Out of the Blue

I watched Modern Family last night, the Halloween episode. Let the "behind the times" jokes fly. I know it's almost December. So after I was done laughing my ass off, which I always do when watching that show, and oh how I wish that was not just a figure of speech don't you? Wait! Where was I going with that run away sentence? Ah yes, Phil, possibly my favorite character on the show finds out about his neighbors divorce. It's not a case of a cheating spouse. It is however the thing that Phil most fears. The dreaded "out of the blue, I didn't see it coming" reason for divorce.

It's pretty obvious that people don't get divorced out of the blue. It is possible that one of the spouses didn't see it coming. The thing is they only see it in retrospect. What Happened to them? They became *that couple* and one of them woke up and said I don't wanna be *that couple* any more. I want more.

Here's what I mean by *that couple* and it's in no particular order. Just the peculiar order my brain spits things out! No PDA. Not even in the privacy of their own home. Kisses? Not deep wet kisses that last for days but always little pecks. No one is constantly making out but people that still got it for each other don't just peck! So the sex well, it isn't really happening. I can't say how much is the right amount. I can only say that *that couple* is having less of it then they should and its not all that good although no one actually says it out loud.

I put the cart in front of the horse! It doesn't start with the physical. It usually starts with all the other stuff. It isn't that you are at each others throat. That would indicate some kind of passion. It's that you are like good roommates. You read your books in bed before going to sleep but then when the lights go out you both turn to face in different directions. Where you once talked about all your hopes and dreams you now make small talk. You look like a couple on the outside but there's a lot of empty inside.

All of this leads to something that is the worst part of I didn't see it coming. As a woman I view emotional cheating as the worst kind of cheating. I have friends with whom I can say anything. Hopefully we all do. It needs to be my partner however that I share it all with. Make that all with a capital A L L. The sharing of it all needs to go both ways. When the sharing stops it has to go somewhere. We are by nature creatures that need to share. It would just hurt so much if he wasn't sharing with me. If someone else was the one he went to for that. Even if it's another guy friend. It's still not me! Of course if it's a woman, then we have "the other woman" and there is really room for only one woman in my relationship. Now if you are a guy reading this just reverse everything I just said!

I have *that couple* fear sometimes. I think it's why I can describe it so well. I've been married a long time and it's at this point that a lot of couples can start to sleepwalk until they bump into the thing they didn't see coming. Thankfully my fear is as of yet unfounded. Just when I think maybe we are becoming *them* he does something that surprises me. So go and surprise your partner. If not, you risk being Phil's divorced neighbor on Modern Family or worse, his unhappily married neighbor!

Just fade away?

What is an old rocker to do? My generation invented the rockstar. The edgy, you can't bring him home. to meet your parents kind of guy. Now what? Those guys are now the parents and holy crap even the grandparents. Their music stands the test of time, but do they?

I would like to call one Mick Jagger to the stand. Do we want to see this well aged rocker in leggings and a belly shirt strutting around the stage performing what the best of Rock has to offer? Oh those lips! Yeah but oh those saggy cheeks! Mick can't pull it off anymore without looking like a sad caricature of his younger self. He can still strut but he needs to change the clothes! Ironically Keith Richards can get away with his pirate look. Maybe it's because he always looked worn and torn even back then! I think it's a case of the man wearing the clothes as opposed to the clothes wearing the man. Clear as mud?

Next up? I call Eric Clapton to the stand. I watched a recent you tube video of him and I had to really look to be sure it was him. The voice was definitely him but who was this guy in a button down short sleeve shirt and ill fitting jeans? Never mind the 1st grader haircut. Eric Clapton was cool without having to swagger much. He looked like he gave up. He became a guy his age that lived in the 1950's maybe. Put on a leather jacket...please!

I am starting to feel bad for these guys. It's hard enough for us normal folks to find balance in how we dress as we age. On second thought these guys can afford stylists. Okay, forget the pity party. Old rockers are going to turn grey but that should add to their coolness. I wanna see these guys play and I don't want to feel embarrassed for them. Tone it down or dial it up so I can stay tune in.

Hat tip to http://www.charleywarady.com/2010/11/04/old-rockers-are-old/ for the inspiration!

FaceOff!

I'm sick and tired and I'm not going to take it any more! I am not amused but I am feeling abused. It's all the OMG my Mom's on facebook and she friended me crap. I guess Dad's are included but they seem to be less the brunt of the joke. Suddenly the twenty somethings and their followers think Mom is invading their territory and lowering their coolness factor,

I've never seen any of my friends bother their kids or their kids friends on facebook. Of course, they are my friends thereby making them too smart to do that. Frankly, I rarely even read my kids status updates. I'm not on facebook for that. If I want an update I use the phone. You see we have our own lives hard as it is to believe. We are not on facebook to spy on our kids.

For arguments sake, lets say there are those out there who do friend their kids friends and who join in to their kids conversations or worse. You see the problem is that "the kids" feel they need to worry because now Mom will know whatever it is they don't want Mom to know. To that I say "Oh grow up!" You're over the legal age and you're living on your own for heavens sake. It's time to own whoever it is that you are and if Mom scares you then the problem is with you not your Mom.

Then we have what I call the embarrassment factor. It's our right as parents. So if you get embarrassed by something good ol' Mom did or said on facebook I say more power to ya Momma! My kids are immune. I'm not sure what I would have to do to embarrass them. I am however up for the challenge. My kids actually revel in the family crazy. I brought them up right!

So to make this short rant even shorter, cut it out. Stop making out like your parents are hopeless when it comes to social media or anything else for that matter. Trust me when I tell you that anything you've done, we've done and we did it better!

House Cleaning

Have no fear. This is not, I repeat not, about how to wrangle the dust bunnies under your bed. I don't have an answer for that. I leave a little lettuce for mine every now and again. I'm talking about my daughter's room. The one who finished college and is now embarking on her life. I'm excited for her but I'm left with the clutter that is her room. She is a pack rat. It comes from her dad who would never let me throw anything out if I asked him. Then one day I realized that half the stuff he doesn't even know is there so I simply stopped asking.

I started the project of cleaning her room. She;s not here to do it. It will always be her room to use but you know and I know that she isn't coming back here to live. Only her Dad doesn't know and even if he reads this his denial skills are those of a ninja! It isn't making me sad. In fact a tchochke free room makes me happy. You see on the occasion I will need to clean the room it will be clutter free. All the clutter will be boxed away if I could only make a dent!

So here's the uncluttered truth. I did good. My daughter has left the nest. Now with my other daughter it should be interesting. When she was itty bitty she once asked me where I was going to live when she got married. I asked her what she meant and she said "Well, I'm going to live here so where will you guys live?!" Anybody know a good realtor?

Rebranding

Doesn't that sound like it would hurt? Hey, I grew up watching Bonanza what did you expect. To me branding or rebranding has to do with a hot iron and a cows hide not a product or "brand" whose image you want to change. But as usual I digress.What I want to talk about is this blog.

I started writing it for myself and other women my age because this is such a fun and crazy time in our lives. Surprisingly, guys are reading it. Most of them are my friends so I guess you could say they do it for that reason but they keep coming back which means they find things they can identify with other than the hot flashes. Lucky bastards!

I'm thinking of rebranding. Same product, different name! Would this blog by any other name be as good? I think so. I'm looking for something baby boomer-ish. I'm talkin bout my generation! We did have the best music. We defined Rock. Fashion? They keep coming back for more. I only wish I had saved some of it. Turbulent times? I think we might have invented them!

Okay enough of how cool we were/are. Definitely are. On a good day definitely. So now I need a name. People I'm talkin to you! I need your help. Don't make me do this on my own!

Sense and Memory

I'm always amazed at how my mind works! With the least amount of provocation my mind goes places no human should be allowed to go. Have no fear. We aren't going anywhere near that today. Actually what spurred this post was a little light rain this week. The weather was still warm. There is a certain smell that goes along with rain and warm air. That sense becomes like a transporter because suddenly I was someplace else.

I was back in my old neighborhood. I was probably around 12 or 13 years old. It's summer time and we're al hanging outside at the corner mailbox learning to be cool when there is a sudden downpour. No one wants to go back home so we all huddle together under the awning of the Catholic school on the block. While piled in under the awning we discuss the meaning of life and all the important stuff. Like what life will be like in the year 2000! Rain stops and we return to our original posturing!

Amazing that our senses, particularly the sense of smell is so acutely connected to memory. Damp freshly mowed grass in the early morning and I am back at camp. I loved camp. I wish I could bottle the smell. We would spend the first half of the year before camp talking about what it would be like and the second half of the year going over what happened that summer. It was a unique place to say the least and it had a profound effect on who I would become so I may just try to bottle some Eau de Camp.

I don't do it often enough but I have made homemade pizza. The smell of flour which somehow gets all over my kitchen and the smell of the tomato sauce as the pizza is cooking mix together and bingo I'm in the old neighborhood pizza joint. It's a long journey since a slice was only 25 cents back then! There is also the non food related smell of peroxide which puts me in a hair salon. The hair salon of our mothers. The one where the women would be sitting with their hair in pink curlers under these dryer hoods! The smell of hairspray thick in the air as well. Cans of it full of fluorocarbons!

Music works much the same way. I'll hear a certain song and I'm an awkward teen again. Damn we had good music growing up. So there it is. You wanna revisit the past? Just find the right sensory stimuli to take you there. We all experience it. I love when it catches me off guard. You'll know because I'll be staring out at nothing with a silly grin on my face!