kids. I have adults not kids! I am embarking on some new ventures. Sometimes I have to fight against preconceptions of my chronological age. If I had to make a guess I would say all this puts me somewhere in my twenties.
As I write this I have to honestly tell you that it feels a bit like mental masturbation! Hey, don't blame me, I don't make these expressions up! , Truth is it doesn't matter what your answer is, what matters is that you shouldn't let a number rule your life. Damn, who turned on the lights in here?! Consider this mind open for business, although it is a work in progress.
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are? Great question. Now the pressure is on! What's my answer?
I'm occasionally shocked at my chronological age. I'm not quite sure how I got here. Everyone has heard that platitude about the number not mattering, its all about how you feel inside. Inside I feel 16! People will always give you a different age for how they feel inside. Some will say 18 or 20 for example. There's always a reason for whatever number you pick. Its not totally random.
The main reason I feel 16 is because that was the age I really went out into the world. I felt like there were so many options to explore. I still feel that way which is why I have that connection to being 16. I'm not done yet. By 16 I was starting to discover my passions. The things in life I am drawn to and they haven't changed very much. I started really discovering who I was and now I am rediscovering that very same thing.
So is the answer to the question 16 for me? No. I'm at an age where I'm in a committed relationship and we are (re)discovering what that means after all these years. You could say I am childless, meaning that my children are no longer kids. I have adults not kids! I am embarking on some new ventures. Sometimes I have to fight against preconceptions of my chronological age. If I had to make a guess I would say all this puts me somewhere in my twenties.
As I write this I have to honestly tell you that it feels a bit like mental masturbation! Hey, don't blame me, I don't make these expressions up! , Truth is it doesn't matter what your answer is, what matters is that you shouldn't let a number rule your life. Damn, who turned on the lights in here?! Consider this mind open for business, although it is a work in progress.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
In No Particular Order
This is a list for women who haven't reached what I like to call the Hawaiian years yet, as in Hawaii 5-0. Aloha Dano! Its a little something to keep in mind so you're ready when you get here. If you already have your hula skirt on then check the list anyway.
1.Tricep push ups. I don't care how thin you are if you don't do these you will have saggy arms.
2.Quit smoking. You might get to live to 50 if you stop smoking but thats not why its on the list. Quit so that when you get here you won't be all wrinkled.
3.Wear a bikini. See number 4 for the reason.
4.Take a picture in your bikini. I carry mine in my wallet! Then I can pull it out and say "SEE!" I rocked that bikini and I can prove it.
5.Learn how to have an orgasm. You'll be a happier person when you get here! There are a surprising number of women in all age groups who haven't found what's right for them. This may have to be a do it yourself project but make like the Nike ad.
6.Make love in a place you shouldn't. Obviously its fun but you also get a story to tell later on.
7.Dance. At a club or in the privacy of your own home. There's something joyful in doing it and we all need more joy in our lives. It keeps you connected to the body you've been shlepping around all these year!
8.Travel. Everyone should have a good road trip story to tell. One great thing about aging is having history. Your history is in your stories.
9.Keep a journal or write a blog.
10. Demonstrate. Care about something so much you're willing to hit the streets for your cause. Being passionate about something makes you feel alive.
11.Decide never to lie about your age.
12. Never throw out your favorite jeans. They will come back in style. How I wish I still had my first pair of bell bottoms. There is no way in hell they would ever fit but what a piece of history.
13. Find your style. I love fashion but my style will always be slightly hippie chic with a little grunge mixed in.
14.Hang on to old friends. They know all the old stories because they're in them and so they love hearing you tell them. As the years go by the stories get better and the laughter gets louder!
Okay well that's it! Don't say you haven't been warned!
1.Tricep push ups. I don't care how thin you are if you don't do these you will have saggy arms.
2.Quit smoking. You might get to live to 50 if you stop smoking but thats not why its on the list. Quit so that when you get here you won't be all wrinkled.
3.Wear a bikini. See number 4 for the reason.
4.Take a picture in your bikini. I carry mine in my wallet! Then I can pull it out and say "SEE!" I rocked that bikini and I can prove it.
5.Learn how to have an orgasm. You'll be a happier person when you get here! There are a surprising number of women in all age groups who haven't found what's right for them. This may have to be a do it yourself project but make like the Nike ad.
6.Make love in a place you shouldn't. Obviously its fun but you also get a story to tell later on.
7.Dance. At a club or in the privacy of your own home. There's something joyful in doing it and we all need more joy in our lives. It keeps you connected to the body you've been shlepping around all these year!
8.Travel. Everyone should have a good road trip story to tell. One great thing about aging is having history. Your history is in your stories.
9.Keep a journal or write a blog.
10. Demonstrate. Care about something so much you're willing to hit the streets for your cause. Being passionate about something makes you feel alive.
11.Decide never to lie about your age.
12. Never throw out your favorite jeans. They will come back in style. How I wish I still had my first pair of bell bottoms. There is no way in hell they would ever fit but what a piece of history.
13. Find your style. I love fashion but my style will always be slightly hippie chic with a little grunge mixed in.
14.Hang on to old friends. They know all the old stories because they're in them and so they love hearing you tell them. As the years go by the stories get better and the laughter gets louder!
Okay well that's it! Don't say you haven't been warned!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Teenage Angst Redux
Everyone has a story from their teenage years that follows them into adulthood. This is my story.
It was Junior High School and me and the rest of the midgets were starting to grow up. We were leaving our Danskin sets behind for mini skirts and bell bottoms. In fact the school dress code now allowed girls to wear pants to school! Best of all we were finally old enough to go to teen night at the "Y"! We had arrived!
So there I was in my bell bottoms that were bought in the Village. Not *a* village but *the* Village which for non New Yorkers refers to Greenwich Village the bastion of hippie coolness in the days when they were cool. I carry a little hippie- ness with me to this day and I wear it proudly. Getting back to the matter at hand, I found myself not only in new cool clothes but also crushing on a kid named Simon. He was way cooler than his name would imply. So its with that crush in hand that I went to a dance at the Y.
Luckily I was not left at the sidelines at the dance. I was not a pretty flower hovering by the wall because Harold Walker asked me to dance. This is the moment when it starts to get interesting. Harold was Simon's best friend. In fact anyone who knew them back then would say they were like brothers. Harold pretty much lived at Simon's house. It honestly never occurred to me that Harold was interested in me. All that I thought was that dancing with Harold would get me closer to Simon. It sounds callous but it was really just stupidity mixed with my slightly awkward teenage sense of myself. But really, why else would he have danced so much with me? If I only knew then what I know now!
One small detail you'll need to know about Harold. He was African American or as we said then Black. The next night I got a call from Harold asking me out. I said no. After all it wasn't Harold I wanted to go out with but his best friend Simon. Then it happened. Simon called me. This was not the moment I had been waiting for because all Simon wanted to know was why I wouldn't go out with Harold. My 14 year old self wasn't going to tell Simon the truth. What was I stupid? I think that fact is already well established! Since I had no logical explanation for my behavior Simon filled in the blanks. I was prejudiced. I didn't go out with Harold because he was Black. Nothing I said changed Simon's mind. In fact the only thing that could have changed his mind was the truth. However at 14 I would rather let him think I was prejudice than let him know I liked him.
As an adult I have often thought about Harold Walker. I doubt he even remembers the incident. Still I would love to be able to tell him the truth. I did look for him. I looked for Simon too, figuring that where there's Simon there's Harold. I found Simon. I told him the whole story and he got mad! Well in a good way. He said that by not telling him the truth I stole from him the possible opportunity of being with the love of his life! Who knows what direction our lives would have taken had we gotten together! As if! As if he was even remotely interested in me at the time. Sweet nonetheless. The 14 year old in me was flattered!
Unfortunately Simon lost track of Harold. That saddened me. Finding Harold has been an impossible task. With a name like Harold Walker it's like finding a needle in a haystack. I'm not sure this tale of teenage angst will ever get closure. I'll always think of Harold and I smile when I do. He was a great guy. My loss and my gain. I gained by learning from this experience. Oh there were plenty of other times I screwed up but I never made this mistake again. Here's to you Harold Walker!
It was Junior High School and me and the rest of the midgets were starting to grow up. We were leaving our Danskin sets behind for mini skirts and bell bottoms. In fact the school dress code now allowed girls to wear pants to school! Best of all we were finally old enough to go to teen night at the "Y"! We had arrived!
So there I was in my bell bottoms that were bought in the Village. Not *a* village but *the* Village which for non New Yorkers refers to Greenwich Village the bastion of hippie coolness in the days when they were cool. I carry a little hippie- ness with me to this day and I wear it proudly. Getting back to the matter at hand, I found myself not only in new cool clothes but also crushing on a kid named Simon. He was way cooler than his name would imply. So its with that crush in hand that I went to a dance at the Y.
Luckily I was not left at the sidelines at the dance. I was not a pretty flower hovering by the wall because Harold Walker asked me to dance. This is the moment when it starts to get interesting. Harold was Simon's best friend. In fact anyone who knew them back then would say they were like brothers. Harold pretty much lived at Simon's house. It honestly never occurred to me that Harold was interested in me. All that I thought was that dancing with Harold would get me closer to Simon. It sounds callous but it was really just stupidity mixed with my slightly awkward teenage sense of myself. But really, why else would he have danced so much with me? If I only knew then what I know now!
One small detail you'll need to know about Harold. He was African American or as we said then Black. The next night I got a call from Harold asking me out. I said no. After all it wasn't Harold I wanted to go out with but his best friend Simon. Then it happened. Simon called me. This was not the moment I had been waiting for because all Simon wanted to know was why I wouldn't go out with Harold. My 14 year old self wasn't going to tell Simon the truth. What was I stupid? I think that fact is already well established! Since I had no logical explanation for my behavior Simon filled in the blanks. I was prejudiced. I didn't go out with Harold because he was Black. Nothing I said changed Simon's mind. In fact the only thing that could have changed his mind was the truth. However at 14 I would rather let him think I was prejudice than let him know I liked him.
As an adult I have often thought about Harold Walker. I doubt he even remembers the incident. Still I would love to be able to tell him the truth. I did look for him. I looked for Simon too, figuring that where there's Simon there's Harold. I found Simon. I told him the whole story and he got mad! Well in a good way. He said that by not telling him the truth I stole from him the possible opportunity of being with the love of his life! Who knows what direction our lives would have taken had we gotten together! As if! As if he was even remotely interested in me at the time. Sweet nonetheless. The 14 year old in me was flattered!
Unfortunately Simon lost track of Harold. That saddened me. Finding Harold has been an impossible task. With a name like Harold Walker it's like finding a needle in a haystack. I'm not sure this tale of teenage angst will ever get closure. I'll always think of Harold and I smile when I do. He was a great guy. My loss and my gain. I gained by learning from this experience. Oh there were plenty of other times I screwed up but I never made this mistake again. Here's to you Harold Walker!
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Are We Old Enough Yet?
You've all seen this %$#*/#! on Facebook or Twitter. If not then for sure you've seen STFU or WTF or maybe effin something or other. My personal favorite is F**k! Okay people its time to *use your words* !
I agree that at times curse words are inappropriate, like around little kids. Surprisingly I had only one major FAIL in that department when my kids were growing up. We were all having breakfast at Denny's, my husband, the kiddies, a friend of his and yours truly. Said friend was regaling us with a story of how he royally screwed up with this girl he was seeing. Now in my defense I will say that I hadn't had any coffee yet! Anyway, I looked at him and said these words"If I was her I would have told you to go fuck yourself!" For a moment there was dead silence. My husband and his friend were just staring at me not saying a word. Why? What? ran through my mind. He really was being a jerk! Then the realization set in. I looked down to the right of me and to the left of me and saw two tiny faces staring up at me! I only wish I could have seen the look on my face! So cursing around kids is out even if at times it leaves us stuttering in search of an appropriate substitute.
If you want to keep what you are writing office or family friendly then choose different words. Even elementary school kids know what all those abbreviations mean and they are better at it than we are! One of my favorite lines from Modern Family is when Phil says that WTF is Why The Face! I LMAO at that one! So really, in this situation just say no to cursing and pretending you're not.
Another example where you should just say no is when you want to curse but are afraid you might offend someone. Someone offended by curse words will be just as offended by your use of f**k as if you actually wrote it out. A ourse word is still a curse word no matter how you spell it. The only one you are kidding is yourself. And no, it doesn't make you more refined. Your mother would still wash your mouth out with soap!
Only on twitter should abbreviations like WTF or STFU be used because one is confined to using only #140 characters. However there should be no fake spelling of a word using other symbols in place of letters allowed.
If you are grown up then you have earned the right to curse when you want to. Fuck yeah! Now isn't that better than f**k yeah? No shit, just go for it! Thats why we curse anyway, to let off steam. If you only do it symbolically you still have all that steam and whatever building up inside of you. In fact I think cursing could make you a happier person. Go out there and express yourselves once in a while. Be creative. Find a mother fucking cool curse word and use it! Warning: Overuse will take away the healing qualities of a good curse word. You will appear to be illiterate. Use them wisely!
I agree that at times curse words are inappropriate, like around little kids. Surprisingly I had only one major FAIL in that department when my kids were growing up. We were all having breakfast at Denny's, my husband, the kiddies, a friend of his and yours truly. Said friend was regaling us with a story of how he royally screwed up with this girl he was seeing. Now in my defense I will say that I hadn't had any coffee yet! Anyway, I looked at him and said these words"If I was her I would have told you to go fuck yourself!" For a moment there was dead silence. My husband and his friend were just staring at me not saying a word. Why? What? ran through my mind. He really was being a jerk! Then the realization set in. I looked down to the right of me and to the left of me and saw two tiny faces staring up at me! I only wish I could have seen the look on my face! So cursing around kids is out even if at times it leaves us stuttering in search of an appropriate substitute.
If you want to keep what you are writing office or family friendly then choose different words. Even elementary school kids know what all those abbreviations mean and they are better at it than we are! One of my favorite lines from Modern Family is when Phil says that WTF is Why The Face! I LMAO at that one! So really, in this situation just say no to cursing and pretending you're not.
Another example where you should just say no is when you want to curse but are afraid you might offend someone. Someone offended by curse words will be just as offended by your use of f**k as if you actually wrote it out. A ourse word is still a curse word no matter how you spell it. The only one you are kidding is yourself. And no, it doesn't make you more refined. Your mother would still wash your mouth out with soap!
Only on twitter should abbreviations like WTF or STFU be used because one is confined to using only #140 characters. However there should be no fake spelling of a word using other symbols in place of letters allowed.
If you are grown up then you have earned the right to curse when you want to. Fuck yeah! Now isn't that better than f**k yeah? No shit, just go for it! Thats why we curse anyway, to let off steam. If you only do it symbolically you still have all that steam and whatever building up inside of you. In fact I think cursing could make you a happier person. Go out there and express yourselves once in a while. Be creative. Find a mother fucking cool curse word and use it! Warning: Overuse will take away the healing qualities of a good curse word. You will appear to be illiterate. Use them wisely!
Monday, June 21, 2010
Sexual Healing
Female viagra. Yes ladies and gentlemen, step right up and join the new sexual revolution. History shows us it always starts with a pill!
Sorry ladies, this pill does not guarantee an orgasm. What it apparently does is increase sexual desire. Apparently there is a group of women out there with very low sex drives. The drug companies gave it a name that they shortened to HSDD and then they set out to find a cure. What they managed to come up with is Flibanserin,. Ironically a decidedly unsexy name. I've never had a low sex drive but there are women that have this problem. Since becoming a member of the "I don't have to worry about getting pregnant anymore club" I have heard from other female members who have seen a decline in their desire to engage in sex. Its a lack of hormones thing that effects some women in that particular way. So do we need this pill?
I can't help but think this pill was developed by a man. The pill makes a woman desire sex more. Chalk that up to a win for the guys. It means more sex for them! If they really wanted to help women they would have developed a pill that guarantees an orgasm. So we're still left needing a guy with a good pair of hands and the responsibility of showing them how to use those hands.
For women, the biggest sexual organ is their brain. The turn on starts up top and works its way down. Having a pill that could quiet our overworked organ would be a plus. Leave all the good thoughts and tell the rest to STFU! For me personally I would like to gag the voice in my head that says"Um, hey you over there having fun, how does that love handle look when you're in that position?!" Forget gagging it, I want it waterboarded and then sliced up by Dexter. He only kills other killers and this voice is a mood killer. But alas, no such pill. Maybe we need more female scientists.
So for now I think this pill is really only for a specific group of women and hopefully it will have a positive effect for them. As to the rest of us I think we need to work with what we already have. Maybe a nice relaxing glass of wine. Openness about your sexual needs with your partner because he cannot read your mind no matter how hard you concentrate. Of course I can hear that voice in my head saying "Thats all fine, but you can't shut me up!" Well actually I can. I can do extra ab work but better than that I can remember that after almost thirty years my partner still wants some!
Sorry ladies, this pill does not guarantee an orgasm. What it apparently does is increase sexual desire. Apparently there is a group of women out there with very low sex drives. The drug companies gave it a name that they shortened to HSDD and then they set out to find a cure. What they managed to come up with is Flibanserin,. Ironically a decidedly unsexy name. I've never had a low sex drive but there are women that have this problem. Since becoming a member of the "I don't have to worry about getting pregnant anymore club" I have heard from other female members who have seen a decline in their desire to engage in sex. Its a lack of hormones thing that effects some women in that particular way. So do we need this pill?
I can't help but think this pill was developed by a man. The pill makes a woman desire sex more. Chalk that up to a win for the guys. It means more sex for them! If they really wanted to help women they would have developed a pill that guarantees an orgasm. So we're still left needing a guy with a good pair of hands and the responsibility of showing them how to use those hands.
For women, the biggest sexual organ is their brain. The turn on starts up top and works its way down. Having a pill that could quiet our overworked organ would be a plus. Leave all the good thoughts and tell the rest to STFU! For me personally I would like to gag the voice in my head that says"Um, hey you over there having fun, how does that love handle look when you're in that position?!" Forget gagging it, I want it waterboarded and then sliced up by Dexter. He only kills other killers and this voice is a mood killer. But alas, no such pill. Maybe we need more female scientists.
So for now I think this pill is really only for a specific group of women and hopefully it will have a positive effect for them. As to the rest of us I think we need to work with what we already have. Maybe a nice relaxing glass of wine. Openness about your sexual needs with your partner because he cannot read your mind no matter how hard you concentrate. Of course I can hear that voice in my head saying "Thats all fine, but you can't shut me up!" Well actually I can. I can do extra ab work but better than that I can remember that after almost thirty years my partner still wants some!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
The Big Chill
I thought I'd use a cutesy title to talk about a subject no one wants to talk about. The D word. Death. One thing we all face when we reach our fifties is that we have more history than future! Not something we want to think about. Its definitely not something we should endlessly dwell on but it needs to be acknowledged.
For all of us life begins at the same point, birth, and ends at the same point, death. The rest is all journey. Mr Shuster take a bow. If you don't know who he is then you aren't watching Glee. TV isn't real life but those words ring true because we are on a journey. Each of us gets to decide what our journey will be like. We have travelled a long way to get to this point. Now is a good time to see what else we want to do on the rest of our journey. Ignoring the end point doesn't make the journey better. It might mean that you'll miss out on something. What I'm telling you is this,what you did on the journey so far is great. What you missed doing is not so great but you're still here with plenty of opportunity. Don't miss your stop because you thought the train was going to go around forever.
I once had a talk with my kids about death. Specifically mine. With the movie The Big Chill in mind I told them I wanted a GreenDay song played at my funeral because the words spoke to me about this journey called life. "Its something unpredictable, but in the end is right. I hope you had the time of your life." Life is unpredictable. That's the beauty of it. Now move it! Go have the time of your life!
For all of us life begins at the same point, birth, and ends at the same point, death. The rest is all journey. Mr Shuster take a bow. If you don't know who he is then you aren't watching Glee. TV isn't real life but those words ring true because we are on a journey. Each of us gets to decide what our journey will be like. We have travelled a long way to get to this point. Now is a good time to see what else we want to do on the rest of our journey. Ignoring the end point doesn't make the journey better. It might mean that you'll miss out on something. What I'm telling you is this,what you did on the journey so far is great. What you missed doing is not so great but you're still here with plenty of opportunity. Don't miss your stop because you thought the train was going to go around forever.
I once had a talk with my kids about death. Specifically mine. With the movie The Big Chill in mind I told them I wanted a GreenDay song played at my funeral because the words spoke to me about this journey called life. "Its something unpredictable, but in the end is right. I hope you had the time of your life." Life is unpredictable. That's the beauty of it. Now move it! Go have the time of your life!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
What Am I, twelve?!!
Don't mind the noise. It's just me banging my head against the wall! Yes folks, I am the definition of insanity. Its when you do the same thing over and over thinking each time you'll get different results, but you never do.
"What did she do now?!" You don't have to say it out loud. I can hear the little voice inside your head. Hearing voices is okay as long as I don't hear them in *my* head. Since inquiring minds want to know, what I did was not keep my mouth shut. I'm pretty sure something like this has happened to all of us at one time in our lives. You know it won't end well but there you are with your mouth open and there are words coming out. The fact that I was right has very little to do with it. I acted wrong and I should have known better. Actually, I think I did know better somewhere deep down but the message never got to my brain fast enough!
So what do I make of all this? Well for one thing I guess you never lose your inner child. Mine came out to play this week and when I ordered her to go she told me to "act my age, not my shoe size!" If nothing else I entertained my husband and another good friend with my "what was I thinking" tale of woe. As far as they are concerned that's the only important thing. I feel like there should be some kind of lesson that comes with this story. I guess you could have someone with you at all times who will administer an electric shock whenever you're about to act stupidly. Or just laugh at yourself. It hurts less and face it, there just isn't enough time left to waste on perfecting this whole grown up thing!
"What did she do now?!" You don't have to say it out loud. I can hear the little voice inside your head. Hearing voices is okay as long as I don't hear them in *my* head. Since inquiring minds want to know, what I did was not keep my mouth shut. I'm pretty sure something like this has happened to all of us at one time in our lives. You know it won't end well but there you are with your mouth open and there are words coming out. The fact that I was right has very little to do with it. I acted wrong and I should have known better. Actually, I think I did know better somewhere deep down but the message never got to my brain fast enough!
So what do I make of all this? Well for one thing I guess you never lose your inner child. Mine came out to play this week and when I ordered her to go she told me to "act my age, not my shoe size!" If nothing else I entertained my husband and another good friend with my "what was I thinking" tale of woe. As far as they are concerned that's the only important thing. I feel like there should be some kind of lesson that comes with this story. I guess you could have someone with you at all times who will administer an electric shock whenever you're about to act stupidly. Or just laugh at yourself. It hurts less and face it, there just isn't enough time left to waste on perfecting this whole grown up thing!
Friday, June 4, 2010
What Do You Want To Be After You've Grown Up?
I'm a grown up. I have done all the growing "up" there is to do. Sideways, that's another story! I'm so grown up even my kids are officially grown ups. So what happens when someone like me wants to do something different with their lives?
We spend a lot of time while growing up thinking about what we want to be when we get there. Then we get there and most of us settle in to whatever it is that we got ourselves into! Life happens. Some people find their true calling early on and go for it. They do what they love and love what they do. Others look at work as a job, a means to an end. Hopefully they like what they do even if it doesn't exactly fulfill all their expectations. Like I said, life happens. Kids, mortgages,kids,responsibilities and kids!
What happens if you wake up one day and say to your very grown up self "I want to change what I do." " I need to change what I do!" "I can't do this anymore!" I've said all of those things. Now I'm saying them out loud. I want to be a writer. I could go into a long explanation of my life and why I never became a writer. Its just not important. There are no do overs in life but more importantly life isn't over yet!
This blog was in part a step toward becoming a writer. I love writing this blog. If nothing else it should be interesting to see how all of this pans out. Do I write a book? How about a screenplay? Freelance? All of the above? So take notice and take cover! I put it in print! I've gone on record. There will be a change in my life and not just *the change* !
We spend a lot of time while growing up thinking about what we want to be when we get there. Then we get there and most of us settle in to whatever it is that we got ourselves into! Life happens. Some people find their true calling early on and go for it. They do what they love and love what they do. Others look at work as a job, a means to an end. Hopefully they like what they do even if it doesn't exactly fulfill all their expectations. Like I said, life happens. Kids, mortgages,kids,responsibilities and kids!
What happens if you wake up one day and say to your very grown up self "I want to change what I do." " I need to change what I do!" "I can't do this anymore!" I've said all of those things. Now I'm saying them out loud. I want to be a writer. I could go into a long explanation of my life and why I never became a writer. Its just not important. There are no do overs in life but more importantly life isn't over yet!
This blog was in part a step toward becoming a writer. I love writing this blog. If nothing else it should be interesting to see how all of this pans out. Do I write a book? How about a screenplay? Freelance? All of the above? So take notice and take cover! I put it in print! I've gone on record. There will be a change in my life and not just *the change* !
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Lets Hear It For The Boys!
When you start a new blog one issue you need to deal with is attracting readers. So I did the only natural thing, I put the word out on facebook so that friends I haven't seen in more than thirty years could read it! I don't think you could find a better test audience. If they hated it, so what? Another thirty odd years will go by till you see them again? Time and distance are great buffers for any negative feedback. I have been very fortunate because my old friends are either all very good liars or they genuinely enjoy the blog.
What surprised me was that guys were reading it too! The title makes it pretty clear who my target audience is. I may have to rethink that! Da boyz have been reading what I wrote. Most importantly they seem to identify with what I write about.
Conclusions? We are more alike than the differences in our anatomy would lead you to think. It may also have something to do with the good long standing relationships these guys have with the women in their lives. Whatever the reason, I raise my wine glass to all my friends who are reading this blog. Let this be a lesson to all of you. Treasure your old friends, the ones who knew you when you were too skinny and too awkward and they still liked you! Now if I could only get them to follow the blog.... Hint:Look on the right side of the page under About Me and the list of blog posts!
What surprised me was that guys were reading it too! The title makes it pretty clear who my target audience is. I may have to rethink that! Da boyz have been reading what I wrote. Most importantly they seem to identify with what I write about.
Conclusions? We are more alike than the differences in our anatomy would lead you to think. It may also have something to do with the good long standing relationships these guys have with the women in their lives. Whatever the reason, I raise my wine glass to all my friends who are reading this blog. Let this be a lesson to all of you. Treasure your old friends, the ones who knew you when you were too skinny and too awkward and they still liked you! Now if I could only get them to follow the blog.... Hint:Look on the right side of the page under About Me and the list of blog posts!
Friday, May 28, 2010
What 2 Do When You're Feeling Old
No seriously, what do you do? I left the question mark out of the title. Now it looks as if this is an advice column. You all probably thought I would impart some kind of wisdom. Well it won't be the first time you're ever wrong and (I can't help myself!) it won't be the last!
So here's the skinny. I wanted to change my avatar on twitter. This means a new picture which for me is an experience similar to water boarding. I am freakishly unphotogenic! I dislike 99% of all pictures taken of me. Maybe its that I prefer to live under the illusion that I look better than I really do! Welcome to the party in my head! So I put on a bit of makeup and got out my trusty Mac to take a picture with a nifty little app called Photo Booth. I took 16 pictures. Some with my glasses and some without.
Then the real fun began as I went through them to see if there were any I liked. It was like the elimination judging on America's Next Top Model except that all the judges in my head were the equivalent of Simon Cowell on a bad night of Idol. I saw some things I don't usually see when I look in the mirror. I began to see changes in my face. What I saw were the effects of gravity that my face has been exposed to for these 53 years. Not a lot but enough for me to take notice.
In the evening my unsuspecting husband came home. I told him about my venture in photography. He thinks I am crazy but he's known that about me for a very long time and yet he stayed! When he asked about the pictures I voiced my fears out loud. " I look old" is what I told him with a few tears in my eyes. My husband was great. He said and did all the right things. Still it didn't help. He's good at denying. He denied his receding hairline for years!
So what did I do ? Basically I went to sleep and woke up the next morning minus the monkey on my back! As I drifted off to sleep I admit to fantasizing about a plastic surgery procedure that didn't involve knives or injecting poison into my face. The fantasy also included me having enough money to afford this new procedure . That's how I know it was a fantasy! I guess that we're all going to have these moments. Short of plastic surgery there isn't a damn thing we can do about it. So be nice to yourself. Forgive your face for what its about to do.
So here's the skinny. I wanted to change my avatar on twitter. This means a new picture which for me is an experience similar to water boarding. I am freakishly unphotogenic! I dislike 99% of all pictures taken of me. Maybe its that I prefer to live under the illusion that I look better than I really do! Welcome to the party in my head! So I put on a bit of makeup and got out my trusty Mac to take a picture with a nifty little app called Photo Booth. I took 16 pictures. Some with my glasses and some without.
Then the real fun began as I went through them to see if there were any I liked. It was like the elimination judging on America's Next Top Model except that all the judges in my head were the equivalent of Simon Cowell on a bad night of Idol. I saw some things I don't usually see when I look in the mirror. I began to see changes in my face. What I saw were the effects of gravity that my face has been exposed to for these 53 years. Not a lot but enough for me to take notice.
In the evening my unsuspecting husband came home. I told him about my venture in photography. He thinks I am crazy but he's known that about me for a very long time and yet he stayed! When he asked about the pictures I voiced my fears out loud. " I look old" is what I told him with a few tears in my eyes. My husband was great. He said and did all the right things. Still it didn't help. He's good at denying. He denied his receding hairline for years!
So what did I do ? Basically I went to sleep and woke up the next morning minus the monkey on my back! As I drifted off to sleep I admit to fantasizing about a plastic surgery procedure that didn't involve knives or injecting poison into my face. The fantasy also included me having enough money to afford this new procedure . That's how I know it was a fantasy! I guess that we're all going to have these moments. Short of plastic surgery there isn't a damn thing we can do about it. So be nice to yourself. Forgive your face for what its about to do.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Cougar Town
So its a thing now and It has a name. Older women with younger men are cougars. I am a cougar hear me roar! Three questions come to mind. Could I? Would I? Should I? Well the should I is really only there for effect. I should not. I have a guy who for reasons unknown to me likes me just the way I am. Not something you drop at the mere sight of some young six pack abs with bedroom eyes. Hmmmm. Huh? What? Where was I? Well I was right here with you of course telling you about the husband I adore. Yada yada yada. I love him (my husband). You know that. Lets move on.
Part of me is like "You go girl!" Men have been doing the same thing since I've been alive and we all know that it's been a very long time already! For the most part men look pretty stupid dating really young women but hey we fought for the right to be equally stupid! Face it, It looks like fun. I think I have always had a secret desire to be a teacher! There is a part of me that was always willing to try something at least once! It's an ego boost. Young stud wants me an older woman. In this fantasy I have a smaller butt and larger boobs! So I guess given the proper lighting and to answer the first question I guess I could.
Ah yes, but would I? If I was suddenly single would I go for a younger man? I wouldn't go looking for it but I've learned one thing in this long life, never say never. For me the ego boost would give way to my vanity. This may sound odd coming from me, the poster girl for low maintenance. I couldn't handle the inevitable signs of aging that would contrast with his lack of them. I can hear you guys saying "Oh but what if its just for fun? A quick fling maybe?" I love eye candy as much as the next cougar but I have to genuinely like someone I'm going to be with. Since with few exceptions the relationship will eventually end who do you think will be hurt more? The old broad. The young guy gets to just saunter off into the sunset only to find some pretty young thing waiting for him. That and now he has a story to tell.
So here's to you Mrs Robinson for doing what I won't. Sorry Lee Dewyse! I'm such a heartbreaker, if only in my own mind!
Part of me is like "You go girl!" Men have been doing the same thing since I've been alive and we all know that it's been a very long time already! For the most part men look pretty stupid dating really young women but hey we fought for the right to be equally stupid! Face it, It looks like fun. I think I have always had a secret desire to be a teacher! There is a part of me that was always willing to try something at least once! It's an ego boost. Young stud wants me an older woman. In this fantasy I have a smaller butt and larger boobs! So I guess given the proper lighting and to answer the first question I guess I could.
Ah yes, but would I? If I was suddenly single would I go for a younger man? I wouldn't go looking for it but I've learned one thing in this long life, never say never. For me the ego boost would give way to my vanity. This may sound odd coming from me, the poster girl for low maintenance. I couldn't handle the inevitable signs of aging that would contrast with his lack of them. I can hear you guys saying "Oh but what if its just for fun? A quick fling maybe?" I love eye candy as much as the next cougar but I have to genuinely like someone I'm going to be with. Since with few exceptions the relationship will eventually end who do you think will be hurt more? The old broad. The young guy gets to just saunter off into the sunset only to find some pretty young thing waiting for him. That and now he has a story to tell.
So here's to you Mrs Robinson for doing what I won't. Sorry Lee Dewyse! I'm such a heartbreaker, if only in my own mind!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Sex In The Menopausal City
Recently I exposed myself. Get your mind out of the gutter people...although this post is about sex. Okay then, minds back in the gutter but what I meant was not what you think. Said exposure was by letting my friends in on my blog. One of my friends said we need a TV show that is kind of like Sex in the City meets For Women My Age. Then yet another friend decided laughingly that it should be called Sex and the City...The Menopausal Years! So now you know how I got from point A to point B!
I know nothing about what sex is like for other women my age, at least not in any scientific I can prove it kind of way. I know about myself and I know what I think it should be like for women my age. There were a lot of factors that got us to this sexual point in time.
When we were younger and just starting out we had hot bodies but few of us really knew how to use them to the fullest extent. Ah ,youth is wasted on the young! Then we matured and with our hot bodies still intact we reached our sexual prime which hopefully also meant we learned how to use what God gave us. Then for a vast majority including myself came the child bearing/ child rearing years. If anything can put a damper on your sex life it's kids which ironically is how you get kids in the first place! I for one spent the vast majority of those years when my kids were itty bitty in a chronically tired haze. No naps unless the kids napped which even then meant sleeping with one eye open just in case! For me the second sexual revolution came when my kids were old enough to get up on a Saturday morning, get some cereal and turn on the TV by themselves! As revolutions go it was a small one. I was indeed less tired which was an improvement. Just ask my husband! However spontaneity was gone. Like a total eclipse it was a rare event that happened when the stars aligned and both my kids had a sleepover on the same night! As long as the kids were still living at home it got worse the older they got not better. Older kids go to sleep later and later. I know you see where I'm going with this. Older kids also know things. So being quiet is essential.
I know there are women who did not marry or did not have kids. Their story will be vastly different. I'm not ignoring them but I leave it to one of them to blog about it since it would be foreign territory for me.
So now the kids are out of the house. Lets assume you still love the guy you married and want to have sex. This is where I think God screwed up. Menopause changes your body in ways we don't always like. Well at least you don't have to worry about an unwanted pregnancy, I'll give God that! Even men don't have a total advantage when it comes to sex and the aging process. One word. Viagra. So what does all of this have to do with God? I think he got some things backwards. I think that if you have raised your kids well and in general lived a good life your reward should be the hot sex life you had when you were starting out!
Since God missed the boat on that one its up to us to make it happen. Short of sounding like Dr Ruth Westheimer, I say go get laid with abandon! You earned it! Try something new or improve on the old. Leave your inhibition behind. We all know by now. that life is too short. Let the next sexual revolution begin!
I know nothing about what sex is like for other women my age, at least not in any scientific I can prove it kind of way. I know about myself and I know what I think it should be like for women my age. There were a lot of factors that got us to this sexual point in time.
When we were younger and just starting out we had hot bodies but few of us really knew how to use them to the fullest extent. Ah ,youth is wasted on the young! Then we matured and with our hot bodies still intact we reached our sexual prime which hopefully also meant we learned how to use what God gave us. Then for a vast majority including myself came the child bearing/ child rearing years. If anything can put a damper on your sex life it's kids which ironically is how you get kids in the first place! I for one spent the vast majority of those years when my kids were itty bitty in a chronically tired haze. No naps unless the kids napped which even then meant sleeping with one eye open just in case! For me the second sexual revolution came when my kids were old enough to get up on a Saturday morning, get some cereal and turn on the TV by themselves! As revolutions go it was a small one. I was indeed less tired which was an improvement. Just ask my husband! However spontaneity was gone. Like a total eclipse it was a rare event that happened when the stars aligned and both my kids had a sleepover on the same night! As long as the kids were still living at home it got worse the older they got not better. Older kids go to sleep later and later. I know you see where I'm going with this. Older kids also know things. So being quiet is essential.
I know there are women who did not marry or did not have kids. Their story will be vastly different. I'm not ignoring them but I leave it to one of them to blog about it since it would be foreign territory for me.
So now the kids are out of the house. Lets assume you still love the guy you married and want to have sex. This is where I think God screwed up. Menopause changes your body in ways we don't always like. Well at least you don't have to worry about an unwanted pregnancy, I'll give God that! Even men don't have a total advantage when it comes to sex and the aging process. One word. Viagra. So what does all of this have to do with God? I think he got some things backwards. I think that if you have raised your kids well and in general lived a good life your reward should be the hot sex life you had when you were starting out!
Since God missed the boat on that one its up to us to make it happen. Short of sounding like Dr Ruth Westheimer, I say go get laid with abandon! You earned it! Try something new or improve on the old. Leave your inhibition behind. We all know by now. that life is too short. Let the next sexual revolution begin!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
YES MA'AM
I remember the first time someone called me ma'am. I wish I had had the presence of mind to look around as if to see who he was talking to but alas I knew it was me! Yeah, I just stood there and took it like the meek little old lady I must have somehow become.
As I walked away from that encounter I felt a storm of emotions starting to brew inside me. None of it based on logic but that's emotion for you. On the one hand I was hurt. I am nothing like a ma'am. I don't dress like one and I don't act like one. Stupid idiot, could he not see that? Then came fear. Oh my God I have become my mother! Actually that happened one day when I was yelling at my kids and I heard my mother's voice coming out of my mouth! Add to the mix a feeling of frustration. This wasn't fair. I wasn't ready. Pity the fool that I bumped into next. He probably didn't know what hit him. All those emotions have quite a force and they don't leave physical marks!
Sometimes being a ma'am has its privileges. You can tell the noisy teens hanging outside your window to shut the fuck up and never have to worry if they think you are cool or not. They don't, but yes you are cool. So not every guy turns to look when you walk by. Yes I know you look great. However the ones that do look at you will be looking a little deeper because they recognize that there is something underneath the surface. If by chance you are having a bad hair day blame it on your ma'amhood! Even in becoming a ma'am there is a silver lining!
I think the moral of the story is that sticks and stones may break my bones but words are just words.
As I walked away from that encounter I felt a storm of emotions starting to brew inside me. None of it based on logic but that's emotion for you. On the one hand I was hurt. I am nothing like a ma'am. I don't dress like one and I don't act like one. Stupid idiot, could he not see that? Then came fear. Oh my God I have become my mother! Actually that happened one day when I was yelling at my kids and I heard my mother's voice coming out of my mouth! Add to the mix a feeling of frustration. This wasn't fair. I wasn't ready. Pity the fool that I bumped into next. He probably didn't know what hit him. All those emotions have quite a force and they don't leave physical marks!
Sometimes being a ma'am has its privileges. You can tell the noisy teens hanging outside your window to shut the fuck up and never have to worry if they think you are cool or not. They don't, but yes you are cool. So not every guy turns to look when you walk by. Yes I know you look great. However the ones that do look at you will be looking a little deeper because they recognize that there is something underneath the surface. If by chance you are having a bad hair day blame it on your ma'amhood! Even in becoming a ma'am there is a silver lining!
I think the moral of the story is that sticks and stones may break my bones but words are just words.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
ANYONE HOME?
Nope. Just me and my old man here. The nest is empty. The chicks have flown the coup. What to do, what to do? Everything that's what! Have sex in the middle of the day anywhere in the house. Play *your* music loud and don't forget to dance!
I love my kids. We have a blast when they come around. I didn't push them out of the nest but when they left of their own accord to start their lives I got mine back! From the day they are born till the day they go off to college and parts unknown your identity is locked in as being someones mother. For 24/7 that is who you are. No its not all of who you are but it is the biggest part.
Yes I know you are still Mom even though they aren't physically there. You worry about them and think about them which is going to happen until we die. Who knows, maybe after that too! What you won't be doing is all the mundane stuff that sucks the life out of you! No more chauffeuring. No more sweating out the answer to 'What's for dinner?" No more cleaning up after and best of all no more nagging about cleaning or any other chore left undone. Woohoo! So what happens with all this extra energy?
Shortly after mine moved out I found myself blasting some Motown and dancing. Midway I realized something. No one was asking me "WHAT are you listening to and WHAT are you doing?" You know I hadn't really danced just for the fun of it in twenty something years! When I realized this I kept dancing and I felt joyous! What was happening here? What was happening was simply me rediscovering who I am. Lucky for me I like this person who has been somewhat dormant. Even writing this blog is about being who I am and who I want to be. I love to dance and I love to write.
There is an old joke about a priest, a minister and a rabbi who are discussing when life begins. The priest of course says it begins at the moment of conception. The minister says it begins when the child is born. The rabbi thinks for a moment and says "Life begins when the kids go to college and the dog dies!" I really did LOL when I heard that joke. I still have the dog whom I love but I understood what the rabbi meant.
With the kids gone its finally your turn. Go for it. Dance! Write! Go back to school! Play an instrument! There's a whole world out there waiting for you. Yes you, you remember that person don't you? Now go be her. Me? I have to go blast some Hendrix and play a little air guitar.
.
I love my kids. We have a blast when they come around. I didn't push them out of the nest but when they left of their own accord to start their lives I got mine back! From the day they are born till the day they go off to college and parts unknown your identity is locked in as being someones mother. For 24/7 that is who you are. No its not all of who you are but it is the biggest part.
Yes I know you are still Mom even though they aren't physically there. You worry about them and think about them which is going to happen until we die. Who knows, maybe after that too! What you won't be doing is all the mundane stuff that sucks the life out of you! No more chauffeuring. No more sweating out the answer to 'What's for dinner?" No more cleaning up after and best of all no more nagging about cleaning or any other chore left undone. Woohoo! So what happens with all this extra energy?
Shortly after mine moved out I found myself blasting some Motown and dancing. Midway I realized something. No one was asking me "WHAT are you listening to and WHAT are you doing?" You know I hadn't really danced just for the fun of it in twenty something years! When I realized this I kept dancing and I felt joyous! What was happening here? What was happening was simply me rediscovering who I am. Lucky for me I like this person who has been somewhat dormant. Even writing this blog is about being who I am and who I want to be. I love to dance and I love to write.
There is an old joke about a priest, a minister and a rabbi who are discussing when life begins. The priest of course says it begins at the moment of conception. The minister says it begins when the child is born. The rabbi thinks for a moment and says "Life begins when the kids go to college and the dog dies!" I really did LOL when I heard that joke. I still have the dog whom I love but I understood what the rabbi meant.
With the kids gone its finally your turn. Go for it. Dance! Write! Go back to school! Play an instrument! There's a whole world out there waiting for you. Yes you, you remember that person don't you? Now go be her. Me? I have to go blast some Hendrix and play a little air guitar.
.
Monday, May 3, 2010
GREY, WHITE OR COLOR?
Women color their hair for fun and to experiment. That is at least in the beginning. At some age, it varies, you are coloring your hair to cover the grey. In my case it's white. After years of doing it, covering the oh so obvious sign of age I have started to think about when is enough enough?
I recall working with a woman in her forties who didn't color her white hair. Well kind of didn't since she had champagne colored highlights. The effect was stunning not old. Unfortunately for me and my olive complexion white really just makes my skin color fade into pale nothingness.
No bragging here but my face looks younger than it's 53 years. Barely there smile lines. That's it! Before you start asking me what kind of moisturizer I use I think it boils down to two main factors. The first is genetics. Something you can't buy in a bottle. The other is the fact that I stopped smoking in my twenties. You think it does bad things to your lungs? It's even worse on your skin. Yeah, that's a bit of an exaggeration. This all leads to the big question, If I look young, dress young and act young why not keep coloring my hair?
The only anti color point I can make is that I am pretty low maintenance. Even using the ten minute L'Oreal hair color at times seems like a burden! My roots show more often than not. Truthfully if I let it go and went white I'd be putting some brown lowlights around my face to keep me from fading away! That upkeep isn't low maintenance. What's a girl to do?
As of writing this post I will be going out and buying hair color. I'm decidedly not ready to be a little old lady. I may never be ready but one day it will happen whether my hair is brown or white. I just hope I'm cute!
I recall working with a woman in her forties who didn't color her white hair. Well kind of didn't since she had champagne colored highlights. The effect was stunning not old. Unfortunately for me and my olive complexion white really just makes my skin color fade into pale nothingness.
No bragging here but my face looks younger than it's 53 years. Barely there smile lines. That's it! Before you start asking me what kind of moisturizer I use I think it boils down to two main factors. The first is genetics. Something you can't buy in a bottle. The other is the fact that I stopped smoking in my twenties. You think it does bad things to your lungs? It's even worse on your skin. Yeah, that's a bit of an exaggeration. This all leads to the big question, If I look young, dress young and act young why not keep coloring my hair?
The only anti color point I can make is that I am pretty low maintenance. Even using the ten minute L'Oreal hair color at times seems like a burden! My roots show more often than not. Truthfully if I let it go and went white I'd be putting some brown lowlights around my face to keep me from fading away! That upkeep isn't low maintenance. What's a girl to do?
As of writing this post I will be going out and buying hair color. I'm decidedly not ready to be a little old lady. I may never be ready but one day it will happen whether my hair is brown or white. I just hope I'm cute!
Friday, April 30, 2010
SHOW US YOUR FACE
Remember when Facebook was for college kids? Now, well, not so much. In fact women our age are the fastest growing group on Facebook. That's the last *Factoid* I will be offering because as far as Facebook goes screw the statistics and have some fun.
I joined Facebook a few years ago. It started out as a networking thing. That in itself was fun. I joined different groups and got my name out there. I must confess that I am guilty of participation in Super Poke and Buy a Friend A Drink. Those days are thankfully over and with pride I can say that I don't farm or need any soldiers. For the yet uninitiated I am referring to Farmville and Mafia Wars. Two examples that prove you can get people to do almost anything. Right now I am more of a Facebook curmudgeon. Don't send me smiles, hugs or blessings. I'm going to ignore them. There, I said it. Now I have closure and can move on to the topic at hand.
I can't pinpoint exactly when it started but like dominoes, one after another I started reconnecting with my Elementary and Junior High School friends. Its been a blast. I am friends again with my first real best friend thanks to Facebook.Honestly, I never realized that I missed them until I started finding them again. With each new find we would giggle and shriek in a virtual little girl kind of way.
One of the things I like best is being the me I became over the years around these guys.. Part of me is still the 11, 12, 13 and 14 year old they knew. Now she just doesn't care as much about fitting in! My status updates on Facebook are my pride and joy. If they aren't funny I go without. So many of the old gang have told me how funny I am, like in a "who knew" kinda way. It happens when you shed your adolescent protective shell. Its a good thing about aging.
In a a purely anthropological way I have discovered that the nerds definitely inherited the earth. I like to see all the things the nerdy kids have accomplished although it is mixed with a wee bit of jealousy. Many of my old friends became teachers. The less nerdy ones. Not sure why. One of my old friends is openly gay, married to his partner and they have kids. Considering there was no Gay Pride when we grew up I think that's pretty cool. Another one of the guys, sweet, slightly geeky and on the small side shocked me when I saw a post high school picture of him. Six pack abs! I know because I counted! All I could tell myself was "What was I thinking!"
The dirty side of this Facebook thing is that while sitting in the safety of your own home you get to be judge and jury. Who looks good for their age and how is it they have no sagging or wrinkles. Even better, who didn't age well. Whose looks improved with age and who looks nothing like their younger selves. I can just hear myself thinking "hmm she gained a little weight." On occasion being bitchy is fun but its not the main reason to join Facebook.
The best reason to join Facebook is time travel. When talking with our old friends we might find ourselves back in the 60's in our fishnet stockings and go go boots dancing on the furniture in my room as if we were on Shindig or Hullabaloo! Wait, how did we all get into my room? Dance in my room we did, Go join Facebook if you aren't there already. There's nothing like feeling 16 again and without all the angst.
Social media rocks!
I joined Facebook a few years ago. It started out as a networking thing. That in itself was fun. I joined different groups and got my name out there. I must confess that I am guilty of participation in Super Poke and Buy a Friend A Drink. Those days are thankfully over and with pride I can say that I don't farm or need any soldiers. For the yet uninitiated I am referring to Farmville and Mafia Wars. Two examples that prove you can get people to do almost anything. Right now I am more of a Facebook curmudgeon. Don't send me smiles, hugs or blessings. I'm going to ignore them. There, I said it. Now I have closure and can move on to the topic at hand.
I can't pinpoint exactly when it started but like dominoes, one after another I started reconnecting with my Elementary and Junior High School friends. Its been a blast. I am friends again with my first real best friend thanks to Facebook.Honestly, I never realized that I missed them until I started finding them again. With each new find we would giggle and shriek in a virtual little girl kind of way.
One of the things I like best is being the me I became over the years around these guys.. Part of me is still the 11, 12, 13 and 14 year old they knew. Now she just doesn't care as much about fitting in! My status updates on Facebook are my pride and joy. If they aren't funny I go without. So many of the old gang have told me how funny I am, like in a "who knew" kinda way. It happens when you shed your adolescent protective shell. Its a good thing about aging.
In a a purely anthropological way I have discovered that the nerds definitely inherited the earth. I like to see all the things the nerdy kids have accomplished although it is mixed with a wee bit of jealousy. Many of my old friends became teachers. The less nerdy ones. Not sure why. One of my old friends is openly gay, married to his partner and they have kids. Considering there was no Gay Pride when we grew up I think that's pretty cool. Another one of the guys, sweet, slightly geeky and on the small side shocked me when I saw a post high school picture of him. Six pack abs! I know because I counted! All I could tell myself was "What was I thinking!"
The dirty side of this Facebook thing is that while sitting in the safety of your own home you get to be judge and jury. Who looks good for their age and how is it they have no sagging or wrinkles. Even better, who didn't age well. Whose looks improved with age and who looks nothing like their younger selves. I can just hear myself thinking "hmm she gained a little weight." On occasion being bitchy is fun but its not the main reason to join Facebook.
The best reason to join Facebook is time travel. When talking with our old friends we might find ourselves back in the 60's in our fishnet stockings and go go boots dancing on the furniture in my room as if we were on Shindig or Hullabaloo! Wait, how did we all get into my room? Dance in my room we did, Go join Facebook if you aren't there already. There's nothing like feeling 16 again and without all the angst.
Social media rocks!
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
YOUR INSTRUCTION MANUAL
Right off the bat I need to tell anyone with the word teen as part of their age: STOP READING! Go, be arrogantly young! Revel in your youth. Come back here when you're done. Hopefully I'll still be here!
If you are anywhere between twenty and forty something stay right here! Why you? You are still pretty young, yeah I get that. Read this blog so that if you're lucky enough to get here you'll come prepared. Knowledge is power.
So lets say you've hit the big five-o and Dano's not around to book 'em, this blog's for you! Sister we gotta talk! Okay so I'll be the one doing the talking. Anything and everything and occasionally in a Seinfeldian way I'll be talking about nothing in particular.
So now you know. Instruction completed.
If you are anywhere between twenty and forty something stay right here! Why you? You are still pretty young, yeah I get that. Read this blog so that if you're lucky enough to get here you'll come prepared. Knowledge is power.
So lets say you've hit the big five-o and Dano's not around to book 'em, this blog's for you! Sister we gotta talk! Okay so I'll be the one doing the talking. Anything and everything and occasionally in a Seinfeldian way I'll be talking about nothing in particular.
So now you know. Instruction completed.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)