Ladies, gals, women, listen up! I have never been a fan of dress your age. I think magazine articles that tell you "how to dress at any age" reek of ageism. The miniskirt seems to be always appropriate if you're in your twenties. Same with skinny jeans. Really? Yet never quite appropriate for an older woman. I guess the magazines are geared for younger women so they have to make them feel good. The ugly truth is that there are legions of twenty year olds that should not be wearing skinny jeans let alone mini skirts. At the same time there are women my age that can rock a pair of skinny jeans. Magazine editors seemingly have yet to discover that being twenty doesn't mean the same as being thin.
I'm still feeling the need to clarify my stance. I am not saying that if you have a great body and you are lets say fifty, you should wear whatever you want. A little flouncy skirt on a fifty year old woman with an athletes body still looks silly. You gotta use common sense and you gotta know who you are. Women that chase every trend usually fall into this trap. They end up looking older not younger. I can wear ripped jeans or a leather biker jacket because its' who I am. My friend Jen who is more elegant than I am can't. Then again I can't carry off anything that would be described as dainty or flowing.
All of this brings me to the cause for my rant. We are our worst enemies sometimes. Today I was on a bus and a woman well into her sixties is sitting a few seats away. Cute bob haircut for her rather pretty white hair. I should have stopped looking when I reached her neck but I am a person who loves people watching. She was wearing a T shirt with cut outs where the shoulders would be. Her black bra straps were showing as well as skin that was lets just say not smooth as a peach. The outfit was completed with 3/4 pants that I couldn't really see and orthopedic looking sandals. Of course the crowning glory was the hat she put on as she was getting off. And you know she thought she looked cute!
Yes even we are allowed our fashion faux pas. God knows I have probably offended someone's eyes by something I shouldn't be wearing. But for God's sake there has to be something between dressing like your 12 and dressing like a little old lady. At the very least don't mix the two styles. Just say no to orthopedic sandals with a peek a boo shirt! And toss any magazine that tries to tell you how to dress solely based on age. We managed to get this far so lets do it with a little flare!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
TV: Circa Me Growing Up...Okay and Probably You Too!
Are you done smiling yet? I got a few more for you.
The Mod Squad
Honey West
Farmers Daughter
Love American Style
Mannix
My Favorite Martian
Dark Shadows
Hazel
And for girls who loved their gogo boots I give you Where The Action Is and Hullabaloo!
This may have been the easiest blog post I've written. I wonder which of these shows stands the test of time!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
What's my number?
I recently came across a list of questions that were aimed, so the list maker decreed, at opening your mind. Admittedly there are things in my mind that should stay locked up! So lets just say I'm willing to open the door a crack to let some fresh air in!
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are? Great question. Now the pressure is on! What's my answer?
I'm occasionally shocked at my chronological age. I'm not quite sure how I got here. Everyone has heard that platitude about the number not mattering, its all about how you feel inside. Inside I feel 16! People will always give you a different age for how they feel inside. Some will say 18 or 20 for example. There's always a reason for whatever number you pick. Its not totally random.
The main reason I feel 16 is because that was the age I really went out into the world. I felt like there were so many options to explore. I still feel that way which is why I have that connection to being 16. I'm not done yet. By 16 I was starting to discover my passions. The things in life I am drawn to and they haven't changed very much. I started really discovering who I was and now I am rediscovering that very same thing.
So is the answer to the question 16 for me? No. I'm at an age where I'm in a committed relationship and we are (re)discovering what that means after all these years. You could say I am childless, meaning that my children are no longer kids. I have adults not kids! I am embarking on some new ventures. Sometimes I have to fight against preconceptions of my chronological age. If I had to make a guess I would say all this puts me somewhere in my twenties.
As I write this I have to honestly tell you that it feels a bit like mental masturbation! Hey, don't blame me, I don't make these expressions up! , Truth is it doesn't matter what your answer is, what matters is that you shouldn't let a number rule your life. Damn, who turned on the lights in here?! Consider this mind open for business, although it is a work in progress.
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are? Great question. Now the pressure is on! What's my answer?
I'm occasionally shocked at my chronological age. I'm not quite sure how I got here. Everyone has heard that platitude about the number not mattering, its all about how you feel inside. Inside I feel 16! People will always give you a different age for how they feel inside. Some will say 18 or 20 for example. There's always a reason for whatever number you pick. Its not totally random.
The main reason I feel 16 is because that was the age I really went out into the world. I felt like there were so many options to explore. I still feel that way which is why I have that connection to being 16. I'm not done yet. By 16 I was starting to discover my passions. The things in life I am drawn to and they haven't changed very much. I started really discovering who I was and now I am rediscovering that very same thing.
So is the answer to the question 16 for me? No. I'm at an age where I'm in a committed relationship and we are (re)discovering what that means after all these years. You could say I am childless, meaning that my children are no longer kids. I have adults not kids! I am embarking on some new ventures. Sometimes I have to fight against preconceptions of my chronological age. If I had to make a guess I would say all this puts me somewhere in my twenties.
As I write this I have to honestly tell you that it feels a bit like mental masturbation! Hey, don't blame me, I don't make these expressions up! , Truth is it doesn't matter what your answer is, what matters is that you shouldn't let a number rule your life. Damn, who turned on the lights in here?! Consider this mind open for business, although it is a work in progress.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
In No Particular Order
This is a list for women who haven't reached what I like to call the Hawaiian years yet, as in Hawaii 5-0. Aloha Dano! Its a little something to keep in mind so you're ready when you get here. If you already have your hula skirt on then check the list anyway.
1.Tricep push ups. I don't care how thin you are if you don't do these you will have saggy arms.
2.Quit smoking. You might get to live to 50 if you stop smoking but thats not why its on the list. Quit so that when you get here you won't be all wrinkled.
3.Wear a bikini. See number 4 for the reason.
4.Take a picture in your bikini. I carry mine in my wallet! Then I can pull it out and say "SEE!" I rocked that bikini and I can prove it.
5.Learn how to have an orgasm. You'll be a happier person when you get here! There are a surprising number of women in all age groups who haven't found what's right for them. This may have to be a do it yourself project but make like the Nike ad.
6.Make love in a place you shouldn't. Obviously its fun but you also get a story to tell later on.
7.Dance. At a club or in the privacy of your own home. There's something joyful in doing it and we all need more joy in our lives. It keeps you connected to the body you've been shlepping around all these year!
8.Travel. Everyone should have a good road trip story to tell. One great thing about aging is having history. Your history is in your stories.
9.Keep a journal or write a blog.
10. Demonstrate. Care about something so much you're willing to hit the streets for your cause. Being passionate about something makes you feel alive.
11.Decide never to lie about your age.
12. Never throw out your favorite jeans. They will come back in style. How I wish I still had my first pair of bell bottoms. There is no way in hell they would ever fit but what a piece of history.
13. Find your style. I love fashion but my style will always be slightly hippie chic with a little grunge mixed in.
14.Hang on to old friends. They know all the old stories because they're in them and so they love hearing you tell them. As the years go by the stories get better and the laughter gets louder!
Okay well that's it! Don't say you haven't been warned!
1.Tricep push ups. I don't care how thin you are if you don't do these you will have saggy arms.
2.Quit smoking. You might get to live to 50 if you stop smoking but thats not why its on the list. Quit so that when you get here you won't be all wrinkled.
3.Wear a bikini. See number 4 for the reason.
4.Take a picture in your bikini. I carry mine in my wallet! Then I can pull it out and say "SEE!" I rocked that bikini and I can prove it.
5.Learn how to have an orgasm. You'll be a happier person when you get here! There are a surprising number of women in all age groups who haven't found what's right for them. This may have to be a do it yourself project but make like the Nike ad.
6.Make love in a place you shouldn't. Obviously its fun but you also get a story to tell later on.
7.Dance. At a club or in the privacy of your own home. There's something joyful in doing it and we all need more joy in our lives. It keeps you connected to the body you've been shlepping around all these year!
8.Travel. Everyone should have a good road trip story to tell. One great thing about aging is having history. Your history is in your stories.
9.Keep a journal or write a blog.
10. Demonstrate. Care about something so much you're willing to hit the streets for your cause. Being passionate about something makes you feel alive.
11.Decide never to lie about your age.
12. Never throw out your favorite jeans. They will come back in style. How I wish I still had my first pair of bell bottoms. There is no way in hell they would ever fit but what a piece of history.
13. Find your style. I love fashion but my style will always be slightly hippie chic with a little grunge mixed in.
14.Hang on to old friends. They know all the old stories because they're in them and so they love hearing you tell them. As the years go by the stories get better and the laughter gets louder!
Okay well that's it! Don't say you haven't been warned!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Teenage Angst Redux
Everyone has a story from their teenage years that follows them into adulthood. This is my story.
It was Junior High School and me and the rest of the midgets were starting to grow up. We were leaving our Danskin sets behind for mini skirts and bell bottoms. In fact the school dress code now allowed girls to wear pants to school! Best of all we were finally old enough to go to teen night at the "Y"! We had arrived!
So there I was in my bell bottoms that were bought in the Village. Not *a* village but *the* Village which for non New Yorkers refers to Greenwich Village the bastion of hippie coolness in the days when they were cool. I carry a little hippie- ness with me to this day and I wear it proudly. Getting back to the matter at hand, I found myself not only in new cool clothes but also crushing on a kid named Simon. He was way cooler than his name would imply. So its with that crush in hand that I went to a dance at the Y.
Luckily I was not left at the sidelines at the dance. I was not a pretty flower hovering by the wall because Harold Walker asked me to dance. This is the moment when it starts to get interesting. Harold was Simon's best friend. In fact anyone who knew them back then would say they were like brothers. Harold pretty much lived at Simon's house. It honestly never occurred to me that Harold was interested in me. All that I thought was that dancing with Harold would get me closer to Simon. It sounds callous but it was really just stupidity mixed with my slightly awkward teenage sense of myself. But really, why else would he have danced so much with me? If I only knew then what I know now!
One small detail you'll need to know about Harold. He was African American or as we said then Black. The next night I got a call from Harold asking me out. I said no. After all it wasn't Harold I wanted to go out with but his best friend Simon. Then it happened. Simon called me. This was not the moment I had been waiting for because all Simon wanted to know was why I wouldn't go out with Harold. My 14 year old self wasn't going to tell Simon the truth. What was I stupid? I think that fact is already well established! Since I had no logical explanation for my behavior Simon filled in the blanks. I was prejudiced. I didn't go out with Harold because he was Black. Nothing I said changed Simon's mind. In fact the only thing that could have changed his mind was the truth. However at 14 I would rather let him think I was prejudice than let him know I liked him.
As an adult I have often thought about Harold Walker. I doubt he even remembers the incident. Still I would love to be able to tell him the truth. I did look for him. I looked for Simon too, figuring that where there's Simon there's Harold. I found Simon. I told him the whole story and he got mad! Well in a good way. He said that by not telling him the truth I stole from him the possible opportunity of being with the love of his life! Who knows what direction our lives would have taken had we gotten together! As if! As if he was even remotely interested in me at the time. Sweet nonetheless. The 14 year old in me was flattered!
Unfortunately Simon lost track of Harold. That saddened me. Finding Harold has been an impossible task. With a name like Harold Walker it's like finding a needle in a haystack. I'm not sure this tale of teenage angst will ever get closure. I'll always think of Harold and I smile when I do. He was a great guy. My loss and my gain. I gained by learning from this experience. Oh there were plenty of other times I screwed up but I never made this mistake again. Here's to you Harold Walker!
It was Junior High School and me and the rest of the midgets were starting to grow up. We were leaving our Danskin sets behind for mini skirts and bell bottoms. In fact the school dress code now allowed girls to wear pants to school! Best of all we were finally old enough to go to teen night at the "Y"! We had arrived!
So there I was in my bell bottoms that were bought in the Village. Not *a* village but *the* Village which for non New Yorkers refers to Greenwich Village the bastion of hippie coolness in the days when they were cool. I carry a little hippie- ness with me to this day and I wear it proudly. Getting back to the matter at hand, I found myself not only in new cool clothes but also crushing on a kid named Simon. He was way cooler than his name would imply. So its with that crush in hand that I went to a dance at the Y.
Luckily I was not left at the sidelines at the dance. I was not a pretty flower hovering by the wall because Harold Walker asked me to dance. This is the moment when it starts to get interesting. Harold was Simon's best friend. In fact anyone who knew them back then would say they were like brothers. Harold pretty much lived at Simon's house. It honestly never occurred to me that Harold was interested in me. All that I thought was that dancing with Harold would get me closer to Simon. It sounds callous but it was really just stupidity mixed with my slightly awkward teenage sense of myself. But really, why else would he have danced so much with me? If I only knew then what I know now!
One small detail you'll need to know about Harold. He was African American or as we said then Black. The next night I got a call from Harold asking me out. I said no. After all it wasn't Harold I wanted to go out with but his best friend Simon. Then it happened. Simon called me. This was not the moment I had been waiting for because all Simon wanted to know was why I wouldn't go out with Harold. My 14 year old self wasn't going to tell Simon the truth. What was I stupid? I think that fact is already well established! Since I had no logical explanation for my behavior Simon filled in the blanks. I was prejudiced. I didn't go out with Harold because he was Black. Nothing I said changed Simon's mind. In fact the only thing that could have changed his mind was the truth. However at 14 I would rather let him think I was prejudice than let him know I liked him.
As an adult I have often thought about Harold Walker. I doubt he even remembers the incident. Still I would love to be able to tell him the truth. I did look for him. I looked for Simon too, figuring that where there's Simon there's Harold. I found Simon. I told him the whole story and he got mad! Well in a good way. He said that by not telling him the truth I stole from him the possible opportunity of being with the love of his life! Who knows what direction our lives would have taken had we gotten together! As if! As if he was even remotely interested in me at the time. Sweet nonetheless. The 14 year old in me was flattered!
Unfortunately Simon lost track of Harold. That saddened me. Finding Harold has been an impossible task. With a name like Harold Walker it's like finding a needle in a haystack. I'm not sure this tale of teenage angst will ever get closure. I'll always think of Harold and I smile when I do. He was a great guy. My loss and my gain. I gained by learning from this experience. Oh there were plenty of other times I screwed up but I never made this mistake again. Here's to you Harold Walker!
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