"A Poem is a Naked Person"- Bob Dylan

I found a journal of poetry I had kept that my sixteen year old self wrote. It was filled with my words and those of others that I appreciated at the time. What an eclectic taste I had. I had poems from Laurence Furlenghetti alongside poems by Erica Jong and Susan Polis Shutz who was a feminist shlock meister from the late 60's/early 70's. I wrote down great lyrics from Bob Dylan the master alongside lyrics to some sappy Diana Ross hit from back then when she was making hits. How could I love both the truly worthy and the crap of the crop? My answer is a number. Sixteen. All I can say is that at least I had the sense to recognize some of the greats.

Reading my own poetry was a kick. I tried to remember who I was writing about or what event in my life was happening that led me to write. I couldn't always remember. It's funny because a lot of what I wrote was crap! No other way to describe it. Those poems will never see the light of day but I thought I would share a few of the good ones or rather the ones that are not embarrassingly god awful! It's nice to be able to look back and glimpse who I once was so I figured I would lock the car doors and take you along for the ride. Not all at once. Just some short trips so no need to scream "Are we there yet!"

This poem I wrote about a friend who would spend time with me writing poetry. She gave me the idea for the journal.

Murky water colored sea
India inks with pen
Life lines on a page
Guitar strings
Cries from the depth
With flower blue eyes that tell stories
Time passes
Smoke curling upward
Coffee consumed
Fragility
Soft soul
Like a Raggedy Ann with I Love You written on her heart

Love Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry

What is this thing called love we all seem to believe in yet it's not a thing that you can actually see and touch. In fact, how interesting that most people believe love exists without question, but the same can't be said for the big guy God. We can't see God anymore than we can see love. I'm not going to go all biblical on you, just a random observance of mine. I started to think about love after all my posts on sex and Rock and Roll. You know, all you need is love!

Someone I came across some years ago, described what love is in a way that I liked. He said that you first need to imagine that you are like a house. You might invite someone over that you don't know very well. They stay in the living room where you offer them a little refreshment while they visit. Someone you like a lot might get a quick tour of the house and they can come into the kitchen while you prepare some snacks. Someone you love, you let wander around your house unchaperoned.

But what is it about a person that we love, and makes us love them? I've been doing it for 30 years now! He has wandered this old house and he has stayed! So I love him for that. As I started thinking about it I realized that some of why I love him has to do with me me me! I love that I can feel safe in his arms. I love that he knows the crazy and still loves me. I love that he really wants me to be happy. You see what I mean? Me< me, me!

So this intrepid reporter ( blogger doesn't have the same ring to it) decided to think about the other non me related things that make me love him. He is addicted to TV. He loves to read. He would prefer to stay home and hang out than run from thing to thing. He has a snarky sense of humor but never needs to shock you to be funny. He has the discipline to write a book. His discipline with working out/eating right while admirable can sometimes get on my nerves aka jealousy. Family is number one. When the kids need him just to be there, he's there! He does the dishes AND washes the floor. He is great at political debate. His eyes. His love of animals. The touch of grey in his scruffy beard. Well in all fairness that's new. So you see, love grows over time!

Maybe love does mean never having to say your sorry, although there is a man in my life who will tell you that if I said that then I would be full of shit! Ah well, it's a great line from a great movie about a love that is fierce. Maybe love isn't meant to mean something. It's meant to be felt.

I know. It's Only Rock and Roll....

But I like it! Yes I do! Rock is the anthem of my generation. It gave birth to Pop rock, soft rock and even Bubble Gum! There's Folk Rock and Southern Rock and it's all Rock and Roll to me! I'm not really sure when it happened but I lost touch. My guiding rule of thumb for this moment had always been a radio station slogan. "If it's too loud, you're too old!" Well it's not too loud!

So how did this happen to me? This, this thing called there is music out there I don't know! It's not like I think the name is Ke, dollar sign, ha (ke$ha) or anything. I may watch too much Glee. Does that make me stuck in the past like Mr Shuster? Maybe it's karma from when I laughed behind an older persons back who called R.E.M. rem, like the kind of sleep you are in when you are in it deep! Whatever the reason, there is music out there that I don't know or at best I may have heard of the artist but couldn't name any of their songs!

To a large extent I blame the iPod. I never listen to the radio. Not even while driving. MTV? It lost it's charm for me. You have to listen to a lot of crap to get to the good stuff. And there you have it. The iPod gives me the music I love whenever I need music and more telling is that for every new song I like there are 20 I don't.

Here's the part that prompted me to write about it. I'm not sure I really care! I have Jimi Hendrix and today you have what? Lady Gaga? I have the Beatles and the Stones. I'm not even sure what there is today with that kind of staying power. I have Motown for cruising. I have James Taylor and Carol King for those reach out and touch someone moments. I have Elton John and Stevie Wonder. Bob Dylan and Tom Petty. Janis Joplin who might never have made it on MTV. Enough said. We have good music. Really good music. It's so good, that we can be forgiven for the Bubble Gum stuff.

This phenomena that I am experiencing is an age thing. I'm okay with it. I can blame it on my iPod but look at my kids iPods. They are constantly refilled with new music. So it's not the iPod, it's me! I'm just grateful to all the great artists that fill up my iPod. They rock. If you want to "educate" me then blip some new good tunes and send them my way. I'll listen. In the mean time I'll bemoan the death of album art!

The Court of Appeal

So I yakked about sexy in my last post. Now instead of bringing sexy back I thought we could talk about sex appeal. Sexy is that thing that comes from the inside out. It's what makes the opposite sex go hmmmm. Sex appeal is the wrapping paper for the package. Not that package! You can't just tie a bow around it guys! What I was thinking was how do mere mortals as opposed to the Brangelinas of the world get some of that sex appeal.

Sex appeal is like the word says, about others finding the idea of sex with you appealing. Looks obviously play into it. The rules of attraction vary from person to person. What I think is hot you may not. So I'm going to skirt the issue of physicality a little bit.

When you meet someone what are the things you notice right away? First thing I notice is a persons eyes. Not the color but more like what are they saying. Is there a sense of mystery there that I could get lost in? That for me is part of the sex appeal of a person. How expressive are their eyes.

Next up is their hands. It's not a deal breaker but I don't like ham hocks for hands. However, more important than the shape of the hand or fingers is how well he can use those hands! Ladies, a good pair of hands is more important than the size of the magicians wand and you know that! A guy that knows how to touch someone well...sigh. A good pair of hands is hard to find.

So how do we up our appeal? First by appealing to the sense of smell. Ladies and gentleman step away from the heavy smells or the urge to overdose. A clean light scent rocks. I don't need to make an appeal for good hygiene do I? If you're not clean we aren't gonna go there! In case that needed to be said, I said it!

Touch. Soft skin and yes, even if you're a guy! Best way to get it is a sugar scrub while you take a shower. Sugar. The kind that you put in your coffee or whatever followed by some baby oil or other really rich moisturizer and you are as soft as a babies tush. Guys, go read GQ to find out how you get soft skin. Not sure about the sugar and all that hair on your bodies.

Sex appeal needs to cover all the senses. So here's looking at you kid. No shlumpy sweats. Show off the body parts you like. A little cleavage? Nice legs or some JLo booty? Guys, buy clothes that fit! No baggy shirts or ass crack baggy pants. We wanna see the goods!

With a little effort we can all boost our appeal and that boosts our inner mojo that makes the opposite sex take notice. It doesn't matter if you are twenty something or boomer something! If you're a boomer something like me than get your appeal on baby, it's definitely not over yet!

Where Does Sexy Come From?

I'm not sure I've figured it out yet even though I've had long enough! There have been different times in my life where men have found me to be sexy (not to be confused with pretty). So what the hell were they seeing? If I knew I would have bottled it!

What got me thinking was the guy whose picture is up there at the top. He's a contestant on American Idol this year. Yes I watch Idol? Wanna make something of it? (Can't take the NYer out of this girl) So he looks like a nice enough guy, but be honest, you'd walk right by him on a busy street. You wouldn't turn your head for another look. So after his performance why were girls screaming for him? He was suddenly sexy.

I wish sexy was easier to define than I know it when I see it. It's easier for me to tell you what isn't sexy. To put us all on the same page (even if it gets a little crowded) sexy is not the same thing as having sex appeal. Sex appeal is all about external things. Sex appeal is about the pretty but you don't need to be pretty/handsome to be sexy. Okay, so it doesn't hurt... I took a moment there to daydream about my favorite hunk!

So sexy really isn't about the external which means that sexy clothes or lingerie is actually a misnomer. They should be called "I want to have sex" clothes! Now while everyone has different ideas about what sexy is, there is one thing that most women find sexy in a guy. It happens any time he does the dishes! Am I right ladies? No sixpack abs needed. Are you paying attention guys? I hope my guy reads this post. Hopefully it will lead to a lot of clean dishes if you know what I mean!

Incredible talent is sexy. Clean dishes are sexy. What else? A little bit of the bad boy is sexy. So is kindness and definitely a sense of humor. These three things might be like the trifecta of sexy.

So what if you have this wonderful guy. What can he do, besides of course the dishes? He can look at you like he really sees you. He can hold your face in his hands and slowly kiss you. He can jump up and hug you when you meet somewhere like a restaurant, a party or just by chance. He can make you feel like you're the only woman in the room. Funny how when a guy makes you feel good, he becomes sexy.

Sexy is as sexy does! So just do it!

Weeds

Is it the TV show, the stuff that gives you some good rastaman vibes or those pesky plants that grow anywhere? How about none of the above. I'm weeding but it's the garden in my closest and the weeds are the clothes I need to get rid of...or do I?

It's a hard process and I am not a hoarder so I can only imagine what those people go through! My closet became a mess and I had no idea anymore what I had and what I didn't have which is amazing because I don't have a lot. So I decided it was time to tend to my garden closet because I am going shopping! My new clothes should really have a nicer home.

First to go were T shirts and tank tops that were too short. What jackass decided belly shirts were a good thing? Actually I'm not sure the designer is to blame. We are, because we bought them! Honestly though, even when my stomach gets back to it's non protruding self I will not wear them. So out they go! Oh and I don't care how young you are,if you don't have washboard abs I'm calling the fashion police. In my fashion defense I never bought those ridiculously pointy shoes and boots that were in style some years ago. And yes I did laugh at all of you who bought them!

The next obstacle in my closet also has to do with size. The dreaded fat clothes and the beloved skinny clothes. As I write this I have decided to rid myself of the fat clothes. I want to be my perfect weight. I don't need those clothes sitting there and telling me " It's okay, eat all the cookies. We'll still fit you!" The skinny clothes will take some more consideration. The stick skinny clothes are out. That isn't my perfect weight. As for the rest, I'll keep what's timeless and the ultra trendy stuff will set new trends on some skinny bitch that is having money trouble. I'm donating the good stuff.

Last but not least is the biggest conundrum of them all. What if it comes back in style? Trust me, when you've been around the fashion block for as long as I have things come back. So how do you chose? If you love it then keep it. If not then say bye bye and if the style comes back buy new. For me, I keep anything that might be classified as hippie chic and also jeans that I love. To this day I regret throwing out bell bottoms I used to have. They came back! Now that I am who I am and I own it, I will wear things that are not totally in! So while I do follow fashion trends I still have one foot in the past. Speaking of feet, don't get me started on shoes! In other words, keep what you love that might come back if you would actually wear it despite what Vogue magazine says. Or keep it if it has sentimental value. The sweater/jeans/Tshirt you wore when you saw The Rolling Stones would fall under this genre. You can't predict fashion except to say that everything old will become new again. We just don't know when, so go with your heart.

Clothes that I don't wear seem to grow like weeds in my closet. Could it be a metaphor for other things in my life?

The Name Game

I did it! It took me long enough but hells yeah, I did it! Naming things has always been hard for me, whether it be a character or the title of something I am writing. It's as if sub consciously I think that in their names lies their destiny so I better get it right. When I initially named this blog Women My Age it was because I wanted to give a voice to women who are as you know, my age! That however was not the destiny of my blog since it became evident that it wasn't just a women thing. It was a generation thing!

At one point I asked for help on Facebook. There were some good suggestions but when I put them on they just didn't look right on me! So I let it go. Then, I think under the influence of an article written about baby boomers I tossed out two ideas to the facebook crowd. The first was Boomerage and the second was Terminally Boomer. Most people took issue with the use of the word terminal. As if we all aren't in the end! Most preferred Boomerage because they didn't want to be reminded re the terminal thing. I almost used it anyway. It was my favorite but in the end I shelved them both and just kept writing. I figured it was time to stop talking about it. You know "If you're going to shoot, shoot, don't talk!"

So I recently wrote a post "I'm Ready For My Closeup" and in it I wrote that I want to see coming of age movies about interesting middle aged characters. Coming of age...huh...pretty clever! It stuck with me because it's true. We come of age more than once in our lives. Any moviegoer knows we do it when we leave childhood behind but guess what? We do it when we marry/commit to someone, we do it when we become parents, we do it when we no longer have parents that are alive and we do it when we reach middle age!

By this time we have become who we are. There are still opportunities to be a better person. That never stops. But we are somebody and this is the age where it is time to own it! That's what this stage of coming of age feels like to me and why the name fit like a glove! Just not OJ's glove!