Kindness

It started as my Facebook status. Well it started before that but a writer needs to know at what point to start a story. Otherwise we'd be back all the way to my birth on that glorious fall day! There was no Facebook then however, like that needed to be clarified! My Facebook status simply said "kindness is highly underrated."

As you can see there is no picture with this post. Kindness is one of those things that you can't hold in your hand like an object. It has no physical form yet we all know it when we see it. When we need it and there is none around we feel it as keenly as we do when it comes to us unexpectedly.

I was thinking about who I was before I wrote that status update. One of the first things that came to my mind was kind. Seems like such an insignificant thing. When we describe someone, lets say we're setting up a blind date, do we ever use the word kind? If we're bragging about our kids it's almost always about the college they got accepted to, the award they won or the job they got. Who brags about how kind there kid is? How about our partners, spouses or significant others? We describe them as really hot, or funny, or smart or all of the above. Uh kind? Maybe sweet as in he is so sweet to me he ____fill in the blank.

If you're kind you'll never have to worry if your kids will be their if you ever need them. They don't teach that at Harvard. Education is a good investment. So is kindness. Be kind so that when you have to make that call at 3am because your world is falling apart, someone, a friend, is going to pick up. If you love someone then be kind and handle their feelings with care. One day you're up and you're holding a royal flush and then one day... you're not.

Being kind is priceless because it costs nothing and means everything.

Rapcha This

I waited till all the rapture jokes died down to ponder this notion of the rapture. Actually not the rapture itself, but heaven. I mean, what's in it for me?

We've all thought about what heaven must be like. In my heaven I could walk in really high heels as if I were barefoot and Manolo Blahniks don't cost anything! Eating your favorite dessert would actually give you a slimmer body! All the pets I have had the privelege to own would be there for me to pet. On an intellectual level there would be all these amazing people you could meet. Think of the concerts!

Wait! Slamming on the breaks! The one thing we won't have in heaven is a corporeal body. So none of the examples I gave would be possible. In fact if you think about it, it would be rather like hell. Fabulous shoes with no feet to put in them. The scrumchious desserts but no way to eat them! No hands to pet my dogs. There I am standing, or rather being, next to Moses and he doesn't even know I'm there! So. no Jim Morrison playing to a sold out crowd goes without saying.

Our ideas about what heaven should be like would in fact be hell on well, heaven. Which leads me to understand two things. The reason we don't know what happens after death is not because it's some big members only secret. It's because we can't imagine not having a physical form. Even ghosts, when we imagine them, have some kind of physicality. So the afterlife should be left until after. Until then, go buy some shoes!

The Times They Are A Changing

Bob Dylan turned 70 this week. He has slightly less than two decades on me. Was that vague enough? In any case Bob isn't a baby boomer himself but he was a voice of our generation. One of the greatest voices. His lyrics stand the test of time and whether he was solo, with The Band or The Travelling Wilburys he is always relevant.

If your gonna have to turn seventy, and we all will (sorry for the rude awakening), than how kickass is it to be seventy and have lived the life he did. I don't think he led a magical life. No one does. We all have our personal pain to live through and demons to live with. Oh let me just say it. He's seventy fucking years old and he has coolness that Justin Beiber will never achieve! How do I know? I know!

So I tip my hat to you Bob old man. Good job! You are who you were meant to be!

I Want It Bad

Birds do it, bees might do it. My cat does it and so does my dog. Teenagers are great at it. My husband does it without me! So why can't I get any?

Alas the big S has eluded me. Tantalizing, rejuvenating, pleasure giving, life reaffirming sleep! I used to be good at it. I've acheived what I refer to as death sleep. Sleep so deep that the world could end and I wouldn't know it. Sleep so deep that crawling out of my subconscious to reach my conciousness is like crawling out of a collapsed Chilean mine.

The one thing I don't want is to sleep like a baby. Whoever coined that one was never an owner of a tiny human. In fact probably never in the vicinity of one at night. So no I do not want to wake up every few hours during the night although it would mean that at least I had fallen asleep at some point.

Sleep eludes me on a regular basis. Maybe Morpheus misses the hormones that used to travel my bloodstream. Sleep left when they did. My only problem is that they are never coming back, so am I meant to be Sleepless in Seattle for life? I've tried the Kama Sutra of sleeping positions. I've tried what is the viagra of sleep dysfunction which is a sleeping pill. It works but to take one every night is just so Valley of the Dolls. I'd be happy to stay out all night like a teenager because I'm awake anyway but everyone I want to party with is sleeping!

Sigh. I guess I'll have to wait till I reach old age, like old old age not chipper old age. Then I'll be falling asleep even when I'm not supposed to!

Like A Rock?

What makes a person strong? I mean we're always making statements about how strong someone is. We make the opposite statements too. Like, "she'll never be able to handle it" or "he'd just fall apart if he ever found out." Can you really tell who is strong and who isn't? Is it all based on how a person looks on the outside? I ask this seemingly out of the blue question because I wonder if people think I'm strong.

I recently had some shit come down the pike that is my life and as I was dealing with it I got teary eyed. Okay, I got red eyed snotty nosed get me a tissue quickly, is what I would call it if I was telling the truth but I'm not so lets just say I was Hollywood tragicly beautiful as tears streamed down my face that wasn't, I repeat was not, scrunched up! Do the tears make me weak?

I cry at sad movies and at those commercials that pull at your heartstrings. I cry when I see someone I care about in emotional pain. A complete stranger can bring tears to my eyes if I see them hurting. Some of you would call me a cry baby! My emotions are right there on the surface.

After a long rant that took place in my head I realized that despite what you see I am actually the Arnold Shwartzenegger of strength in the face of a shit filled pike! I can deal with it. I'm not afraid of it. Just. Like. The. Rest. Of. You. You don't get from there to here without having to deal with "stuff", stuff that sucks, and yet we all do it. That's strength. How we do it is in the end inconsequential. Question asked and answered your honor! Tears aren't about weakness. Look what water in a stream can do to a large rock in it's path. Over time the water wears it down. My tear ducts are just in better shape than other peoples!

PDA On Social Media- Too Much or Not Enough?

A

s previously threatened, oh I mean promised, I give you the other side of Social Media PDA. Not the stalkerish/people looking for love in all the wrong places kind. Not the harmless "I need an ego boost" kind either. This time it's about the happy couples.

Avatars, or profile pics are one of the places couples show their coup;ehood. Instead of just a pic of the profile owner it's a pic that includes their significant other. It is my unscientific opinion that more women d this than men and more young lovers than older ones. It's something that is really not an issue unless you are jealous of said person for having someone or having someone that you want! I don't want to be known as so and so's mother or so and so's wife. I want to be known for me and I really do love "so and so"

Then we have the declarations of love. They are the equivalent to a soliliquy said under your beloveds balcony. They are you in the middle of the street where your beloved lives, holding a boom box over your head while it plays a love song. They aren't love letters because a love letter is private and a lost art if you ask me. Oh right, you didn't ask! When someone uses a facebook status to write about how they feel about their wife/husband, girlfriend/boyfriend or lover what they are really doing is declaring to all within their realm that they have found "the one".

I think the most important thing is still to tell the person you love, that you love them. Even more important are actions because without them words are meaningless no matter how often you use them. Still I think if you really love someone then you should use social media to say so. Just remember less is more. If it's your go to thing you will cause legions of followers to have a little stomach content start to rise up causing them to gag!

When I see it done right it makes me happy for the people involved. I've always been a romantic at heart. A little PDA can go a long way. Choose your words wisely.

Momma Mia?

For this Mother's Day I'd like to state for the record "I am not my mother!" We all have that fear. Well those of us who are of the mother gender type. If you are a guy and fear becoming your mother you might want to invest in a little therapy. Otherwise there will be a Movie of the Week with your name on it.

I didn't fear becoming my mother until I had kids and started experiencing the insanity kids can bring out in the formerly very sane. I used to be sane. The realization of this fear arrives the day your kids frustrate the crap out of you and you suddenly hear your mothers voice and words coming out of your mouth! I believe I looked around the room to see if she was there. I looked again to make sure no one noticed because *that* was never going to happen again. Okay well not until the next overwhelmingly frustrating moment.

My younger daughter taught me to let go of my frustration. Not on purpose mind you, but she taught me a valid lesson. I just took a while to learn it! I spent many years convinced I had done something in a past life and this was kharma coming to bite me in my reincarnated butt. What I learned the hard way is that we, as parents are really not in control. Not like we like to think we are. It's nature versus nurture and I am on nature's side. Mother nature, the ultimate Mom knows what she's doing.

My daughter was going to be a wild child who became an almost responsible adult and it had almost nothing to do with what I did and did not do for her. My other daughter was never going to be kamikaze wild even if I totally ignored her. Once I accepted each of them for who they were a lot of the frustration left. Well most of it left. A sink full of dirty dishes can still bring it out in me! I'm only human.

The best advice I can give to any young mother out there is that all you can do is love them and if you can live through it you will get to the day where they actually thank you! Of course that doesn't mean they want to be you any more than I want to be my Mom. But hey, you take what you can get!

Mission Accomplished..Really!

Since Osama Bin Laden stole my blogaversary thunder, well the little of it that there was, I thought it only fitting to talk about the guy who is himself a baby boomer! So lets have some fun at his expense. I give you the best (tweets,status updates and snark) of the worst (Osama, like d'uh!)

Seems the Brits of the BBC made just a little typo- Obama dead appeared on their online page!
Although FoxNews didn't do any better as the heading under the anchor read Obama Bin Laden dead!

Following in those footsteps I give you "Burn in hell...Oksana Baiul!"

"I'm sorry...but as far as I'm concerned it's all rumor until Sarah Palin confirms it!"

"It looks like he was pretty prepared for that 3:00am phonecall after all!"

"Apparently Obama's birth certificate was Bin Laden's last horcrux!"

"They just chuck his body and I have to keep 3 years of tax records?!!"

The best tweet on the topic---> "Can you believe those idiots still think I'm living in a cave? What? They're right behind me, aren't they? #Osamaslastwords

Then of course you have this guy who unknowingly live tweeted the whole thing! I guess he got his 15 minutes of fame!Oh and he now has 50,000 plus followers. Before this he had 2000!

So to steal a few of the lyrics from the very appropriate Lily Allen song join me in saying to Osama " Fuck you...Fuck you very much!"

Hope you enjoyed it. Thanks everyone and don't forget to tip your waitresses on the way out!

It's My Party!

Time to move the notch over one on my belt. I have a years worth of posts I need to fit under this belt. That's really not much in blog years!

So raise your glass and I offer this toast:
Here's to you
And here's to me
Oh to hell with you
Here's to me!